PLANET OF TERROR!!

Megan Is Missing (2011)

2012-01-27T07:00:00.000-08:00

Fear 4/5
Gore 2/5
Entertainment 5/5
Creepiness 4/5

Many thanks to my friend, the illustrious BJ-C over at Day of the Woman for turning me on to this film that has one humdinger of an ending. It is of the found footage variety but with multiple videos strung together that are also interspersed with some 'real' news footage. It tells the story of two girls who are far too carefree and trusting of those whom they meet, especially online. And some subtle commentary of teens today plays out as we go along.

Megan and Amy are two seemingly normal teenage girls. They like to talk about boys and videotape themselves being silly and doing, well, normal silly teenage girl things. But that soon gives way to a wild side which is shown about Megan. Sure she likes to participate with Amy in the silly girly shenanigans. But when other 'friends' come-a-calling, and the night falls, she becomes someone entirely different. A girl much too footloose and fancy free for someone being so young. She is not at all under the care and watch of involving parents.

Much to her reluctance, Amy is dragged out to one of Megan's outings one night. Cameras shift perspective as we meet a party organizer who's videotaping the whole affair, having invited a bunch of these young adults over for a good time (AKA drugs, booze and sex). Amy is the outcast as not only does she not participate in anything that's in front of her, but she's met with instant disapproval among the party goers who think that she's just one big fat loser.

But despite a terrible night and her friend going down on some random guy to score drugs, that doesn't deter Amy. She still loves her best friend despite her reckless and uncontrolled ways. Mommy and daddy have bought her a new video camera which she uses to continue to document just how silly but normal a teenager she is: interviewing mom, bugging dad, giving a tour of her house, etc. Pretty harmless stuff. However, things take a turn towards the dark when she interviews Megan and she breaks down about her current home life and what actually occurred in the household wherein she grew up.

The revelations which Megan gives on camera is just the tip of the iceberg. She soon tells Amy of an interaction she had with a man online and her desire to meet him because of a supposed 'connection.' Amy is at first suspicious but when a 'real' photo of the skateboard loving dude is produced, her concerns are eased. But when Megan doesn't return home after a planned encounter, she becomes worried. Further interaction with the online man only furthers her concern and she eventually alerts the news and local authorities.

As things play out in the media, here is where our subtle commentary takes place: Megan is painted as the picture of the All-American girl. Smart, beautiful and popular, she's the type of girl you'd want your son to date and your daughter to emulate. It's so eerie that you start to wonder 'Is this the picture of every missing teenage, white, middle-American girl that is painted and are they incredibly far off from the reality?' Our story turns to the all-out grotesque as Amy is taken by Megan's captor and the true horror that has happened to her is revealed and innocent Amy endures the same.

Megan Is Missing is one kick you in the gut film even though you may see the ending coming from a mile away. However, nothing can prepare you for what you'll see. Despite some glaring logic gaps (why would Amy's parents continue to let her go out by herself even though they knew a kidnapper was loose?), the realistic story is gripping and compelling. And it's not something that's too far off from something you'd see plastered one the front page of the morning paper. And my god, the 'barrel scene' (you'll know it once you see it) is enough to bring most genre watching vets to their knees.

Megan Is Missing is currently available to stream via NetFlix.

Cortez the Killer

Some Guy Who Kills People (2011)

2012-01-24T17:46:00.000-08:00

Fear 2/5
Gore 4/5
Entertainment 5/5

Creepiness 2/5

Some Guy Who Kills people is an indie pic that I've been hearing about for awhile now. Festival goers and film critics 'in-the-know' have raved about this very character driven horror comedy. Through the magic of the interwebs (thanks Twitter!) I was able to connect with the film's writer and he obliged with a request for a screener copy. So is the film any good? A resounding 'Hell yes!' from this humble little corner of the blog-o-sphere.

Ken Boyd (Kevin Corrigan) is what many would call a loser. He's a thirty something who's recently been released from the loony bin after a failed attempt at suicide. He's also landed a job at the local ice cream parlor (much to the reluctance of the establishment's owner). To top it all off, Ken is the constant recipient of snide remarks courtesy of his roommate: his mother (played with a bit of relish by Ms. Karen Black). Despite all that, Ken is a pretty talented comic book artist. So what drove this man to want to commit suicide? Years prior, he drew a book which mocked his high school basketball team. The 'perfect' guys at school. They banded together to teach Ken a lesson, taking turns taunting and shaming him in an old abandoned house.

Despite his awkwardness and aversion to really socialize with anyone, Ken continues on, practicing his craft, working at his measly and unappreciative day job and he even catches the eye of a cute blond. However, just when you think he's back to having some sort of semblance of a normal life, we see his drawings and just how violent they are. Is this his way of expressing his emotions or is he the one involved in a series of murders that involve the former members of the local high school basketball team?

To complicate matters further, his young daughter has entered the picture, wanting to meet her real daddy as she's found out that mom has been less than truthful about his history and whereabouts. Ken is at first incredibly awkward and unsure of how to act around her. But he slowly comes around and the two begin to form a bond. There's real heart and warmth here, despite how goofy and awkward Ken is. Despite all of his anxiety, awkwardness and just plain weirdness, the guy is a decent enough man who knows he should be more open to relationships but just doesn't know how to (a funny scene occurs when the daughter has a mock date with him and he doesn't have any clue what to do).

But it's all ready to come crashing down when the body count continues to pile up and Ken finds himself in the wrong place at the wrong time. All these years of being locked up and consumed by his hatred, letting it spill out on the page when he draws, being released and then finally seeing the light of day, is he so consumed by his hate that revenge is now the order of the day? Or is it someone else? Someone closer to him whom no one suspects.

Some Guy Who Kills People is a horror film with a lot of heart. There is a decent amount of gore soaked goodness here for sure. But the real achievement is the rich story and really hilarious, deadpan, gallows humor. I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the performance of the great Barry Bostwick who plays the town's sheriff and love interest of Boyd's mom. He almost steals the show and his one liners are a thing of beauty.

For more information about the film, check out its website: http://someguywhokillspeople.com/index.html
While you're there, I encourage you to sign up for the email newsletter so you can stay up-to-date on the film's release and (hopefully) VOD availability. This one is not to miss folks!

Cortez the Killer

Kill List (2011)

2012-01-19T19:03:00.000-08:00

Fear 3/5
Gore 4/5

Entertainment 5/5

Creepiness 4/5

Kill List is an utterly shocking film and one that will swirl around in your head for days as you try to figure out the meaning of it all. It's essentially a film with three sections that play out in succession with just a bit of interconnectedness to hold everything together and not make it feel like one big mess. I imagine (and hope) this is a genre film that will be talked about quite a bit once it gets a more widespread release.

Meet Jay. He is a retired special forces member or at least that is what he'd rather have you believe. Apparently, a botched assignment led to an early exit along with his best friend Sam. He's had a hard time readjusting to normal life, getting back to being a husband and father to his beautiful wife and young son. Tensions are soon seen within the family as money issues are discussed and dad needs to find something else to bring in some much needed coin.

One night, Sam and his new girlfriend (a skinny, tall, dark-haired woman) come over for dinner with tensions between husband and wife already at a high. Friendly conversation soon gives way to an uncomfortable shouting match at the dinner table as money talk breaks out and the wife's bitterness towards her husband's former profession rings through. Husband and wife carry it over into the kitchen and Sam's new girl heads upstairs to compose herself as she's visibly shaken. Sam then takes Jay out to the garage to cool off. There, he tells him that they both need to get back into 'the game.' What game is that exactly? Jay and Sam were actually contract killers. After a little prodding, Jay agrees and it's off to see a man about a job. But before we get to that, the new love interest of Sam draws a strange symbol in the upstairs bathroom.

The next day, the contract killing duo arrive at a sprawling mansion and upon entering the house, are instructed to meet the proprietor in his main study. Not much is said between the man and the pair but a hefty some of money is sent their way along with a list of people who need to be placed six feet under. No background is given on each one. All they have is a list. And so begins the life that Jay once knew and has chosen to throw himself back into: one that's on the road and away from his family.

After getting settled into a hotel which will become their base of operations, the nasty and sometimes brutal killings commence. The first being a priest who is taken out in his natural setting just as he enters his sacristy. The second, a child pornographer is assaulted in his home. Before Jay can deliver the death blow with a hammer, the man bizarrely smiles and acknowledges the fact that he knows what Jay is.

The pair continue on, going down the list with Jay as the main perpetrator and Sam as his driver. Being on the road begins to take a toll on Jay and it becomes obvious that things are not well back home. He becomes haunted by visions including the tall, dark-haired gal pal of Sam, standing across the street from his hotel one night. Is that really her he's seeing or is this latest job blurring the lines of reality?

Despite wanting to give up, they forge ahead with the last remaining kill being closer to Jay's home. Here is where the last act of our film goes completely fuck nuts crazy: the pair head out to the woods, seeking a strategic position to pick off their next target. After setting up camp, they see a parade of masked, torch bearing people. The group encircles a girl who is set to die by hanging. After interrupting the ceremony, Jay and Sam are chased by the group. I'll stop right here because I don't want to give the rest of the film away. What I will say is that the cult makes their way to Jay's home. Jay is lead back out to the field and one of the most shocking endings I've ever seen to a film takes place.

Simply put: you need to see and experience this film.

Kill List is currently available to rent via various VOD services. It's also in the middle of a limited theatrical run. I can't recommend this one enough. http://www.kill-list.com/

Cortez the Killer

Kidnapped (2010)

2012-01-17T17:39:00.000-08:00

Fear 5/5

Gore 4/5

Entertainment 5/5

Creepiness 2/5

Had I seen this film earlier, it probably would have been in my list of top 10 horror films of 2011 (it was released stateside last year despite being released in Spain in 2010). Frightening, brutal and all-too-real in a ripped from the headlines sort of way, Kidnapped focuses on a well-to-do family as they suffer through one night of total hell at the hands of masked men who've broken into their home. At first, it seems like they'll get out unscathed if they just listen to the men and their demands. But that notion becomes dispelled as things play out and we're exposed to some incredibly brutal and downright disheartening scenes.

The film begins with a man who's lying on the ground, bound and wearing a plastic bag over his head. At first, we presume him to be dead. But he soon gasps and manages to make it to his feet. What plays to such great effect in this scene is the fact that you're put on edge very early on in the proceedings. You find yourself asking 'What's happened to this man and how did he get there?' Limping along, he comes into contact with a passing motorist who lets him use his cellphone so that he can warn his family. After getting someone on the other end, he realizes that it's much too late.

We proceed on to our main story as a family (mom, dad, and daughter) begins their move into a new home, a large mansion that is located in a gated community. From the looks of it, dad is a successful businessman who has many valuables in his possession including some that he keeps hidden behind a safe. Despite the upscale nature of the family, they are still relate-able. Their first night in the new house, mom and dad want to spend some family time together but the teenage daughter wants nothing to do with them. She'd rather hang out with her friends instead of spending time with dear ol' mom and dad. After all, that's just so lame.

Plans for the evening are quickly derailed as three masked intruders break into the home through a side window. The occupants are rounded up and ordered to sit on the living room couch. The masked men promise that no one will get hurt as long as they do as they're told. The family obliges with their demands, forking over their cellphones and debit cards and pin numbers. After one of the masked men grabs dad and instructs him to drive to the nearest ATM, it seems like the whole ordeal will be over before dinner time.

Things unravel when dad becomes testy with the man who's driven him to the bank and a couple of people stop by the home to check on the family and they get caught up in the madness. First, a young man who's come by the house to pick up the teenage daughter followed then by the gated community's rent-a-cop. Bloodletting takes place after their arrivals but things take a markedly sharp turn for the worst with a vicious rape of the daughter. This action is followed up by a prompt one of retribution as she takes a decoration piece and uses the blunt object to smash her attacker's face in. Our story culminates with dad coming home only to be faced with far more worries. A bloody standoff takes place which will absolutely suck the life out of you.

This isn't a happy one folks. Despite the family's detachment from about 99% of the rest of the population (not trying to make a political reference here, but you get the idea), in all meaningful home invasion flicks, you still want to see the captives make it out alive. Kidnapped is one gut punching film and it will leave you feeling breathless and empty.

Cortez the Killer

True Nature (2010)

2012-01-12T17:00:00.000-08:00

Fear 4/5

Gore 2/5

Entertainment 5/5

Creepiness 3/5

True Nature is a fantastic thriller. A thriller who's true horror lies within the revelation of a broken family unit. A family so morally bankrupt, so oblivious to their actions that it almost costs them the life of their daughter. When their daughter goes missing and then inexplicably comes back after all presume her to be dead, mom and dad carry on as if nothing ever happened. The latter is exposed for the sellout he truly is. And eventually, all hell breaks loose.

Our story begins with the meeting of the incredibly rich and well-to-do Pascal family. Dad is a high powered business man, shrewd but flawed in that he's just made a really bad and shady business decision. Mom is completely controlling over her student athlete daughter, wanting her to act and be a certain way. She's entirely dismissive of her relationship of her boyfriend and wants her to have absolutely nothing to do with him. How this young woman has survived for so long in a controlling, manipulative and dishonest family is anyone's guess.

Just after the father's shady business dealings and subsequent disappointment with people who, quite frankly, shouldn't be disappointed or crossed, our daughter mysteriously goes missing while on a late night run. She isn't seen for over a year until she shows up late one night on the family's doorstep, visibly bruised and scarred. After a few days of trying to adjust, it's right back to the life she knew before. But some internal affects are soon revealed.

Dad is still the ever busy business man. With the daughter trying to reintegrate back into a 'normal' life, it's dear old mom she has to deal with on a day in and day out basis. Mom is still the ever controlling force and she does not want her to reunite with her boyfriend at all. But it's mom's complete obliviousness to the fact that something is 'off' about her daughter that makes things so infuriating. She so wants her daughter to reintegrate back into this life, to so easily be submissive to her wants and desires in terms of how she should behave and live her life that she completely misses the fact that something is deeply wrong with her. At first, we see the daughter as she sleeps at night, a believed to be supernatural presence looms over her as she does. It soon becomes apparent that this entity is more a representation of her fractured and damaged psyche. One that knows full well what dear old dad did and one that can't take another moment of an overbearing and unconcerned mother.

And she begins to push back. At first through words but then through action. Literally, as vengeance is the order of the day and bloody and brutal it turns out to be. The chicken has come home to roost.

The real-life horrors presented in True Nature is what makes it so compelling. Instead of her family looking out for her and protecting her, dad basically sold her up the river and mom could have cared less about whatever was affecting her emotionally when she came back and tried to reintegrate. A fantastic job by the filmmakers to ensure there wasn't a sympathetic bone in our bodies for the husband and wife when the bloodletting commenced. It's these types of films that provide the best horror: the ones rooted in reality.

