Monday, December 21, 2009

Women's Prison Massacre (1983)

Fear 0/5
Gore 3/5
Entertainment 3/5
Creepiness 1/5
T&A Factor 5/5

Did your head explode upon reading that title? Go ahead and piece it back together. OK, are you finished? Let's dive into this uber trashy, Italian exploitation flick, shall we?

The film begins at the location mentioned in the title, with a group of women performing an open dialogue onstage while other prisoners look on. Each one, telling their stories of how they got themselves confined to four walls and their subsequent attempts to reform. A trashy blonde (who looks like a cross between Martha Plimpton and David Bowie) starts shouting from the audience, calling out the group of performing girls for not embracing who they truly are as convicted criminals. This continues on, as afterwards, they head to the mess hall and she again confronts the women, calling them whores and threatening to bite their nipples off. Yes, the words 'I'll bite your nipples off' are actually uttered (I assume a terrible translation from Italian??). They then proceed to go all Over the Top-ish:

What is initially thought to be a Westside Story a la rival prison gangs, soon turns to hardened male criminals coming into the picture to royally fuck shit up. You see, a police cargo van transporting a quadruple-y chain linked bunch of vicious (and horny) males was diverted from their original destination after learning that a prison break occurred and that the escaped convicts had taken control of the local police and setup a roadblock.

After getting to their temporary digs at the all female prison, the police escort runs down the record of each criminal to the warden and her assistant. Each one is more devious and foul than the previous. The most vile of all, being a man they call Crazy Boy who has a penchant for cop killing. The officer mentions that to truly pay for all his crimes, he would have to be sentenced to death more than once. Egad!

A failed bid to get the prisoners into their cells sees them taking control, seriously injuring the police escort and taking both the warden and her assistant captive. Getting a hold of a police radio, they let their demands be known: come up with a private jet and a cool couple of mil within the next few hours or else bodies will start hitting the floor. That occurs anyways as, well, the word 'massacre' is attached to the film's title. Some pretty crazy shit goes down as the girls try to fend for themselves. The most daring one of them, puts a razorblade to a wine cork and stuffs it up her vajay jay. She seduces one of the guys and well, you can pretty much figure out what happens from there.

The coup de grace comes by way of a forced game of Russian roulette between the female heroine and her hated rival culminating in the latter capping herself and brain matter flying into the mouth of Crazy Boy as he screams 'YOU SLUT!'. Um dude, don't blame her, you were the one who insisted that they play along. Don't be all butthurt that you got a sliver of brain matter pie flung into your mouthface.

The ending is fairly anti-climactic. I mean, how can you follow up a head being blown off with brainy bits flying into one's mouth? Overall, this film is exploitation in every sense of the word. Aside from the brutal violence, there are a couple rape scenes that occur which may be too much for some viewers. They are not on the level of some horror films (i.e. Day of The Woman), but they are still fairly graphic. If you can get over that (afterall, this is an exploitation film), what you'll find is a classic sleazefest with an overabundance of awesomely bad one liners and overacting.

Warning: trailer is NSFW

Cortez The Killer

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Tower Farm said...


You are right. This looks right up my alley. How is it that I have never even heard of it? AND it has Laura Gemser?! Billy will never understand why I love her!


Matt-suzaka said...

I've heard of, but never seen this film and I love me some Exploitation involving women and prisons! This sounds good enough to entertain me at least.

If you wanna see a good women in prison film, check out the Pam Grier films like Black Mama, White Mama and The Big Bird Cage, which is actually directed by the great Jack Hill! I fucking love 'em!

Cortez The Killer said...

JM, I know what you mean. She is a hottie with a naughty body.

Matt, I will definitely be checking out those films as well! Gacias!