Monday, December 20, 2010

Eyes In The Dark (2010)

Fear 0/5
Gore 1/5
Entertainment 0/5
Creepiness 1/5

It's no secret that I'm a sucker for the found footage style of film. But if movies like Eyes in The Dark continue to get made, I just might swear them off altogether.

From the first person perspective of someone viewing an FBI computer database (which is suspiciously similar to Evil Things), we see a series of videos that were found in Washington state. From a researcher and his assistant out in the woods, to a reporter's news footage, to the more prolonged tape of college students whooping it up one last time (before they graduate) at a cabin in the woods. The latter of which, spans most of the film's run time.

I'm not going to spend any time describing the 4 girls and 3 guys in the group because they are your standard horror fodder. Not bad per se but this 'go to' set of characterizations just screams of laziness. As such, there is no dynamic to the group, no two shits given, when the poopy hits the fan.

Rooming with them in the same cabin (kind of creepy in and of itself), is an old man who serves as a caretaker to the cabin. One night by the fireplace, he recounts the story of the area, a legend that dates back a couple hundred years. Supposedly, some sort of evil comes down from the mountains every 30 years or so to feast upon anyone and anything within their path. I liked this better when it was called The 13th Warrior.

Anywhos, along with the kids and their video cam (one of the friends wants to capture everything from the weekend), we hear things in the woods as we see the other bits of footage recovered. We don't see anything, instead we hear rumblings and grumblings within the woods. Is it a sasquatch? A werewolf? A velociraptor? Roseanne Barr looking for a baloney sandwich? Painfully, we are left wondering all the way until the payoff at about an hour and 20 min. in. And boy is it a doozy, as we are treated to rubbery suited people that would make Roger Corman proud. In 1959.

It's cheap, it's dime store, it's Spirit Halloween costume store ridiculousness. Look, I can appreciate indie films and the challenges that come with budgetary constraints. But did anyone actually say 'Hey, this might not be a good idea' to the director? None of that really matters anyways because what you have here is a hollow shell of a film with no real tension, scares, or atmosphere. All of it is tied together with the most annoying characters I've witnessed on film this year. Congrats Eyes in the Dark, you beat out the A Nightmare On Elm Street remake.

You are treated to something rather funny (or sad, depending how you look at it). Not one but TWO Blair Witch-esque moments where a couple of the kids snivel, cry and snot into the video camera.

Eyes in the Dark, welcome to my 'Worst of' list for 2010.

Cortez the Killer


the jaded viewer said...

I had a draft e-mail to get a delete.

scary film review said...

i'm a sucker for a bad movie, i'll have to check this one out

Geof said...

The best thing about this film...your hilarious review. I hate to hate on indie filmmakers, but that was the most unoriginal film I have seen in a long time. My review won't be any kinder, I'll tell you that.

Cortez The Killer said...

@Jaded, it might make for an amusing write-up though!

@Scary Film, its not even good in an oh so bad its good way. Steer clear. You can thank me later.

@Geof, extremely unoriginal. And a total ripoff. I failed to also mention the drag down the hallway scene a la Paranormal Activity.

Carl Manes said...

I didnt entirely hate it, only for the fact that it was made on next to nothing. I love the found footage style as well, and I can't necessarily say that I would have been able to do any better with $10,000. All of your arguments are completely valid, and it seems pretty apparent that this filming method was chosen to try to cover up the lack of skill.

B-Movie Becky said...

After watching the trailer, it looks like it was shot right around where I grew up (90% sure from that scene in the car anyway). Also, where I filmed Break.

So...I'm kind of curious to watch it anyway.