For more information about the film, check out it's website: www.TrueNatureTheFilm.com

Cortez the Killer

Final Destination 5 (2011)

2012-01-10T16:15:00.000-08:00

Fear 1/5

Gore 5/5

Entertainment 5/5

Creepiness 0/5

If you've seen any of the films in the series, then you've seen this one. Oh but there's a 'twist' on how you can really confuse Mr. Scythe Bearing Deathy Pants. And a neat-o scene at the end that references the first film.

It also contains one of the best death scenes in a horror film from the past year. Bummer on the dismount!

The End.

Cortez the Killer

Rage (2010)

2012-01-06T16:57:00.000-08:00

Fear 2/5

Gore 3/5

Entertainment 5/5

Creepiness 0/5

Confession time: I don't always like a film the first time I watch it. Such is the case with Rage. Upon first viewing, I felt like the filmmakers didn't know what they wanted it to be. Is it a thriller? Is it pseudo-grind house? The acting in parts was awful and the soundtrack was grating. I was ready to give this a scathing review. But for some reason, I decided to re-watch it, compelled by the ending which I perceived to be, quite frankly, bullshit. Had I actually missed something? Upon said re-watch, it dawned on me. I caught on to the dark humor and the overall point to the madness. Enough of my blabbering, on to the review!!!

Meet Dennis. He's a squirly, meek-ish, mouse of a dude. A struggling writer who can't come to terms with the fact that his wife is the main bread winner. Despite her support of him (both monetarily and career-wise) he felt compelled to pump his man seed into another woman. After promising to go in to town and get her 'something nice', he instead heads in to break things off with his fling. A moment of hilarity ensues as the French-y accented woman tells him he basically had no issues with putting his purple mushroom into her axe wound and he's one no good jackhole for breaking her heart. Upon exiting stage left, he notices a leather clad, dark helmeted, crotch rocket riding dude trailing him as he heads out of the down town area.

And from here on out it's a cat and mouse game. Dennis is trailed by the biker, taunted and even comes into direct contact with his car as the biker scrapes the side of it. Initially blown off as just another douchey roadster, irritated indifference soon turns into full on paranoia. Before he heads completely out of town, he has a lunch date with his buddy. After recounting the whole break-up and talking about his tremendous guilt, he heads back out and is still trailed by the biker. He takes shelter in a nearby parking garage, hoping the biker would pass up and leave him be. Upon dozing off and waking up, he finds the biker nowhere to be seen and decides to head home.

After getting home and making up an excuse to his wife as to why he was gone for so long and why he has a welt on his forehead (from slamming on the breaks and hitting the steering wheel after one close encounter), he heads upstairs to indulge in some whiskey and a nice, hot, warm bubble bath. What guys doesn't do this?

As you can imagine, Mr. Biker shows up at his residence and it's all downhill from here. Thriller turns into home invasion and Mr. Biker exacts one mean, brutal and vicious plot. Just to back up for a minute, Dennis thought the whole time that the boyfriend of the dumped girlfriend was after him and throughout this entire affair he tried to frantically call her to get him to call the dogs off. After a brutal scene in a bedroom with him and his wife, the still helmeted biker sets his sights on an annoying neighbor and his wife. Here's where dark humor and faux-grindhouse comes in: the elderly wife dials the wrong number to 911, chainsaw deaths are dispensed left and right and the entire affair wasn't perpetrated by a pissed off ex. It was....well, you'll just have to see.

As mentioned, what initially bothered me about the film was that I felt like it didn't know what it wanted to be. Moving from thriller to grind house-y, coupled with goofy dialogue and a Lifetime movie of the week soundtrack, I asked myself 'What the hell is this?' But after that re-watch, I thought to myself it must have been all by design. At least I think so. Regardless, this is one to watch. If it made me want to re-watch it, (keeping in mind the scores of crap I watch) that has to to say something.

Cortez the Killer

Hostel III (2011)

2012-01-04T17:47:00.000-08:00

Fear 2/5

Gore 4/5

Entertainment 4/5

Creepiness 2/5

I had absolutely no desire to see this. No Eli Roth + straight to DVD = a sure to be disaster. Then a funny thing happened on the way to the bank. Respected horror critic after respected horror critic (and some assholes who illegally downloaded a copy of the film before it was released), said it wasn't half that bad. Entertaining even. Well, lack of desire turned to curiosity in about 2.5 seconds and after watching the film, I'm glad I did because it was a hoot!

Bringing the Elite Hunting organization stateside, Hostel III sees a group of guys celebrating their buddy's impending nuptials via a wild and crazy bachelor party weekend in Sin City. Toning down the irritating characters (especially the ugly Americans in part I), this sequel sees us identifying a bit with this group of guys. Sure, they want to take part in the requisite debauchery that is a part of this ritual. But they are a normal group of guys and their depictions are such that they're probably not too far off from friends that you may call your own.

Anywhos, it's not long before they come into contact with a pair of penile uplifting hottie boom botties. They tell them about a super awesome private party that you can only attend if you're 'in the know.' Of course they're thinking with their lower extremities guys and immediately jump at the chance. They cab it out to the locale which is located down a dark alley. This can't be good. But just when you think it's a set-up for what will be the trapping of these lads and subsequent sale of them to the highest bidder, it's actually all a planned party for our bachelor, the girls being strippers and in on the whole gag.

So the boys get to partying with the ladies and go a little too overboard. Drink after drink is consumed, some pass out, some attempt to make boom boom with the ladies. Other people are watching with vested interest and are keeping a close tab on that night's proceedings. The group wakes up the next morning only to find them minus one: a broheim has gone missing. Texts are exchanged just like in prior films and the text-ers lure them to a secret compound.

The film follows suit just like the first two in terms of one of the friends escaping and surviving the whole affair. But there are a couple of interesting things going on that make this one different than prior installments. First, instead of the hunting club members just killing them in gruesome ways (there is still plenty of that), there are viewers behind a one way glass mirror, placing bets on the whole thing. What are they betting on exactly? Why things like 'When will the victim cry about having a wife and kids?' Or 'How many arrows from a fired crossbow will it take to kill them?' Pretty fucked up and it adds a neat-o twist to the whole demented affair. Second, is the main twist itself as the boys learn....well, I don't want to spoil the whole thing for you now, do I?

If you're on the fence about Hostel III, don't be any longer. It's a lot of fun and interesting enough that I'm actually intrigued to see where they take this series next. Well done Mr. Scott Spiegel, well done indeed.

Cortez the Killer

The Top 10 BEST Horror Films of 2011

2011-12-28T17:18:00.000-08:00

I think 2011 was another great year for our beloved genre. Even theatrically released films offered a glimmer of hope and made us think that maybe, just maybe, the remake train was slowing down. OK, that may not be happening just quite yet but if anything there were some positives to take from what was being rolled out in multiplexes.

Indie films continued to be where it's at: pushing boundaries, challenging conventions and putting new spins on some tired tropes. This year may prove to be even better than last in terms of quality content and the number of films which were picked up by well-known distributors.

It was extremely difficult to narrow it down to just 10. There are lots of honorable mentions that are just as much worthy of your time and attention. Without further ado, here are my top 10 best horror films from the past year.

Note: not all of these films were released this year as some were just made available stateside or they are still awaiting distribution.

10. The Bleeding House

A family looking to start anew in a small town out in the middle of Nowheresville, USA, is slowly revealed to be harboring some dark secrets. Initially, not a whole lot is known about what it is they're actually hiding. But everything is brought out into the open when an unexpected visitor, sporting some white threads from head to toe and speaking in a distinct southern drawl, comes knocking on their door. At first unassuming and charming, he soon reveals his true nature and intentions. The Bleeding House is a great psychological/home invasion thriller.

9. Fugue

A woman having recently been released from the hospital and into the care of her husband, finds herself having nightmarish visions and a supernatural haunt that doesn't want her in the new home they just moved into. This spirit becomes more and more aggressive towards her as it becomes enraged daily by her continued presence. But things move from the supernatural to the very real as we learn what actually happened to the woman and how she became injured. 'Inside' levels of brutality are unleashed as the film reaches its nerve racking climax.

8. Black Death

Set to the backdrop of the Bubonic Plague, Black Death tells the story of a young monk, tasked with leading a group of mercenaries out to the English countryside to investigate claims of a necromancer rising the dead. Along the way they have to contend with rogues which are far less of a nuisance than what they'll ultimately encounter. Upon reaching a village, they come into contact with a beautiful enchantress and come under the same spell that she's placed on it. A test of faith ensues between all, clergy and mercs alike. And just when they think they've gained the upper hand and won, it appears that she's badly skewed their perception of reality. This is one fantastic slab of gothic horror.

7. TrollHunter

TrollHunter is proof positive that the found footage/faux documentary style of filmmaking can still be fun, fresh and inventive. A group of documentary filmmakers set out to document bear killings in the Norwegian countryside. Little do they know that the actions are all a part of a coverup. They come into contact with a man who is believed to have more information about what's going on. But he soon describes the true reason of his work: to keep the world from knowing about the existence of Trolls. Some jaw dropping CGI on display here and it's remarkable for such a low budget affair. Overall, TrollHunter is a lot of fun and a sure-to-be cult classic.

6. Insidious

Finally, a haunted house film that's actually scary. A young boy is found to be unconscious by his family one morning and despite a myriad of tests, the doctors can't pinpoint the cause of his comatose state. His house appears to be under some sort of supernatural attack but how and why his home (and him in particular) is such a focal point makes for an interesting take on this well-worn sub-genre. A genuinely scary film with one of the best soundtracks to grace a horror film in recent memory.

5. Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil

Taking the 'Kids go out into the cabin in the middle of the woods' trope and completely twisting it around, Tucker and Dale is now one of my all-time favorite horror comedies. A group of kids head out to a cabin and become creeped out by of a pair of hillbilly buddies who live nearby. When one of their friends goes missing, they become prime suspects. But all they want to do is fish and drink beer and in the case of the fatter of the two, he wants to find true love. Hilarity ensues as the kids go on a rescue mission and actually become their own worst enemies and each one of them meets their untimely demise by their own hands. Tucker and Dale is laugh out loud funny. And it has plenty of gore and grue to boot.

4. Ghost From The Machine (AKA Phasma Ex Machina)

A young man, still incredibly consumed by the death of his parents, becomes obsessed with bringing them back from the dead. So much so, that he spends his days and nights devising a machine that will do so. Despite losing the affections and attention of the remaining loved ones that support him, he persists with his singular goal. After many failed attempts, he finds success and starts bringing other spirits back, ones he did not intend on. In the heartbreaking process, he learns that not all things are meant to have another life. One of the most emotional horror films I've seen all year.

3. The Innkeepers

Another haunted house film that's actually scary, The Innkeepers focuses on two hotel employees who are seeking to document the existence of a residential haunt on the last weekend of business for the storied establishment. Not much is captured at first, but the haunt soon reveals itself both in creepy voice and in form. A new age-mystic type staying for the weekend confirms the haunt via a trance as well as its true intentions. Some well timed humor and jump scares, The Innkeepers is another fantastic film from one of my favorite new-er directors, Ti West.

2. The Bunny Game

This is the film that A Serbian Film wishes it could be: brutal, unrelenting but with (ultimately) a point. The film starts off with documenting a sort of 'day in the life of' a hooker on the streets of Los Angeles. From drugging up, to selling her services, to stopping briefly just to eat something before she self-medicates again, this is a picture painted of a vicious cycle. She eventually comes into contact with a truck driver who instantly drugs her and takes her out to the California desert where he proceeds to torture and completely shame her. A totally exhaustive experience (not just for the onscreen participant but also the viewer), it's eventually revealed that there is a purpose for the truck driver's madness. The most physically draining and burned into my brain horror film I've seen all year.

1. Absentia

A film that fantastically combines both the supernatural and the surreal, Absentia will be heavy in my re-watch rotation for years to come. A woman decides to stop the search efforts for her husband after years of looking for him with nary a trace, sign or reason for his disappearance. No one knows why he suddenly up and left one day. Moving into her home is her kid sister, a recovering addict who's looking to start over. On the kid sister's morning jogs, she makes her way through a tunnel which runs underneath a freeway and out to another thoroughfare. It's soon revealed that something inhabits the tunnel and has long pulled lives into its grasp. And when the woman's husband unexpectedly re-appears, after the point he's declared legally dead, this thing comes looking for him. Part supernatural thriller, part Lovecraftian monster tale, Absentia is a unique and classic piece of filmmaking.

Honorable mentions:

- I Didn't Come Here to Die
- Long Pigs
- Dream Home
- The Tunnel
- The Last Circus
- Scream 4
- Skew
- Exhibit A
- Undocumented
- Hobo With A Shotgun
- Paranormal Activity 3
- A Horrible Way to Die
- Kiss The Abyss

Cortez the Killer

The Innkeepers (2011)

2011-12-23T13:48:00.000-08:00

Fear 5/5

Gore 2/5

Entertainment 5/5

Creepiness 5/5

Rounding out my top 'must-see' list of 2011, The Innkeepers, alongside Insidious, is one of the best haunted house films released within the past decade. I hope a resurgence is coming within this sub-genre. If this film as well as the aforementioned are any indication, it is one still rife with fresh ideas and plenty of new ways to make us freak out about thumps and bumps in the night.

Claire and Luke are the caretakers of the Yankee Pedlar Inn, a storied hotel in a small, quaint, town. The pair are just as essential and vital to the story as the haunt for which the inn is known for. Luke is determined to get video evidence of the ghost, a woman who hung herself years ago on her wedding day when the groom ditched her at the altar. Claire is along for the ride and equally as eager (if a little skeptical). But their time is limited. You see, the inn is closing and the weekend is all the time that they have left.

At first, the only guests are a woman and her son, staying for a few days after a marital spat. But then a couple of interesting characters show. First, an old TV actress who's now a new age mystic-type. Claire is fond of her and instantly star struck. Later, another guest (an old man) pays for one night and insists on a particular room despite the fact that it's on a floor that's in the process of being torn down with rooms that are now very bare bones.

The pair conduct their ghostly investigations nightly and don't capture much at first. The inn, just like all great haunted house films, is a character unto itself. The classic kind, like the Overlook or the asylum in Session 9, one which adds just as much to the proceedings as the actual haunt and cast of characters themselves. Things soon get going as the requisite bumps and thumps are experienced and Claire begins to have terrifying nightmares. Or are they?

Claire seeks the guidance of the mystic and she in turn reaches out to the spirit to find out just what it is that they want. And it's not a happy message that's received as multiple spirits are revealed. Despite her warnings of not venturing into the basement of the inn, Claire and Luke do so anyways and come face to face with the inn's main attraction. Our film ends tragically as the spirit exacts her deadly revenge and makes it known, that, even though the doors are closing to the inn for good, she'll always be around.

With charming, funny and engaging characters, The Innkeepers is sure to be a classic entry into the haunted house sub-genre. Filmmaker Ti West is phenomenal at creating tension and pulling off genuine scares and they are in number here. Along with that, his slow burn approach is utilized here as well to great effect. I can't say enough about it and I'm glad I was able to see it before the year closed out.

You can check out The Innkeepers on various VOD services beginning on Dec. 30th.

Cortez the Killer

The Top 10 WORST Horror Films of 2011

2011-12-20T17:46:00.000-08:00

I can't believe that I've never, in the history of this interweb-o-sphere blog, ever put together a list of worst horror films of the year. Crazy right? Especially considering the plethora of crap I've had to endure for your mild amusement.

These aren't oh-so-bad they're good films. Nary a redeemable quality is to be found. Even the most avid of fans would have a tough time sitting through these stinkfests. They're the types of films that give you a case of tourettes for an hour and a half or so. Films you only watch if maybe you're a masochist, lover of root canals, or enjoy-er of mud runs. In the nude. I suppose that's worse for a man than a woman. I digress.

Some of these weren't released this year as they're just now getting distribution (in the case of one, it was made in 2007!!). Without further ado, here are the top 10 ten worst, you-should-NOT-see-these-under-any-circumstances, horror films of the year.

10. Re-Cut

2011 was the year of the found footage flick on this here blog. I saw a ton of them. Most of them were bad. Consider Re-Cut one of the worst.

A pair of student filmmakers drag a local news reporter out to a small town and farm that has a checkered past. Despite many a 'don't go there' warnings, they head to the farm and find a creepy school room with scripture passages written on the walls. Is it a cult? Some sort of whacked out Jesus loving freaks a la Red State? After a long and unbelievably dull affair, it's nothing but a pair of overall wearing, drunken rednecks. Lame-o-matic.

9. The Absent

A slasher that doesn't get to slashing until the 2nd act. A brother who's estranged twin is back after years of being locked up in the cuckoo house for killing his mother and stepfather (for reasons undisclosed). Non-wacko brother, who's a teacher at a local high school, sees his students get picked off one by one. Said students are plug and play and of the garden variety. Teacher brother and wacko brother are revealed to be one in the same! Zzzzzzzzzzzz........

8. I Spit On Your Grave

Completely ignoring what made the original so great and not creating any real tension or drama, this is the worst remake I saw this year.

7. The Perfect House

The Perfect House is an anthology film that contains absolutely no point to any of its stories, the thinnest of motives behind each serial killer tale, along with some of the most unintelligible dialogue from any film I've seen this year. Truly godawful in every way possible.

6. Kids Go To The Woods....Kids Get Dead

The name says it all. This is every horror cliche you've ever seen times a gajillion. A GAJILLION I SAY! Why do filmmakers continue to make films like this?

5. A Serbian Film (aka Srpksi Film)

CONTROVERSY! This film has absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever. It's not artistic. There is no underlying meaning or theme here to be found. This is an exploitation flick being 'sold' to you as art. Never mind the fact that the situation of our lead is never really painted to be that dire that he needed to revert back to an extreme form of his old ways just to put food on the table. A vile, terrible, irredeemable piece of work.

4. The Haunted Casino

A group of college age kids travel out to Sin City to renovate an old casino that was left to one of them in a will. They find out that it's haunted. By two spirits (Sid Haig and Michael Berryman collecting paychecks) who claim to be owed a treasure that was stolen from them by the uncle of the kid who inherited the joint. Why the fuck would two spirits give a shit about some lost treasure? Why should you give two shits about this film? Exactamente!

3. Ninjas vs. Vampires

No explanation needed.

2. The Haunting at The Beacon

A mourning-the-loss-of-their-young-son couple move into an old apartment complex and soon find it to be haunted. A paper mache'd masked being (no, I'm not kidding) that resembles a bastardized version of Pinhead roams the hallways. An odd cast of characters live in the complex including a bizarre superintendent. The film never really gets to a point with no less than three subplots running at any given time. You get bored to tears. Everyone in the building is revealed to be mythical demons. The end.

1. Creature

Completely uninspired and riddled with cliches, Creature isn't just bad because it fantastically failed at the box office. It contains trite characters that have been done 1,000 times over, a local 'legend' that is much to close to comfort to the one in Hatchet, and it also contains some of the worst editing I've ever seen in a film (hello really bad 'I can't tell what the hell happened' ending). Not to mention, the vast majority of kills occur off screen. To top off this shit sandwich with a rotten olive, the filmmaker was a big ol' baby and lashed out at us eCritics despite the fact that he proactively doled out screeners like dollar bills at a strip joint (click here for details).

(Dis)honorable mentions:

- Daylight
- Sweatshop
- The Ward
- Wake The Witch
- Respire

Cortez the Killer

Chillerama (2011)

2011-12-17T07:30:00.000-08:00

Fear 0/5

Gore 4/5

Entertainment 2/5

Creepiness 0/5

Chillerama is an anthology horror film and despite the level of talent associated with it, it's pretty mediocre. And it contains one of the worst anthology segments I've ever seen.

Our wrap around story involves the projectionist at a local drive-in theater who decides to dig up the rotting corpse of his ex-wife. He does so and before he can defile the body, she bites down on his no-no area and his groin begins to bleed profusely. This can't be good. He has to work in an hour!

Showing up at work, we learn that it's the last night of business for this beloved local spot. Despite his bleeding and some strange ooze coming out of his man region, he fires up the projector. On with the show!

Our first story involves a man who has some bedroom performance issues. His good doctor, gives him an experimental serum that's supposed to increase mail hormone production. But instead of doing just that, anytime he sees a woman and is arosed, his man parts go all haywire and a single, mutated, large teeth sporting super sperm grows and needs to be subsequently 'released.' After properly disposing of one of the mutated sperm, he has no luck with the second and it goes on a rampage through town. Some OK b-movie goodness here (Eric Roberts popping up in a brief cameo) with a jizz soaked ending to boot. Not great, just kinda 'meh.'

*Full disclosure before I get into the 2nd segment. I fucking loathe musicals. Like I'd rather jam a 12 inch. dildo into my ear hole than sit through one.*

The 2nd story involves a teenage boy who's a well regarded student athlete and who also happens to be harboring a secret: he's gay. While out on a school retreat, he comes into contact with a biker gang of gay werewolves. They bite him, he becomes one, and endless upon endless musical numbers that are grating and totally unfunny are performed. As a matter of fact, the whole of this segment isn't funny or entertaining in the slightest. It was enough to take me out of the experience and make me wish this thing was over already. It was that bad.

The film limps onward to the next segment, the best of them all (this really should have been released as a short film). Adam Green's segment, The Diary of Anne Frankenstein is a hoot, hilarious from start to finish. Hitler finds Anne Frankenstein's memoirs which contain the experiments of her grandfather. Hitler uses them to create a super soldier but instead, he unwittingly builds a super Jew! Hilarity ensues during a final standoff.

The film concludes with the wrap around segment. The projectionist's ooze infects the patrons and they all become sex crazed zombies. Some decent gore here but this too drags on and after about the 3rd or 4th zombie rape scene, it just became too much. Chillerama is a decent enough idea but overall, just really terrible execution.

Cortez the Killer

Daylight (2010)

2011-12-14T10:30:00.000-08:00

Fear 0/5

Gore 2/5

Entertainment 1/5

Creepiness 0/5

In the history of this blog, I don't think I've ever read a synopsis quite like this. One which makes me exclaim (after watching the actual film) 'This totally does not deliver on what it promises.'

'A harrowing psychological thriller from a widely acclaimed filmmaker, Daylight pits a couple lost in America against a conniving gang of kidnappers, in David Barker's rigorous and personal re-imagining of the genre film. Despite its familiar genre elements, Daylight is different - a powerful, shocking piece of vigorous cinema, which fuses eroticism and tenderness with the harrowing weight of pregnancy and kidnapping. On their way to a wedding, Danny and Irene pick up a hitchhiker - throwing the film in the direction of the conventional rural kidnapper thriller. But with the skill of director David Barker and his miraculous cast and crew, Daylight emerges as much, much more than just another exploitation picture. Kidnappers Renny, Leo, and Murphy enact a bizarre and terrifying ritual of politeness, endowing such scenes as the passing of a bread knife at a kitchen table with a threat of ferocious violence - but also trust...'

Daylight is anything but what the synopsis would have you believe. It's an exercise in futility, an ultimately pointless affair not worthy of your time or attention.

Our film centers around a young European couple who are visiting the good ol' U-S-of-A, driving through the American countryside while on their way out to a family wedding. We are treated to some vague inner monologue from the pregnant wife as she asks herself if she's married the wrong man. Talking to her husband aloud, she reassures him that he has nothing to worry about when they get to the festivities and he has to have a talk with her father. Why he's nervous is never fully explained.

So this couple (a presumably well-to-do one based on their Aston Martin rental), decides to stop and pick up a complete stranger walking along the roadside. The couple, and let's assume they've never driven through the American countryside before, decides to play the good Samaritan to a scruffy man wearing a mechanic's shirt. Logic gap aside, you can guess what happens next.

The stranger takes them by knife point out to a secluded house where there are two other men waiting. Our lead kidnapper immediately wants to kill the husband but his buddy or brother (relationships between the men are never fully explained) convinces him to spare his life as maybe he has some money. The husband responds that he does and that if one of them drives him out to their original destination, that by weekend's end, they'll have a sizable amount of money in their bank account. So after a little back and forth between the three men, they agree to let the man (who convinced the sparing of the husband's life) drive them out to meet up with the family.

After the man takes the husband out to meet up with members of his family, they hole themselves up in a nearby motel until one of the relatives shows up with the money. The remainder of our film involves the other two men and a lot of trite, superficial and exhausting dialogue between them and the wife. And nothing actually happens. No genuine tension is built. There is a little bit of feigned sexual tension but nothing ever feels on the verge of erupting. The wife, never really seems to feel all that scared or frightened and perpetually has an expressionless look. I don't know if it was the acting or the way the character was written. But it adds no depth or weight to the character and her situation whatsoever. And to really 'sell' a film like this, you have to empathize and fear for the life that's growing inside. At no point in the film did I care about any of the characters and the wife's dense and emotionless state certainly didn't help things.

So anyways, she uses mechanic guy's bizarre fascination with her pregnancy against him and in the only moment of real horror kills him. And here is where the film completely falls apart with one of the worst endings I've ever seen: she escapes the home despite the other brother (or friend) still being alive and he does nothing to stop her. No resolution is given as to what exactly happened to her husband who was tied up in the motel. And we're left with a final scene of her giving birth. That's it.

This film was absolutely exhaustive and not in a good way. It was completely devoid of any emotion, suspense, or true moments of horror. Any film that has to deal with kidnapping or home invasion must have those elements. Sadly, this film does not and it feels completely and utterly pointless.

Cortez the Killer

The Last Circus -- AKA Balada Triste de Trompeta (2010)

2011-12-06T16:56:00.001-08:00

Fear 2/5
Gore 3/5
Entertainment 5/5
Creepiness 4/5

Well the year is winding down kiddos and I'm crossing the last remaining films off of my 'must-see' list. Cross another one off with the well received horror/dark comedy feature The Last Circus. Extremely bizarre but ultimately heartbreaking, it tells the story of a do-gooder, life-as-a-performing-clown guy, who wants nothing more than to carry on the family legacy and entertain little children.

Our film begins with a bit of history, featuring the sideshow antics of two clowns as they're entertaining kids literally in the middle of war as the Franco regime is in full swing in Spain during the 1930's. Their show is interrupted as a man is recruited by the rebel army himself, clown costume, face paint and all, given a gun and asked to storm a stronghold along with a group of other soldiers. With no choice but to comply and unleash his own clownish hell, he becomes a legend, defying the work of Franco's army but ultimately coming under capture.

His son, through it all, is unwavering in his devotion to his father. But the imprisoned father instructs him to strike out and make a life of his own, carrying out the tradition of the family as a performing clown. But there's only one problem: he's not very funny and due to the ordeals he's faced thus far in life, he is not properly equipped to play the role of the funny clown. Rather, he must play the role of its opposite, the sad clown which is meant to always be a sidekick but never the star of the show.

Fast forward a few years, and now we see the young man (named Javier) as he's taken the job of the sad clown with a local traveling circus. He comes under the instruction of a man that plays the role of the happy clown, with a lot of relish and bravado along with a mean hand. He's very particular about his act and he expects all to follow his way or to hit the highway. Javier, being the subservient type that he is, obliges and pledges his allegiance to him and the group at large.

Things for Javier soon come into question as he falls for the funny clown's girlfriend, a beautiful woman who's an artist of the high flying type. The funny clown is revealed to be a ruthless bastard in real life as well, a hardcore drunkard who flies off the handle at a moment's notice and has no qualms when it comes to putting his woman in check and throwing her across a room. Despite the fact that she knows it's a bad fit, she's addicted to the sex and spontaneity of her abusive boyfriend but has a soft spot for Javier, his kindness and the feeling of security that comes with being around him.

So by this time you're probably thinking to yourself 'What the hell does this have to do with horror?' Well Javier snaps one day, takes a musical instrument to the abusive happy clown's face and beats him so badly, that a miracle at the hands of the circus' animal doctor saves him and puts his face back together. Javier goes into hiding for awhile but eventually comes into contact with the same men who kept his father captive and a bit of vengeance is extracted. In the end, he eventually comes back into contact with the performer he'd fallen for. But a tragic ending occurs when he duels the disfigured boyfriend who refuses to relinquish his stranglehold on the woman.

Quirky, insane, funny, horrific, but ultimately entertaining, The Last Circus is a phenomenal piece of cinema. It has a lot of heart despite it's Greek-like tragedy quality and a not so happy ending.

You can currently check out the film via Netflix's streaming feature.

Cortez the Killer

Atrocious (2010)

2011-12-01T15:46:00.001-08:00

Fear 3/5
Gore 2/5
Entertainment 2/5
Creepiness 3/5

Are you getting tired of reading reviews for found footage flicks? Well I'm not tired of watching them (not yet at least). So I hope you're not getting too burnt out. I promise this is the last review of the year to feature this style of film and more reviews for other types of films are in the pipeline. I can definitively say that 2011 is the year of the found footage flick. I think the total tally now is 17?! But I digress.

Atrocious starts similar to other films of this ilk: a pair of teens, a brother and sister, beg their parents to take them out to their old countryside home in search of an urban legend, hoping to document its existence. After much poking and prodding, the initially reluctant parents relent and come to admit that it'd be good to get away for awhile.

So as the legend goes, the young woman who haunts the countryside is either an angel sent to help guide you out of the woods if you're lost or a devil that shows you the wrong way out. Essentially, the path to your demise. She approaches you from behind and emits a soft whisper into your ear to gain your attention. Nicely dressed, the lost traveler immediately comes under her spell and can't help but follow her guide.

The family make their way out and quickly settle in. Dad leaves soon upon arrival as works comes a calling. Along with their younger brother and family dog, the pair of teens venture out into the surrounding woods and they find that the property is close to an intricate hedgerow of trees, a maze which they find themselves easily lost in. But because it's daylight, they eventually make their way out but not before they mark certain landmarks with chalk so they can find their way out when not much light is available.

The early goings of the film are long and drawn out as the pair of teens explore the area only to find nothing but a dried up well. Some creepy moments occur at night as the camera is left turned on and pointed out the window, focused on the driveway and the pathway that leads out to the maze. The dog, clearly having focused its attention on something, barks and paces nervously at the edge of the pathway.

Things pick up when the siblings play back some of their video and see a brief glimpse of a dark figure in the woods. Things escalate further when the family dog goes missing that night and the pair find him dead, gutted and thrown into the bottom of the well. Frightened, they run back to the house but not before they get lost in the maze. Eventually, they find each other and make their way back to the house utilizing the chalk marks they drew earlier.

Here's where tensions and anxiety mount: the skeleton of their little brother is found in the fireplace and mom is nowhere to be found. Thumps and bumps on walls and across the floor spook them, sending the girl into the kitchen to hide in the pantry and the brother runs upstairs and locks himself in one of the bedrooms. After some pounding on his bedroom door, he eventually opens it and finds that the coast is clear. He heads back downstairs, finding blood in the kitchen and a gash across the basement door. He heads downstairs and into the heart of the basement and its revealed to him who's killed the family. I won't spoil it but let's just say the film moves from the supernatural to the very real. And it makes absolutely no sense. None. What. So. Ever.

It'd be easy to call this probably the worst moniker ever to grace a film, making it primed for ridicule but Atrocious has it's moments. It's just that the ending is not fitting whatsoever compared to the whole of film. And that my friends makes this one serious dud.

Cortez the Killer

Interview: Writer/Director Seve Schelenz, Skew

2011-11-29T16:17:00.001-08:00

When I say the words 'found footage', some of you might be instantly turned off. Even the most diehard of horror fiends will quickly scoff. So when I say that Skew is worth your time and attention, it isn't paint-by-numbers and it will melt your brain with its humdinger of an ending, well, I hope I've made you stand up and take notice. Once you peel back the layers, you'll see it's not the typical type of film seen within the sub-genre. And make no mistake, it has plenty of scares which will induce anxiety within the viewer. In fact, I'll put them up against the likes of Paranormal Activity and recent independent productions like The Tunnel.

The film itself features a trio of young kids who take a road trip out to a friend's wedding. Before you can say 'Haven't we seen this movie before?', one of the young men who's chosen to document the whole affair begins to see weird images through the lens of his video camera. Distorted faces are sported by seemingly normal people. If that wasn't enough, everything he turns his lens to meets an untimely demise.

I recently had an opportunity to interview writer/director Seve Schelenz. We talked about the idea behind the film, why it isn't your prototypical found footage flick, and what to expect next from the filmmaker. As you'll see, he's highly engaging and he actually encourages viewers to reach out to him to discuss the film.

Planet of Terror: What brought about the idea behind Skew? It’s obviously influenced by the foundfootage style of filmmaking. But theidea and philosophy behind it is wholly unique.

Seve Schelenz: In 2004 I put some thought into creating my firstfeature film. The one roadblock thatseemed to always come up was budget. I’dseen so many independent films that tried to be bigger than they could actuallyafford to be - essentially trying to look like a Hollywood film within ashoestring budget. I really felt thesemovies didn’t work in their attempt and the quality of the film removed me fromthe cinematic experience, therefore displacing me from the story andcharacters. During the summer of thesame year, a few days before a road trip with two other friends, the ideafinally hit me. How do I get aroundshooting a low budget film that will still be accepted by the audience? With avideo camera in hand for our road trip, the film’s concept instantly came tomind. I furiously wrote the first draftof the feature during the four days of the trip. Six months and a few drafts later, Icompleted the final version of the film. Years before Cloverfield, Paranormal Activity, and Diary of the Dead were even thoughts inHollywood producers’ minds, I looked to TheBlair Witch Project for inspiration. It had been five years since this style of found footage film had beensuccessfully created and I thought it was time for another one. The big difference was I didn’t want to be acopycat and make something that had already been done. So instead of using the camera as a gimmick,as most found footage films tend to do, I decided to go another direction. Without giving any spoilers away, let’s justsay that once you’ve seen Skew you’ll quickly realize it’sunlike any other found footage film you’ve seen. The reason why? Because it’s not actually a found footagefilm at all. It’s actually a narrativefeature that happens to be filmed in POV style from the video camera of one ofthe characters. Have fun, look for theclues and maybe you’ll figure it out.

POT: The end of thefilm sits with the viewer for a while and the ambiguity of it could be achallenge for some viewers. Withoutgiving anything away, is there more than one interpretation or is there reallyonly one way you see the film concluding?

Seve: This is afantastic question. Upon finishing thefirst draft of Skew I had two endings in mind for the film. I wrestled with them both until deciding uponthe one I thought would be best suited for this film. Not only did I not want the typical endingthe viewer would guess or had seen in so many other horror films, but I wantedto give proper respect to the audience and make Skew a thinking man’sfilm. Since completing the film andsending it out into the festival circuit I have had a few moments where I catchmyself thinking, “Wait a second, what about this kind of ending? Or this?” Yet, I inevitably go back to the one that exists in the film now andrealize it was the best choice. As awriter I think it’s important to know every aspect of your story and beaccountable for it. There are obviouslymany films where the writer has left the story hanging in the final scene tolet the audience make up its own mind in regards to the outcome. Sometimes these films work and sometimes theyfall pretty flat. In terms of Skew,I know exactly how it ends. There’s noambiguity or question in my mind as to the fate of our hero. Now having said that, the ending does openitself up to a few interpretations and I did leave it up to the viewer to decidehow they feel it ends. Yet if you takeall the clues that are presented to you in the film you will come up with theconclusion. On a related note, I havehad the great opportunity of personally screening Skew at severalfestivals. One of the little treats Ihave done at these venues is give the audience insight as to what my version ofthe ending entails. If any of yourreaders absolutely need to know, they are more than welcome to contact methrough YouTube or IMDb and I will answer any questions they have.

POT: Another question about the ending, I applaud you for it as it’s notneatly tied up in a nice bow and again, it's something that will sit with theviewer for a while. Were you at allconcerned with something that could be perceived as open-ended?

Seve: As mentioned, I debated about the ending of Skew for a while. I know that North American audiences are veryaccustomed to a certain formula or close-booked ending to a film. It seems like it’s so important for us asviewers/readers to know how something finishes otherwise we don’t feelsatisfied. I think we need to break thispattern sometimes and learn that not everything has to end the same formulaicway. When written well, a story shouldnot only take its audience along a journey but also allow them to think andpiece things together on their own. Weshouldn’t always be spoon-feed or told how to think. Otherwise every filmfollows the same formula and how boring and predictable is that?

POT: Boring and predictable indeed. So how has the film been received thus far?

Seve: Skew has been a real passion film for me. Written in 2004, shot in 2005, and finallycompleted in 2010. The film has been six years in the making. Upon completion of Skew I screened the filmwith a sales agent who, once the credits rolled, turned to me and said, “Thisis a slam dunk sale!” I was prettyexcited to hear that news. A few weekslater, he was headed to the AFM (American Film Market) to hopefully line up thesales. Well, one week before AFM alittle film entitled Paranormal Activitypremiered and took the weekend as the highest grossing low budget horror filmin history. We figured this was greatnews, as it would help to garner attention for Skew. Well, the opposite happened. Every production company and theirgrandmother had “found footage” horror trailers of films that didn’t even existat the Market and by the time distributors arrived at our table they didn’twant to hear any more about this type of film – even though ours was completeand ready to be bought! So Skewsat in limbo for almost six months before its world premiere at A Night of Horror International FilmFestival in Australia. From there itgained a little momentum and buzz as it started hitting some festivals in NorthAmerica. Nine months later Skewhas been burning up the festival circuit by premiering in 40 festivals. This combined with a sale to Netflix in theU.S. and DVD sales in Germany have given Skew a great run so far. We’ve also had some great reviews on the filmand you can check them out on the IMDb site.

POT: Tell me about your filmmaking influences, past, present or both.

Seve: I am very fortunate to have grown up in the 70s and 80s. These two decades are filled with some of thegreatest films ever: Star Wars, Indiana Jones, The Terminator,Jaws and Back To The Future are just a few that have had a huge impact onme. The writers and directors connectedto these films have been a big influence in my life. Spielberg, Cameron, and Zemeckis arefantastic directors who know how to tell a story through film. When it comes to horror, hands down the bestwriter/director out there has to be John Carpenter. Halloweenand The Thing are two of the besthorror films ever made. The pacing andanticipation in these films add an incredible element of horror that is veryrarely successfully done in Hollywood horror movies today. For me, story is the number one element to asuccessful film. I seem to gravitatetowards films that take the time to provide a good narrative and a greatpayoff. Rosemary’s Baby, The Sixth Sense,and The Exorcist are great examplesof these kinds of films.

POT: You could relate to all 3 characters and without their honestinteractions the film would not have been as successful as it was. How important was their believability withinthe context of the story?

Seve: Writing a POV or “found footage” script is quite different thanwriting the standard narrative film. Thearea where it differs the most is in the dialogue. In a traditional narrative film you typicallybypass the standard greetings and jump to the chase. Dialogue flows between characters withouthesitation, repetition or stuttering. Weare so accustomed to characters saying the perfect line or performing the perfectaction, essentially cutting through the fat. In a found footage film you look to create a truly real life experienceby trying to represent how we would really speak and react to a situation. As a result, we mumble, talk over eachother, overreact, use extensive slang and commit constant grammatical errors.The trick in creating a good POV film is finding the right balance betweenauthenticity and story pacing. In Skew,there was very little adlib. Thedialogue not only had to be delivered as it was written but also in a tone thatwould reflect the situation. This was veryimportant to propel the story forward and reveal tidbits of information to theaudience in order to piece the puzzle together. I worked with my three main actors—Robert Scattergood, Richard Olak andAmber Lewis—to create the proper feel for the film and they delivered stellarperformances to back this up. The castfor Skewdefinitely deserves so much credit for making the film what it is.

POT: How did you create the fantastic effects that served as the basis forsome of the scares? I'm thinking aboutthe police interrogation room and the roadside abandoned gas station inparticular.

Seve: While writing Skew, I had an opportunity to conferwith the visual effects supervisor over the script. We would talk about what my intentions werefor certain scenes and if the effect would be a practical or computer generatedone. I had certain ideas of how sceneswould play out and where the big or subtle scares would happen. Once the shots were locked down, it wasreally in the supervisor’s hands to create this magic. It was truly amazing to watch the first stepsof these effects come together on set. For one particular shot we had our actor run on a stripped down treadmill in front of a green screen. As Iwatched this on set, I had an understanding of how this was going to be puttogether but was really curious to see the final product. Once the visual effects artists got theirhands on the footage, I was astounded at what the fully created shot lookedlike. I have received nothing butcompliments on how the effects look and you really have to look no further thanthe amazing talents of the supervisor and artists who worked with me on Skew.

POT: Any upcoming projects you'd like to mention? Anything we should keep our eyes peeled for?

Seve: The festival run for Skew is coming to its tail end rightnow. After so many festivals it’s nowtime to focus on the sale of the film. Ihad so much fun working on Skew that I couldn’t wait to getstarted on the next one. Yet, with allfilm projects, it takes a lot of time to prepare yourself for the beginningstages of a new film and right now we are still working on a script. Once this is locked down, we’ll move intopre-production – which I feel is the most important stage of filmmaking. This is the best place to work out everyissue before you go into production. Theworst thing is to be unprepared while you’re on set. Trust me, you deal with enough surprises onceyou start shooting; you don’t need any more, especially ones that can be dealtwith in pre-production. So, the next film is looking to be another horror butthis time it will be a little more traditional in terms of style. What does that mean? Let’s just say that I’ve been there and donethat for POV at this stage. It’s time torelease a few psychotic killers and scare the hell out of everyone.

POT: Sounds great! Well thank you kindly for your time. Best of luck in the future and I hope Skew continues to gain the recognition and notoriety it deserves.

Seve: Thank youfor taking the time to interview me. Without fantastic sites like Planet of Terror, horror fans wouldn’t havethe opportunity to hear about independent films like Skew. Your enthusiastic effort to review films likemine and post interviews with the filmmakers is exactly what we need to get theword out there. Please keep up the greatwork and let the bloodletting continue!

Skew is currently available via Netflix and can be viewed via its streaming feature: http://movies.netflix.com/WiMovie/Skew/70209219?trkid=2361637

Cortez the Killer

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T07:31:00.001-08:00

Subspecies (1991)

2011-11-23T13:50:00.001-08:00

Fear 1/5
Gore 2/5
Entertainment 4/5
Creepiness 2/5
T&A Factor 3/5

Looking for something to bring you out of your vampire fanboy loving funk? Something that will ease the pain of seeing sparkly beings and idiotic teens and their mothers fawning over them? Check out Subspecies, a neat gothic tale that features a vampire in a way that it they should be: grotesque and menacing.

Meet Radu. He's a bastard of a guy who's seeking to kill and overthrow his father (Angus Scrimm) and gain the precious power of the blood stone. The blood stone is apparently an ancient relic that has a never ending supply of blood provided by the saints. Which saints exactly, who knows. Yes it's goofy. Just go with me m'kay?

A couple of American girls seeking to better research and document the Romanian countryside make their way out to the small town called Prejnar where Radu supposedly inhabits. They meet up with a local, a friend of theirs they previously met when she was studying in America. Together, they make their way out to a small inn located in the middle of the town. They settle in and immediately get to work.

Despite warnings about the surrounding areas, the girls go about their business, roaming the countryside and exploring some of the ancient structures for their research. But on their way back home one night, they're spooked by the sounds in the woods. A young man also staying at the inn runs into them and guides them back safely.

We come to find that the young man is not the documentary writer he was advertised as. Instead, he's the half brother of Radu, with vampire-like inclinations with half the guilt! Wakka wakka wakka.

Anywhos, he quickly falls for one of the girls. Radu sees the threat in his half brother and looks to destroy him on top of working his sexy time magic on the girls. After converting two of the girls to his vampiric ways, Radu turns his attention to the girl whom his half brother has fallen in love with. The half brother comes to her rescue and our gothic tale ends on a happily ever after note. Awwwwww, isn't that sweet?

Subspecies isn't the best vampire movie ever made. But it's certainly a fun flick. It has a goofy charm about it and I've always been a fan of the Nosferatu look which this film is heavily influenced by. You could do a whole lot worse. A great Friday night in flick.

Cortez the Killer

Occupant (2011)

2011-11-20T09:25:00.001-08:00

Fear 2/5
Gore 1/5
Entertainment 2/5
Creepiness 2/5

Occupant is a film with an interesting premise and set-up: take a young man, struggling to get by and offer him a prime real estate location that's rent controlled in New York (read: on the cheap). All he has to do is lock himself in the apartment for 12 days and the place is his free and clear. While the concept is interesting, and other worldly forces come into play (I think), the film is plagued with indecision in terms of direction and ultimately, an ending that leaves way too many unanswered questions.

We're introduced to our central character, a young man named Danny who's college educated but for some reason, decides that working at a local thrift store is a much better career choice. Awkwardly, he's being followed on the city streets by a beautiful young woman who's videotaping him for a video blog that she runs. At his request, she stops filming and a bit of flirtatious banter ensues as he tells her that he's on his way to his dead grandmother's apartment to collect some things.

Getting into the apartment building, he meets Joe, an Eastern European accented man who's charming and talks about the history of the building. He encourages Danny to take ownership of the apartment, putting it into his ear that he was there to take care of his invalid grandmother during her final days even though he hadn't had contact with her in years. This would serve as 'proof' that he really was a resident there and not just someone looking for a handout. With this, it becomes apparent that Joe has an agenda. After talking to a lawyer who assures him that the place will be his after 12 days, Danny moves in with what little things he has which includes his companion: a cat.

Almost immediately, weird things begin to happen. Danny notices a row of his grandmother's shoes which were neatly lined up near her bed the previous night are now missing a pair. Even more worrisome, is a large hole in her closet wall which leads to god knows where. After having not been at work for a few days, the girl whom he'd met on the street days earlier randomly decides to show up to the apartment. It's a bizarre moment which feels completely awkward and unnatural as they had no prior communication before she came over.

Anyways, they cook dinner together, flirt and get down to bedroom business. She leaves the camera running and films the whole fling. In the middle of the night, she decides to get up for a bit of a snack. With camera in tow, she heads to the darkened kitchen, grabs her snack and we briefly see a figure in the hallway. As she walks through the living room and back to the bedroom, she's struck over the head, the camera falls to the floor and rolls around. The next morning, Danny awakes to find her gone. Never once does he question how she got out since they were both locked in from the inside and the door remains bolted.

Despite numerous efforts to get to Danny and try to forcibly remove him from the apartment, he persists and continues to keep himself holed in. Joe gets him food and groceries as well as provides a daily affirmation. Just a few more days he tells him. Things quickly escalate when Danny puts the woman's camera in the area of the house to film whatever weirdness he thinks is going on. His mental state is obviously slipping but it never comes about in an organic way. Around day 8 or so, he goes full on cuckoo for cocoa puffs for no real rhyme or reason. You don't get a sense that it was because of claustrophobia or some sort of supernatural element that drove him to madness. He just flips out and barricades himself even more in the apartment with Joe bringing over a massive amount of barbed wire. He builds crude, medieval-like weapons to protect himself from god knows what. He builds a trap which involves a swinging door with spikes lodged into it. This device becomes the vehicle he uses to do himself in and our story abruptly ends.

Occupant is great in concept but not much else. Too much is asked of the viewer as they're expected to accept a lot on face value with no reveal, no clear cut rationale nor even a hint given as to the reason for this young man going insane and ultimately doing himself in. What a waste.

Cortez the Killer

Paranormal Activity 3 (2011)

2011-11-15T15:45:00.001-08:00

Fear 5/5
Gore 0/5
Entertainment 5/5
Creepiness 5/5

I initially had no desire to see this. I didn't care for PA2 and it's goofy mythos that attempted to explain what it was that was haunting our afflicted families. And I didn't particularly care for the almost identical set of scares that were employed in the first one (minus the daytime kitchen scene which was pulled off nicely). But when effusive praise came by way of many of my fellow bloggers, both after advance screenings and opening night viewings, I became curious. Well it got the best of me this past weekend and I must say the direction the story has taken about a demonically stalked family is pretty ingenious. Oh yeah, and the scares this time around are much more inventive. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that they're better than the ones doled out in the first go around.

Our film begins with video of sisters Kristi and Kate meeting, the former is in the midst of pregnancy (with the little tyke that is taken in PA2) and the latter is there to hand off a box of videos for storage in their basement. Flash forward a bit in time, and we see the husband coming home (to presumably the break-in which occurred at the beginning of PA2) and he finds the box of videos missing. Are you with me?

We then go back in time as tape begins to roll that was recorded way back in the late 80's. Who's watching the film exactly is unknown but we see the little sisters in the backyard of a family party. Little Kristi is seen in the background, talking to herself. Or is she?

The boyfriend of their mother happens to be a video editor and is enamored with his new toy, encouraging mom to get down and funky with him that night on camera. But their boom boom, get down tonight, bumping and grinding fun times get interrupted when an earthquake strikes and the family has to take cover.

The next day, the boyfriend reviews the tape and sees a figure moving across the screen after the camera had hit the floor and rolled around during the quake. This coupled with Kristi's invisible friend named Toby is enough to spook the boyfriend. So begins our camera set-up and daily review of the tape that has become a regular part of the series.

So the film pretty much follows suit as the previous two films with paranormal occurrences taking place subtly and then ratchet up as we go along. From Kristi hanging out in the hallway at night to chairs moving around to bedroom blankets being flung, things start to get hairier and hairier. One of the best scares is pulled off in what I will only describe as the kitchen furniture scene in Poltergeist times 1,000.

But that's not where the film's success lies. It takes a bit of a 180 as the boyfriend starts to research possessions and witchcraft after seeing symbols which Kristi has drawn in her crawlspace hideout. As things get crazier in the house and the family leaves to go stay with the girls' grandmother, we come to find that grandma is involved with a group that has less than favorable intentions for the girls. Our two most horrifying scares come within the last 20 min of our film and boy, are they doozies.

Credit must be given to filmmakers Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman (Catfish) for churning out some really inventive scares which show that maybe a dead horse isn't beaten here. Based on the box office haul, we'll be seeing another one of these films come Halloweentime next year. OK by me if they continue to be of the quality of PA3.

P.S. I love how the marketing of the films continue to be misleading and a bit of a red herring. So the actual scares aren't revealed in the trailers. Brilliant.

Cortez the Killer

Hell High (1989)

2011-11-09T16:36:00.000-08:00

Fear 0/5
Gore 3/5
Entertainment 5/5
Creepiness 1/5
T&A Factor 3/5

Cheesedick horror, oh cheesedick horror. My cup runneth over. It's been awhile since I've experienced your healing powers of ridiculousness. When I watch endless piles upon endless piles of shitty screeners, I know that you're always there. There to provide relief and there to remind my of why I love you oh so much. For despite all of the 'valiant' efforts of indie 'filmmakers', it's swell to know that you're in great supply. A bountiful supply of oh so terrible films that are just oh so good.

Our story about asshole teens, kicks off with a little girl who Skips to My Lou on down a dirt road which leads to a nearby swamp. As she nears it, she comes upon a shed and enters inside to play tea time with her little dollies. But her happy fun times get ruined when a punker on a motorcycle stops by with his lady friend. Startled, the girl leaves the shed but peers into a hole and watches as the punker tries to break through his lady friend's chastity belt. But his efforts are thwarted as she fends him off. They both exit the shed, the punker firing up his motorcycle and telling his woman to hop on. The little girl, clearly not happy that her special playtime was interrupted, takes some of the swampy mud which surrounds the joint and puts it into her plastic pail. As the motorcycle speeds away, she flings it at them, landing squarely on the punker's face which causes him to lose control and crash. They're hurtled through the air and land in a bed of spikes which happen to be randomly sticking out of the ground in the swampy area.

Fast forward quite a few years and we come to find that she is all growns up and living in secret in the same town which is now home to the 'legend of the swamp.' So a woman, who's hiding out and is trying to suppress terrible memories of a speared couple, what do you suppose she chooses as a profession? An old folk's home event coordinator? An animal shelter volunteer? A girl scout troop leader? Nope. She chooses to be a school teacher. A BIOLOGY teacher no less who spends days teaching kids how to cut into and dissect frogs. Makes total sense, right?

We're soon introduced to Dickens a real dickhead of a fellow. The class clown and school rebel, he doesn't dig Ms. Teacher all too much. After creating a disturbance in the classroom, he meets up with his loser chums (a dim-witted, numbnut fatboy and a slutty punk rock chick) and convinces them that they need to take on a fourth member of their loser group. Enter the former star quarterback who's just been dumped and who's decided to quite the team. Together, they decide to wreak their own brand of havoc and give a big middle finger to all of the pretty people. But before we get started, let's celebrate the end of the week by drinking some Jack RIGHT in front of the school. YEAH!

So our group begins their reign of terror by disrupting the football game later that night.Things are pretty damn boring and this just might be the most wretched high school football team in the history of high school football teams. The cheerleaders really don't give a shit, the students are borderline riotous and the coaches are flipping their shit. So what does our quadruple threat of douche decide to do? Jump into their '64 Mustang and intercept a pass mid-air and drive right down the field! Cue radical 80's tunes.

After that display of ridiculousness, it's on to the real star of the show. Dickens has it in his mind to play a prank on dear ol' Ms. Hot For Teacher that night. Yes, despite his dislike of her, he actually has a bit of an infatuation. He plots with the group to go down to the swamp area and scoop up some of the muddy goodness and smear her house with it, stomp on her roof to make her think the legend of the area has come to life, all while sporting Halloween masks. Of course, completely unbeknownst to them, is the dark secret which lies within our ticking time bomb teacher. Whoops! So this sets Ms. Teacher off and she goes completely Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. Dickens eventually breaks into the house and wanders upstairs. He finds Ms. Teacher completely catatonic and he decides to straddle her and rip her nightgown off. He tries to get freaky deeky with her but before he can do so, slutty punk rock chick enters the room and shows him how it's done and begins to massage her nipples. Hey, I never said cheesedick horror made any sense. Just when things are about to turn into an awkward threesome, our former star quarterback cockblocks the party and begs them to leave. Dickens isn't too happy about this and starts a wrasslin'. But before they can get into full on brawl mode, teacher randomly decides to dive out of her 2nd story bedroom window, crashing through the glass, and landing on the ground below.

With this bit of nonsensical madness occurring, our idiotic foursome freaks out and wonders what to do next. Believing their whacked out teacher to be dead, they hash a plot to go back into town and steal something out of the new star quarterback's locker, drive back to teacher's house and plant it there to set him up. But things go awry as teacher comes to and exacts revenge on these moronic, tough kid wannabes. The gore factor doesn't really get amped until this time but none of that matters as you continually witness some of the most random dialogue ever committed to film. Oh yeah, and random titties.

Hell High is a lot of head scratching, 'What the fuck just happened?', wack-a-licious action. WACK-
A-LICIOUS I say! It's a perfect film to watch on a Friday night with friends, providing your own running Mystery Science Theater 3000 commentary throughout, while consuming mass quantities of adult beverages.

Cortez the Killer

Sweatshop (2009)

2011-11-04T05:00:00.000-07:00

Fear 0/5
Gore 4/5
Entertainment 1/5
Creepiness 1/5

Sweatshop is a one trick pony that should have been taken out to pasture way before it was allowed to go on for (roughly) a hundred and thirty minutes. It drags on for so long with completely uninteresting and douchey characters that you're just praying for it to end. It plods and limps along until (thankfully) the final payoff. Its decent enough, but taken within the context of the entire film and maddening experience you've had thus far, it's much too little too late.

The film features a group of gothic punkers who love to party. The group holes themselves up in what they think is an abandoned wherehouse. They're set to rave, drink, drug and party the night away with a group of paying customers. Little do they know, the believed to be abandoned wherehouse is actually home to two mongoloid twin girls and their (presumably) big brother who wields a large steel hammer. Why they are there, how they got there, or why their broheim wields such a formidable weapon is never really explained.

The whole of our film pretty much consists of the group dancing, fucking, some internal drama between girlfriends and boyfriends, and some killings at the hands of our mongoloid inhabitants. Throw in some more dancing around to droning house music in anticipation of their big wherehouse party and that's pretty much all there is to it.

All of this leads up to the film's big payoff: the mongoloid big brother with the large steel hammer smashing all of the party goers to bits. You suffer through painful dialogue, pseudo drama, and really bad acting all to get to the last five glorious minutes. And make no mistake, they are awesome. Strewn body parts, innards, and decapitations, are served up nicely but by this point, you are wondering 'Is this it?' And it pretty much is. Nothing interesting happens in the film until the last five minutes. So if you do decide to check it out, just fast forward and save yourself about an hour and twenty five minutes of your life.

Cortez the Killer

The Haunting At The Beacon (2009)

2011-11-02T18:04:00.000-07:00

Fear 0/5
Gore 2/5
Entertainment 0/5
Creepiness 0/5

You know those types of films that give you equal bouts of tourettes and fits of fury? Yeah, that is this one to a perfect T. With no regards to pacing, character development or really a coherent plot, The Haunting at The Beacon (also known as The Beacon) is one of the most boring, uninspired, listless haunted house (in this case apartment complex) films you'll ever see. Avoid this one at all costs.

Our story begins with a woman (Teri Polo, Ben Stiller's better half in the Fockers series of films) and her husband moving into a new apartment complex. Immediately, strange occurrences take place with a young boy haunting their abode, running across rooms and causing bumps in the night. In addition, the woman sees a dime store, paper-mache faced version of Pinhead roaming the hallways of the complex and even showing up at her husband's place of work: the local university where he teaches.

We then learn that the couple is there to start anew. Apparently their young son died in a tragic accident not too long ago and the woman believes she is seeing him roaming the hallways and riding the elevators in the apartment complex. Lots of goofy, awkward, and clunky dialogue ensues between the woman, some of the tenants (including a slutty blonde who's looking to get into the knickers of her husband) and the complex's guard (Michael Ironside who's obviously in this for the paycheck). It's so awkward and annoying, like a fifth grader who wrote a script thinking 'Yeah, this is how old people talk.'

So after many a rinse and repeat of the boy roaming the halls, wreaking havoc on the woman's psyche and paper-mache'd man face stalking her wherever she goes, we then find out what is actually taking place in the building. Along with her husband's geeky science-y co-worker, they come to the conclusion that some inter dimensional worm-hole or some shit has opened the apartment complex up to a greater evil. And all of it's inhabitants are some sort of trapped demons looking to take their souls. By this time, with all of the bizarre-o dialogue and really slow pacing, I had checked out. So my interpretation may not be all up to snuff. But you kinda get the point.

It's on Netflix streaming if you really want to torture yourself. And apparently it was filmed at an actual haunted locale in Texas. I had no desire to sit through the DVD extras to find out any additional details on the proceedings (supposedly some creepy events took place). This is as boring and lackluster as they come.

Cortez the Killer

Shorts and Trailers, Trailers and Shorts!

2011-10-29T12:29:00.000-07:00

I have some fantastical trailers and shorts to share with you today kiddos! Happy Halloween Weekend!!

First off is a neat little short film called Slash-In-The-Box. Filmmaker Nick Everhart reached out to me via Twitter (isn't social media just the coolest, like Miles Davis pee your pants cool?) and asked if I'd check out his short. I obliged and was rewarded.

Pop goes the evil and the evil goes pop!

Slash-In-The-Box from Nick Everhart on Vimeo.

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Next up, we have a zombie short from the land down under courtesy of filmmaker Cameron McCulloch. Home is about a woman trying to survive a zombie apocalypse while clinging to the memories of a life she once had. But it's revealed that she's harboring a secret that hits much too close to home and it could mean life or death.

"Home" - The Short Zombie Film from Cameron McCulloch on Vimeo.

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From Fatal Pictures and Zach Green comes the teaser trailer for their next short film Familiar.This is a production company that you should keep your eyes out for as the folks that are behind it are extremely talented and they continually turn out quality genre films.

Starring the fantastic Robert Nolan (Worm), the film features a man who's plagued by negative impulses due to a series of tragic events. Not much else is known outside of these slim details but if the crazy snippet below is any indication, the folks at Fatal Pictures are going to deliver another solid slice of genre entertainment.

FATAL PICTURES presents FAMILIAR (2011) The Teaser from Zach Green on Vimeo.

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Next, is the trailer for the indie slasher film Blood Was Everywhere. The thing that I dig about this trailer is the film feels a lot more gritty than your typical slasher film and has a 70's vibe about it. And I think that's just what the filmmakers were gunning for.

The film will be hitting the theater circuit soon. For more details about it, you can check out the film's website and Facebook pages.

BloodWasEverywhere.com
Facebook.com/BloodWasEverywhere

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And last but certainly not least, is the link to the latest trailer for Ti West's The Innkeepers. This is the only remaining flick on my list of most anticipated genre releases of the year which I have yet to see.

http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/magnolia/theinnkeepers/

Skew (2011)

2011-10-26T05:00:00.000-07:00

Fear 5/5
Gore 1/5
Entertainment 5/5
Creepiness 5/5

I'm going to declare 2011 the year of the found footage flick on this here interwebs page. I've seen and reviewed a total of 7. Not every film was released this year (and not all of them were good). But as the format has become all the rage, both older and newer films alike are gaining more notoriety and recognition. Enter Skew. A unique take on the sub-genre, it's a terrifying tale of the supernatural as one young man becomes a conduit for death.

A trio of young twenty somethings (Simon, Rich and Eva) set out on a much anticipated road trip. The group have long looked forward to it. It's a chance for them to get away for awhile and eventually, celebrate their pal's nuptials. Simon decides to record the trip and the events of the next few days with a camera he's recently purchased. What starts off as your average road trip with friends bantering and joking, enjoying the open road, soon becomes a case of the strange and inexplicable when Simon begins to see distorted images through his camera. More specifically, as they make stops along the way, he sees the distorted faces of folks that he comes into contact with. But when he plays back the video, the images look normal.

What is initially played off as an odd occurrence soon turns to full on paranoia for Simon when the hotel clerk is found dead. If that wasn't enough, a bus full of tourists meet a grisly demise when he turns the camera on them as the trio drive down a country road. But they read of the incident at a gas station in the local paper the next day. Simon becomes rattled but Rich shrugs it off as mere coincidence. It's not until a gas station attendant meets his demise and they're hauled into the local authorities office that they get to a point where they don't want Simon to film anything anymore.

In between the deaths and their stops along the way, Simon sees the people who've died through his lens as he continues to film. When he takes his eye off the camera, they're gone and neither Rich nor Eva can see what he sees: either with their bare eyes or through the same lens. One particular scare plays to great effect as Simon sees the hotel clerk in the corner of their room.

Despite pleas to stop from Rich and Eva, Simon continues to film everything as they continue to travel. At some point, they stop at a deserted gas station for a bathroom break. It's here where things escalate between all three. The events, although initially ignored by Rich and Eva, begin to wear on their psyche and Simon becomes completely unhinged. After a brutal attack is committed, the end to our film sees things go back in time as we learn why Simon's girlfriend did not accompany them on the trip. With the camera rolling, they both engage in an argument. As things get heated, she storms off and the camera pans around a room and stops at a bedside mirror. The reflection.....well, I'll just stop right here. Let's just say the ending will stay with you for days. Along with his impetus for why he chose to buy a camera in the first place (which is revealed during one of their hotel stops), you begin to piece things together. Although your interpretation of the film's chilling closing moments and what they mean in the context of the film may vary from mine.

It's not very often that a horror film will stay with you for days along with rattling your nerves so bad that it'll be hard to sleep that night. And I love films that question particular notions. In the case of Skew, it's those notions of death which will strike a chord and linger.

The film can be currently viewed via Netflix streaming: http://www.netflix.com/Movie/Skew/70209219?strkid=1806903174_0_0&lnkctr=srchrd-sr&strackid=2117505a7fa47f9f_0_srl&trkid=222336

Cortez the Killer

I Didn't Come Here To Die (2010)

2011-10-22T13:59:00.000-07:00

Fear 2/5
Gore 4/5
Entertainment 5/5
Creepiness 3/5

Now this is how you make a 'young kids go out into the middle of the woods' horror movie. Not this. Taking your standard conventions and twisting them to great effect, the film cuts through the clutter and delivers one hell of a horror comedy. Grab your friends, a 12 pack (or two), watch this as a double feature with Tucker and Dale vs. Evil, and you'll be having yourself a side splitting, gore soaked, good time.

Our story focuses on a group of six do-gooders: a goody two-shoes girl who sports a sailor mouth when drunk, a pussy whipped guy who's reluctant to leave his lady friend behind, a pair of mischief makers looking to get drunk and fuck, a soft spoken young man who's hiding a secret pain, and a hot gal who's guiding our group out into the middle of the woods to build a place for underprivileged kids. Awwwww, isn't that nice?

The kids head on out, stopping at a convenience store on the way (our mischief makers picking up some booze even though having it's a no-no) and eventually get to their destination and set-up camp. Our kids decide to get shitfaced that night and our young man with a sad past is ready to unleash his other pitched tent on the hot guide. But things go horribly wrong when Ms. Goody Two Shoes stumbles around drunk and has one of her eyes gouged out by a local tree branch. And so begins a string of bad accidents and really horrible decision making which is all made possible by the surrounding woods and the supernatural presence contained within. Simply put, these kids are fucked.

So our volunteer guide takes the wounded goody two shoes to the hospital and encourages the group to get started on work. While mischief maker boy and our secret pain harboring, hoping to bang the hot guide guy, get started in on one area, mischief maker girl and pussy whipped boy get started on another. Mischief maker girl decides that it's a good idea to swing the chainsaw around and around like a toy with absolutely no regard for her surroundings. Big mistake. It catches a tree branch and the force sends her backwards, the saw dislodges and lands right smack in the middle of her face. Horrified, pussy whipped boy tries to remove the saw from her facehole but only makes the situation worse as the saw fires up and splits her head in two.

Pussy whipped boy becomes extremely traumatized by the whole event and despite the effort of the other two boys to calm him down, he does himself in as the horror he witnessed becomes too much to bear and the supernatural force at work in the woods royally freaks him out. He takes his own life by hanging himself in a nearby tree which sets one of our remaining two boys into a downward spiral of madness.Things conclude in a bad way for the rest of our group including the hot guide who's now come back for them. Continued bad judgement and incredible irrational behavior lead the remaining three down a path of no return and things get incredibly worse.

I Didn't Come Here to Die is insanely good fun. The atmosphere and cartoon-like insanity has an Evil Dead feel about it. And genre fans are starting to take note as its received incredible praise from the community in addition to mainstream sites and bloggers like yours truly. This is a classic folks.

For more information about the film, check out its website. As more news becomes available about an official release, keep your eyes peeled (but not gouged) on this here interwebs page.

http://ididntcomeheretodie.com/

Cortez the Killer

Ashes (2010)

2011-10-17T17:04:00.000-07:00

Fear 3/5
Gore 3/5
Entertainment 4/5
Creepiness 3/5

Ashes is an interesting take on the infection/apocalyptic/end of the world scenario type of a film. While it contains the standard tropes associated with these types of films (something begins to infect mankind, people get sick, turn into something else and/or die, etc.) it's the notion behind it and the larger forces at play to make sure the whole of humanity is wiped out, that makes it so startling and stark. This isn't a happy one folks. There is no sunny outlook or Hollywood ending to be found.

Our story begins when a young boy finds a a group of jelly fish that have washed up on a local beach. Attempting to handle one of the creatures he's stung and falls to the ground. The next time we see him, he's in the care of a highly specialized doctor (Brian Krause) as the doc frantically tries to find out what it is that's caused this boy's comatose state.

We come to learn that the doc is highly regarded in his field. Along with being the head physician and with the aide of his trusted lab geek (Kadeem Hardison, yes that Kadeem Hardison), he's developed a serum which has seen great success in reversing the affects of AIDS. A patient who frequents the hospital, has seen a near complete reversal of his symptoms. And because of the work that's been done, the government has now taken a strong interest in his work.

The all-out, god-like nature of the doctor becomes his undoing as he thinks his serum is a cure-all and injects the boy with it. After a brief reaction and subsequent biting of the doctor's arm, the boy falls back to his bed and expires. The doctor covers up the incident but his patient doesn't stay dead for long.

Along with the boy, our full-on obsessive doctor becomes something else. In between trying to perfect on his serum and finding out what it is that's infected the boy, his bite grows worse and we eventually see him turn into a flesh hungry shell of his former self. If that wasn't enough, he's brought his infection home and his wife has now inherited the same penchant.

Here is where things get interesting: the interfering government and the man who's sent to take over the doctor's work reveals his true intentions. I won't play the spoils here but the rationale is interesting without getting too heavy-handed. Along with that is the notion of a virus instigated by nature which makes story altogether more enjoyable than your typical end of the world fare.

Ashes is still making festival rounds but keep your eyes peeled. It's a unique and intense infection film that is well worth your time.

You can check the trailer out via the film's website: http://ashesthemovie.com/#/trailer/4540836791

Cortez the Killer

Undocumented (2010)

2011-10-12T19:02:00.000-07:00

Fear 5/5
Gore 4/5
Entertainment 4/5
Creepiness 5/5

Undocumented is part cinema verite and part live action. And all too close for comfort. It's the type of film that makes you think 'Hey, this isn't that far off from reality.' And this thought which makes you sick. Like pit of your stomach sick. A type of sickness that can't be achieved by a monster, zombie or other supernatural force. This is gut punching realism at its finest.

Our film follows the progress of four students and a guide as they set out to document the perilous trek of a group of Mexicans as they attempt to cross the border, risking their lives for the hope of a better one. They meet up with a man and board a bus and are taken to an area where the entrance to an underground tunnel resides. The group make their way through and to the other side and meet up with their transport. Their ride is a moving truck which is supposed to drive them into the heart of Texas. But just when they think they're well on their way to freedom, things get derailed when someone hijacks the truck.

The truck pulls up to a compound, the back of it opened up and immediately, the group is hit by spotlights. A voice comes over the speaker and demands that all strip down naked. The group of students and their guide call out, telling anyone who will listen that they are American. They are then taken into separate interrogation rooms and quizzed about their backgrounds along with being asked about the purpose behind the documentary. Travis, the head of the film crew, strikes a deal with the masked men. The crew is to film the group who runs the compound, documenting their actions and their guiding philosophies and principles. Little does he know that he (and the group) are going to get a lot more than they bargained for.

Things start off seemingly justifiable as the masked men talk about ridding the U.S. of the vermin who cross the boarder with drugs. They bind and torture a man who's revealed to be one such smuggler, going down a laundry list of his crimes. But it soon becomes apparent that no one is safe within the group not even the innocent. The sickest moment coming when a man is strapped to a chair and asked to answer questions about American history. For every wrong answer, his wife, attached to a drawn and quartering device, is stretched out inch by inch. Even the students aren't without consequence as they're killed when they attempt to help out members of the illegal immigrant group.

Things come to a head (literally) when Travis, who's heavily sedated, is forced to swing a bat adorned with nails into a pinata. The only problem? The pinata is filled with one of his friends. It's brutal and absolutely sickening. When he comes to and realizes what it is that he's done, he makes a last ditch effort with the surviving members of the crew to break free and get out.

This one is hard to stomach and get through folks. It feels like a ripped from the pages type of a story. Next to the psychological, this is the other type of genre film that gets to me the most. Steeped in realism, Undocumented will shake your core.

Cortez the Killer

Kids Go To The Woods...Kids Get Dead (2009)

2011-10-08T10:05:00.000-07:00

Fear 0/5
Gore 3/5
Entertainment 0/5
Creepiness 0/5

The title pretty much says it all. Laden with genre tropes and unbearably awful dialogue, the film falls flat on every level and begs the question: 'Do we REALLY need more films like this?' This isn't even fun in an oh so good it's bad way. It's not even the type of film that you can say is an admirable effort because the creators appear to wear their influences on their sleeves or are true fans of the genre. I'm not making judgements here and I'm sure they are (the title cards, credits and artwork are reminiscent of Friday the 13th). This film is just painfully dull and boring. It's paint by numbers horror and it's insulting.

Do I really need to get into a synopsis? I mean the title says it all, right? OK, if I must for some sort of reviewer integrity. A group of kids (cliche riddled to the bone) head out to the woods. They party, drink and have sex. A killer is stalking them. He sounds like Darth Vader and looks like the killer from My Bloody Valentine. A 'twist' is introduced which is supposed to be inventive, I guess, but it just comes off as lazy and contrived (much like the entire effort).

And really that's all I can muster with regards to plot. The sex, dick and fart jokes aren't funny in the least. And curse words are thrown around like a middle schooler thinking it's neat-o. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure a middle schooler (or someone that didn't progress past the 5th grade) wrote the dialogue and script.

Look, you know I love a good cheese and sleaze fest. But when are filmmakers going to learn that throwing together these types of tropes and not even paying mind to things like witty dialogue or interesting kills (the film can't even get that right) is an instant recipe for disaster? And I don't even want to hear the recent argument of 'Well it's a --insert genre staple here________-- movie. What did you expect?' This is becoming a prevalent cop-out and ignores one simple film making truth: you should still strive to make a decent film.

If you're feeling masochistic, you can check the film out for free through the end of the month via its website. Don't say I didn't warn you.

http://darkstarentertainment.net/kgd/kgdhome.htm

A Horrible Way To Die (2010)

2011-10-06T16:58:00.000-07:00

Fear 3/5
Gore 3/5
Entertainment 4/5
Creepiness 2/5

A Horrible Way to Die is an interesting character study. Our main characters are a serial killer who's escaped police custody and his girlfriend, a recovering alcoholic who's frailty becomes her own undoing. But before I get into the specifics, based on the title alone and what folks may perceive, there isn't a whole lot of blood and guts here (at least not until the end). This is a film squarely focused on its characters rather than the gore and grue. So if you go in expecting a full on splatterfest, you're going to be severely disappointed.

Still with me? Said serial killer (played by my favorite genre actor working today, AJ Bowen), is introduced at the onset of our film. He's kidnapped a girl and taken her out to the countryside where she is strangled. He takes off in her car and for the vast majority of the rest of the film, we see him as he narrowly escapes being caught by police (which are now involved in an all-out manhunt) and various flashbacks that fill in the pieces from his previous life.

We are then introduced to Sarah, at first a quiet and reserved early 30's woman who's battling a severe addiction to alcohol. It takes awhile for her to get warmed to the idea of revealing details about her life during her AA meetings. Helping to kind of prod her along, is another man in the group which is obviously fond of her. It becomes apparent that she can not take care of herself and she eventually latches on to him.

They then begin to form a relationship and soon gain one another's trust. She tells him about her former boyfriend and how she came to find out who he really was. Before this, in our flashback sequences (the film jumps all over in terms of timelines), we see this normal, everyday couple on display although Sarah is more oftentimes than not, drunk. It's not until Sarah catches her boyfriend wandering out late at night (usually she's passed out, not even knowing that he's gone) that she becomes a little suspicious. One night, she follows him out and stops at a storage unit. What she finds is terrifying and ultimately, she's the one that reveals his dark secret and does him in.

Along his way, our killer can't stop himself from killing, even with the threat of police nearby. Things come to a head when Sarah learns that her coworker is dead and finally catches on to reports of her escaped ex. Her AA friend now turned lover offers a place to stay at his parent's cabin in the woods. She obliges and they both travel out. But we soon learn things are not as they seem and our film does a complete 180 from the course you think it's set for.

As mentioned, the film is a unique character study. Both of our main characters have addictions and the parallels are hard to miss. One is a killer, so compelled by his constant craving of the kill. The other, brought to constant struggle with a need for just one more drink, one more piece of relief. The ending may leave some folks puzzled but I thought it was an interesting twist. Regardless, if you are looking for something different than your average genre fare, you can't go wrong with A Horrible Way to Die.

Cortez the Killer

Episode 6 Of The Podcast Is All Up In Yo' Earhole!

2011-10-03T16:29:00.000-07:00

In this episode of the podcast, I chat with writer/director Matt Osterman, the fantastic talent behind the independent thriller Phasma Ex Machina aka Ghost From The Machine. The film centers on a grieving you man who becomes obsessed with building a contraption which will hopefully bring back his dead parents. His at-all-costs focus is to his own detriment as he loses the respect and companionship of those around him. When a certain end is achieved, he learns that not everyone is meant to come back and there are some things you should leave well alone.

We talk about the idea behind the film and his fascination with the paranormal, his 'big' call from Hollywood, and we shoot the breeze on recent flicks we've watched.

Enjoy!

All Things Horror Presents Shudder Fest!

2011-09-30T17:06:00.000-07:00

My good friends over at All Things Horror, Mike and Chris, put their money where their mouth is. Never ones to complain about the lack of support for independent genre films, they always give even the lowest of budgeted films a fair shake. If that wasn't enough, they put on monthly screenings at the Somerville Theater in their hometown of Somerville, MA. And they are two of the coolest cats around!

For the month of October, they have put together one heck of a lineup which includes two films (Absentia and Ashes) that are on my best of list for 2011. Definitely check out this fest if you are in the area and support fine independent works of horror.

Here is a press release with all the deets:

All Things Horror Announces “Shudder Fest” Schedule

Four Features-Twelve Shorts

October 14^th & 15^th

(Boston, MA) ALL THINGS HORROR ONLINE is thrilled to announce a two night movie extravaganza that will save horror loving social malcontents and shut-ins the indignity of being stuck with SyFY Channel Original Films and edited for television SAW marathons this Halloween season.

Friday October 14^th and Saturday October 15^th at the Somerville Theater (55 Davis Sq. Somerville MA) we’re bringing genre fans two nights of double features and a full slate of short films. Our quartet of features represents the best of what the world of independent horror has to offer.

Fresh off its victory for Best Screenplay at Fantastic Fest, THE CORRIDOR (imdb) returns to Massachusetts with a tale about a group of friends travel to a cabin in the woods only to stumble onto something other worldly.

ABSENTIA finds a woman and her sister linking her husband’s disappearance to a strange tunnel at the end of her block. Dripping with atmosphere, ABSENTIA often feels like ALIEN set in suburban Los Angeles.

Splatter filled horror comedy hybrid I DIDN’T COME HERE TO DIE (imdb) has been hailed as “The Best Horror Film since Sam Raimi unleashed The Evil Dead upon the world” (Bloody-Disgusting) .

Shudder Fest marks the Boston debut of ASHES (imdb). Elias Matar’s debut feature examines an obsessive doctor whose quest to cure AIDS triggers a response that destroys the body and enrages the mind.

As part of Friday’s programming, we’re turning the short film spotlight onto Devi Snively and Deviant pictures. In 2007 Ms. Snively was one of eight participants chosen to take part in the prestigious AFI Directing Workshop For Women. Her films are noted for their whimsical take on horror and visual style that evokes memories of the four color heyday of EC Comics. Films screening include Last Seen On Dolores Street, Death in Charge, Teenage Bikini Vampire, Confederate Zombie Massacre, Raven Gets A Life and I Spit on Eli Roth.

Tickets are available for individual films ($8 in advance online, $10 cash only at the door). Discounted double feature of all-film passes are also available. For more details, trailers and screening schedule visit our site http://www.allthingshorroronline.net/p/shudder-fest-october-14th-15th.html

Seeking Wellness: Suffering Through Four Movements (2008)

2011-09-28T17:55:00.000-07:00

Fear 3/5
Gore 3/5
Entertainment 4/5
Creepiness 4/5

Seeking Wellness is a horrifying yet oddly redemptive piece of work. Four vignettes comprise the film all of which are disturbing but on different levels. As such, it may be difficult for some to get through because of the content. On the back of the DVD cover it came with explicit directions: 'ATTENTION: Seeking Wellness is a conceptual video cycle intended to be experienced from beginning to end without interruption. If you choose to experience Seeking Wellness in another manner you will not yield maximum emotional stimulation. Please watch Seeking Wellness in its entirety without pause.' This isn't hype or hyperbole. It actually happens to be the truth as this is a film experience that evokes a whole range of emotions.

The first 'video' has no sound but the buzzing of an electrical current which feeds multiple cameras within a hospital. It appears to be a hospital in which folks are rehabbing from some sort of serious injury (i.e. losing limbs or perhaps serious burns). The camera constantly rotates between patient rooms, the reception area, a break room and a storage closet which contains drugs. Things soon turn into a nightmare as a pair of masked men storm the hospital, drag the woman at reception into one of the rooms with a patient occupying and start to rape her, brutally killing her, the doctor, and patient in the process. The cameras continue to switch and we see the men viciously murder the other patients one by one, the constant rotating giving you the feeling of a cycle that will not end and with that, a feeling of utter hopelessness.

After the sledgehammer to the face that is the beginning, our next video centers on a divorced man and his two kids at Christmastime. What starts as a fairly run-of-the-mill family experience as dad shows old pictures via a slideshow, it slowly devolves into utter shock and horror as he stops on a picture of his uncle. He tells about the 'special' relationship he had with him and how his uncle 'prepared' him for the intimate relationship they were going to have. When the projector malfunctions, dad hits the lights and daughter and son are seen hands folded on the coach with heads down. Clearly, they do not want to be there. Reluctantly, they grab Christmas presents from under the tree and begin to open them. The son gets a fairly boring Rubix cube but it's the daughter's present which causes the most gut wrenching moment. In one single gift giving act, the father signals his intent to 'prepare' his daughter for the same sort of relationship he had with his uncle. It's a scene like this that levels any you've seen in a horror film filled with blood and guts. This is real-world horror that shakes you to the core.

Our third video, involves a woman giving a college class final presentation. Her subject is a man whom she follows around and video tapes. He reveals wishes for nothing more than to contract a terminal illness which will hopefully bring his ex back into the picture and to his side when she finds out that he is gravely ill and in need of care. The woman's thesis is about how people inflict harm upon themselves in order to feel some sort of accomplishment or sense of purpose. Her subject even talks about having never amounted to much and giving himself cancer would be his 'grand' achievement. As such, he researches carcinogens and does everything he can to contract cancer: he hangs out at factories, sleeps on newly painted rooftops, to name a few. In one scene that drew a laugh from me, he's shown eating paint that's peeling away from a wall.

After it's clear that he's given himself cancer, the film awkwardly transitions into the final video which is set in the same classroom as the 3rd. Our carcinogen ingesting subject (who's heavily medicated) is placed on a gurney and members of the school's medical staff join the presenter as they cut into him and extract a significantly large tumor that's grown on his left side. In a grotesque scene, the students participate in a bit of a feast as it's explained to them that this man's commitment and sacrifice should be acknowledged and they should give thanks. This one scene is the connective tissue that makes the other 'videos' make sense.

From hopelessness to despair to self-inflicted injury to sacrifice and purpose (as odd as it is), Seeking Wellness is not an easy film to get through. Much like The Bunny Game which I experienced earlier this year, the film is extremely trying but ultimately, it is the prime example of why I love horror and why I run this site: it's thought provoking and it will stay with you long after the credits roll.

Cortez the Killer

Exhibit A (2007)

2011-09-26T16:47:00.000-07:00

Fear 3/5
Gore 0/5
Entertainment 4/5
Creepiness 4/5

Exhibit A is a found footage flick from our friends across the pond, the Brits. Oh bloody hell Cortez, not another one of these types of movie pictures! Before you get your trousers in a bunch, this found footage flick actually has something interesting going on. No cheap scares. No bumps or thumps in the night. No loud jolt you out of your seat moments. Just a family completely deteriorating with an absolutely nutty father leading the way.

Our film begins with a seemingly normal family: a mother, father, teenage son and daughter. Laughing and joking around in the kitchen, the daughter plays with the new family toy. What else? A video camera. Moving away from the kitchen and into her room, we see the girl as she talks to the camera and shows us the various objects which adorn and take residence in it. She stops talking to the camera as she notices a young teenage girl, a neighbor, playing basketball in the driveway. At first, we think she's just filming her as she's basically shooting everything within view of the new toy. But after a prolonged period, we get a sense that the daughter has a particular interest in this girl.

Dad is revealed to be a career focused man. Hopeful of a promotion that is sure to come his way. Scratch that, more like he knows he has it in the bag. So much so, that he's taken the family out to the British coast and they've fallen in love with a particular seaside home. Even further, he's put money down on the place as surely, the promotion is coming his way soon.

As the daughter continues to document the daily doings of the family, little things start to come to the surface that initially, she thinks nothing of: she finds stacks of lotto tickets in the garage, she finds dad having a hushed conversation on his cellphone one night in said locale. But she soon grows worried after more late night conversations take place and even more so when dad insists on digging up the backyard and installing a pool to increase property value. Even crazier, it's revealed that a fellow co-worker of the father was severely beaten one night. And slowly, secrets start to unravel. Not just that of the father, but secrets that are being carried by each member of the family.

Things come to a head when we learn the father's promotion did not go through, he was in fact responsible for the beating of the co-worker, and the purchase of the seaside home fell through. What was meant to be a BBQ to celebrate with family and friends turns into a terrifying spectacle as dad begs to anyone within a 5ft. radius to dance with him in the back yard to some reggae music. Dad completely flips. It's the most uncomfortable moment in the film as the appearance of this 'I have it together' family man completely falls apart. Things get much worse from here on out as the father, brutally chastised by the family, turns on each member and exposes their secrets. And all of this leads to one horrifying and fateful finish.

Exhibit A is exactly the type of film we need in order to keep the found footage sub-genre relevant, interesting and fresh. It's not without it's faults (there were times where all 4 family members were on camera so you wondered who the heck was filming them). But it's engrossing, slow burning and ultimately, it's what we want from a horror film: it's shocking and terrifying. This film should be garnering more notoriety than it has.

Cortez the Killer

Red State (2011)

2011-09-19T17:45:00.000-07:00

Fear 3/5
Gore 3/5
Entertainment 3/5
Creepiness 5/5

Kevin Smith's first foray into horror films deals with an insane and over-the-top religious cult. Which is kind of ironic in and of itself because that's how most of his fans are: nuts and cult-like. The acting is top notch and it paints a pretty horrific picture (not in an overly gory way but more because of the extreme characterizations). It's a worthwhile watch that is captivating from start to finish. And it has a practical message that you aren't force fed or beaten over the head with.

Our film begins with a trio of teenage boys using the interwebs to browse profiles, rate, and (hopefully) coax some fine sophisticated woman into having sex with the three of them. In this day and age of readily available porn and unmonitored kids this idea, while initially seeming silly, actually made sense given my feelings on kids today (I'm becoming an old crotchety bastard) and their insatiable needs of instant gratification. A woman of particular interest responds back to them via email and they set up a rendezvous for later that night.

After commandeering a family ride, they drive out to Nowheresville and quickly learn that they aren't going to get to bang bedposts. Instead, they're knocked out, bound and hauled off to a local preacher's church. When one of them comes to, we see him being wheeled out in a cage with a blanket draped over it, his screams drowned out by a congregation's singing.

What happens next is a preacher's sermon which sets up his group's belief structure and his own whacked out ideologies. It's not too far off from your Westboro Baptist Churches of the world (in fact, they're even referenced in the film). But there is one cruel distinction: they actually take matters into their own hands not only passing judgment but executing the threat to their way of life and ideological existence. Michael Parks (Maidenhead, Kill Bill Vol. II) makes the film what is as a pastor who's one vicious bastard. He's also not afraid to use and equip his followers with an arsenal he has stashed inside the church and compound.

And that's exactly what happens as the boys try to escape and the FBI stops by for a visit. Lead by Joseph Keenan (John Goodman), a tough yet affable man, the group is given unbelievable orders as they are instructed to kill everyone inside. After a fit of conscience, a brutal standoff comprises the vast majority of the rest of the film. Our story concludes with Keenan being interviewed by his superiors as to the 'whys' behind this group and their extreme belief system.

Here is where Smith shows a surprising amount of restraint: instead of going off on some wild rant about organized religion, how it's brainwashed the whole of humanity or how its been responsible for more bad deeds than good, we learn that what actually drew the group out of the compound and into the hands of the FBI was not a perceived act of divine intervention. But rather it was a perfectly explainable, of this world, type of occurrence. I think you can draw your own inferences here about what he's trying to say.

Not a film classic for sure but certainly not worthy of some of the negative pub its received, Red State may pleasantly surprise you. For a filmmaker that's prone to over the top-ness and copious amounts of dick and fart jokes, I found this interesting and unexpected.

Cortez the Killer

The Perfect House (2010)

2011-09-17T05:31:00.000-07:00

Fear 0/5
Gore 4/5
Entertainment 0/5
Creepiness 0/5

Over the past couple of years, there's been a resurgence of the horror anthology. Results have ranged from pretty darn good to the unbearably awful. The Perfect House falls into to the latter category. This is one boring, lackluster, uninspired mess.

Our feature begins when a family (the mother played by genre vet Felissa Rose) invites their neighbor over for dinner. At the dinner table, the the man of the family reveals that he threw away the neighbor's old weed whacker which he had borrowed. The neighbor is visibly shaken by the news. Presumably, bad things are about to happen. Due to a discarded lawn tool.

Moving right along after the opening credits, a young couple is guided by their real estate through the former house of the aforementioned family. Its perfect for them but they are curious as to why it's listed for so cheap. The agent, a blonde bimbo in a red dress, tells them the house is just looking for the perfect owners. Obviously, she's not being completely forthright and in an awkward turn, she starts provocatively showing off her 'assets' to the husband to get them to seal the deal as quickly as possible. Huh?

This awkward event (and subsequent transition) carries us into the beginning of 3 short vignettes. Not a single one of them are interesting and all share the same quality: dialogue that sounds like it was written by a 5th grader experimenting with creative writing for the first time. A brief rundown of each story is as follows:

- A family of four are holed up in the basement of our on the market home due to a nasty storm brewing outside. The mother is a real mean bitch. We don't know why. After each flash of lightning strikes, one family member gets the axe. But who's doing the killing? Why do I care?

- A man keeps a girl he's kidnapped locked in the basement of the home. She's fed once a week, raped and then put back in her cage. She watches as he drags back other victims and places them in the cage next to her. She babbles on about her lot in life, some vague reasoning why this guy does what he does and we get to see the guy torture a few people. That's it.

- Our last story involves the family at the beginning of our film. If you said to yourself 'No, that can't be right' when asking yourself if they'd meet their untimely demises at the hands of a neighbor who's pissed about a chucked away weed whacker, well, you'd be wrong. Well not entirely. He kills the family off with some very weak rationale, talking about the discarding of 'unimportant things.' That's all that you get really as a potential motive.

Look, I can appreciate the fact that there is an inherent challenge in making a short story within the anthology framework. But at the very least, there has to be some coherency to it. There was absolutely none of that here. No rhyme or reason to any of the proceedings and any and all dialogue was completely devoid of any clear, rational thought. Again, it seemed as though the dialogue was written in a stream of consciousness with no real regard to motive or character development. It was completely empty.

The film is getting a premiere via it's Facebook page on Oct. 1st. If any of this interests you in the slightest, you can check it out here: http://www.facebook.com/ThePerfectHouseMovie

I say avoid this stinkpile at all costs.

Cortez the Killer

Bereavement (2011)

2011-09-14T05:00:00.000-07:00

Fear 3/5
Gore 2/5
Entertainment 3/5
Creepiness 3/5

Bereavement is a film I've followed for awhile now as it's made its way through multiple festivals. Along with that, I've read a handful of reviews that have come out, most of which were full of effusive praise. Needless to say, I was intrigued by the premise and the claim that it has 'reinvented' the psycho/serial killer sub-genre. While it does have some interesting ideas, there was a huge logic gap that became too much to ignore and the film ended up being a mixed bag for me.

Our story begins with a young boy, outside in his backyard on a swing. His mother's inside the house, telling the soon-to-be babysitter about his remarkable condition. Namely, he has no sense of pain and can be virtually stabbed, beaten, and sliced without any sort of reaction. Basically, his pain receptors are dead. After that revelation, we cut to the boy in the backyard and a mysterious man approaches him claiming he needs help with getting ride of a bike and that he thinks the boy is the perfect candidate for it. Instead of gifting the boy, he throws him into his van and drives off.

Flash forward a few years and a young twenties something girl is dropped off at her aunt and uncles house. We learn that she is mourning the loss of her mother and father, the victims of a car accident. Along with her cousin, they welcome her in to help her cope and get her life back on track.

It's soon revealed who this man is that abducted the young boy. He's a bit of a hermit, hiding out in an old meat packing plant that his family used to run. But it doesn't stop there. It seems that he has a penchant for young girls, physically beating and bringing them back to the plant. Good intentions are not the order of the day and he strings them up and tortures them for awhile until a final death blow is deemed necessary. As he does so, the now older young boy watches on, with a shy and reserved but ultimately morbid curiosity.

Eventually, the paths of our mourning young girl and the killer cross and she's put into the same position as so many other girls. A local man and her uncle come to her rescue but without any success. And just when it seems like she is going to get out alive, the young boy fully 'turns' and becomes the same monster as the man that he observes daily.

I liked the kind of master/servant nature of the film with the boy going all Michael Myers-like at the end. Reviews that have taken issue with the film, point out the relative lack of motive behind the main killer's deeds. Other than some bible-like rhetoric and talking to the skulls of longhorn cows which are mounted throughout the plant, there really isn't a motive to be found. That didn't bother me so much as I'm not the type that needs sound reasoning spoon fed as long as the acting is convincing. And actor John Savage did just that, doing a phenomenal job playing the killer. I accepted him at face value as just being a fucked-up, crazy guy.

What did bother me, and what presented a substantial logic gap that I could not get over, is the fact that at no time, did ANYONE suspect this man of being a potential suspect. In this small town, with girls going missing left and right, and with a strange guy driving around an old time meat delivery truck and shacking up in his parents abandoned plant, not one single word was uttered about this man being strange or suspect. Not to mention the fact that it's obvious that he's been doing this for quite some time and it's not just some hobby he picked up recently to pass the time.

The film is expertly made and is definitely worth a watch. But I'm not convinced that this is the horror classic everyone is raving about. Sorry Charlie, but that logic gap is Mt. Everest big.

Cortez the Killer

Behold The Power And Glory Of Hard Rock Zombies!

2011-09-08T11:07:00.000-07:00

All this week, my good bud Geof Capodanno ( the main proprietor of The Man-Cave) is posting features about the notorious cheesefest, Hard Rock Zombies. What? You've never heard of it? Well I darn reckon' that it should get just as much notoriety if not MORE than Troll 2. I darn reckon' I tells ya!

Head on over to Geof's fantastic site and bask in the film's awesomeness. A retrospective by yours truly will be posted tonight. Tomorrow, a special interview with the film's lead will be featured. It promises to be the craziest interview to ever grace the fantastical site.

http://www.theman-cave.com/

Cortez the Killer

Creature (2011)

2011-09-03T09:50:00.000-07:00

Fear 0/5
Gore 2/5
Entertainment 1/5
Creepiness 0/5

A brief synopsis: 'A group of 6 friends drive out to the Louisiana swamp land for a weekend getaway. But instead of a fun-filled weekend, they learn about a local legend which happens to be all too real. Will they make it out alive?' Sound familiar? Coincidences aside, the film is littered with genre tropes and not a single thing about it is interesting. I can't even bring myself to write an entire review so let's just go down the laundry list of awful, shall we?

- The aforementioned group is comprised of 3 couples. All ripped from the pages of Abercrombie and each one screaming 'I'm a raging douchwad.'

- Along the way, they stop at a local gas station (which has no gas) and a general store. Oh hey kids! It's Sid Haig, playing the same ol' character he does in just about every film.

- Sid Haig and his mongoloid friends tell the kids about a local legend of a half-man, half-alligator roaming the swamps. Something about a love lorn dude who's soon to be wife (who also happens to be his sister, or something) was taken from him by an alligator. He tracked down the alligator and in his grief, he chopped him up and ate him. And then he transformed into alligator man!

- So of course the kids don't pay heed and head out to their camping spot. Sex and booze becomes the order of the day and one by one they get start getting picked off. Oh, and it's revealed that one of our campers isn't exactly who he says he is. Enter a really lame twist.

- OK, I'll admit. The creature effects were kind of cool but there is very little blood or gore. A cardinal sin for a creature feature.

- So the 'plan' is thwarted by the last surviving couple. So uninteresting the whole lot of them were I couldn't even tell you about any defining characteristics. OK, that's a lie. One of the girls looked like Megan Fox minus the thumb hands.

- Alligator man dies in a really boring, slow motion fashion as the earth opens up and swallows him whole. The end.

I have no idea how this film is getting a theatrical release this month. Someone did a casting couch favor or something. With all of the exceptional indie work that I've seen recently, it makes me a sad panda to see that shit like this receives notoriety over something original and unique. Avoid this shit sandwich at all costs.

Cortez the Killer

The Ward (2010)

2011-08-30T15:49:00.000-07:00

Fear 2/5
Gore 2/5
Entertainment 2/5
Creepiness 3/5

I've been looking forward to this one for awhile. I'm a huge John Carpenter fan and I awaited his return to feature length horror films with excitement albeit, with a heavy dose of trepidation. After all, over the past 15 years or so, his output has been spotty at best. Does the master of horror have anything left in the tank or is he going the way of most of his contemporaries, with no tricks left and with a clear sign that he should just retire to the horror filmmaker's old folks home? I wouldn't go that far in saying that he should quite the game altogether. On the contrary, he does some things with this film that I do like. But unfortunately, he does far too many things I don't which includes an ending which will elicit many a strong reaction from viewers who have seen this tactic one too many times before.

Our story begins with a teenage girl, shown in front of what we believe to be a childhood home. House ablaze, it's mere moments before the authorities come and haul her off to the loony bin.
She's taken to an asylum which will serve as her new home until she's deemed fit to return to society. The building is quickly established as being a character unto itself as it has that same sort of foreboding vibe that most great horror locales tend to give off. Carpenter from the onset using the setting to establish unease.

Getting settled in, our young lass gets acquainted with a handful of other girls that are also locked up. Not a whole lot is given in terms of background but general pictures are painted: one's antisocial, one's neurotic, one's a bit psychopathic and one's a bit of a bitch. Not really sure why the last one is in the mix exactly. As a matter of fact, outside of their general characterizations, there really isn't anything here that tells me they are truly a danger to themselves or society. Did they kill someone? Did they slit mommies throat? Did daddy not hug them enough? However, this is explained later on in our 'grand reveal' so I guess in hindsight it doesn't really matter but it's troubling in the early goings as you're wondering why they're really there.

As you can probably guess, there is a history at this place. In particular, a previous patient is discovered to be haunting the halls. Some signature Carpenter work here as he employs long hallways to create a wonder and fear as to what could possibly lie at the end of them. When our haunt is revealed we learn that she's there to exact revenge upon the girls for what they did to her. Or is she really?

Look, I don't want to give away the ending but we've seen it done before (hint--*SPOILER ALERT*--: it starred John Cusack a few years back and featured a cast of characters at a roadside lodge). When our 'twist' was revealed, it felt like a complete cop out. Despite the general conditions painted of the characters, Carpenter had been really effective in creating a certain mood and atmosphere. When the reveal hits, it made the prior work all for naught because you just couldn't believe it went the route it did. It's that terrible.

Cortez the Killer

Episode 5 of the PoT Podcast is Large and In Charge!

2011-08-27T05:00:00.000-07:00

The latest episode of the Planet of Terror podcast is all up in your bidness and is just in time for Saturday morning breakfast and coffee!

This episode features an interview with writer/director Philip Gelatt. His first EVER feature, The Bleeding House, premiered at this year's Tribeca Film Festival. It's a phenomenal thriller, featuring a family trying to hide a dark secret from their past and moving on with their lives in the process. But it's thwarted by a mysterious man who shows up at their home one day. Initially, he's charming. Ultimately though, he's revealed to have less than favorable intentions.

We talk about the idea behind the film, his experiences during production and our love/hate relationship with remakes. Silliness ensues as we talk about the masturbation scene in Gus Van Sant's Psycho remake.

Enjoy!

Slashers: Why The Bad Rap?

2011-08-24T17:40:00.000-07:00

‘The lowest form of humour’

- English writer Samuel Johnson in reference to the use of puns

The above phrase (substitute ‘humour’ for ‘horror’) often comes to mind when speaking to fans of horror regarding (arguably) its most oft maligned sub-genre: the slasher film. At times, it’s hard to refute that feeling or in some extreme cases, the outright hatred of it. Even though, by and large, zombie films have had a recent run of the generic, slashers continue to be the red headed step child of the horror genre. Why is that? Before we answer that question, a brief run down of its history is essential.

Let’s go all the way back to 1960 when a little film premiered that would pretty much set the blueprint for all slasher films that followed: Psycho. Sure, some films had slasher elements such as 1960’s Peeping Tom, but Psycho was what really gave the sub-genre a formula with which to start: take a socially maladjusted male (or female), a traumatic event which he/she is never able to shake, a disguise to hide behind, an assistant to this soon-to-be vehicle of death (AKA weapon of choice), and a group of people that antagonize him in some way which in turn, sets him/her off. Sure, certain elements have changed over the decades, with some being reflective of the times. But with Psycho, a formula was born.

After 1978’s defining Halloween, it was pretty much all downhill from there. OK that's not quite fair but we did see everything from copycats to outright rip-offs, Friday the 13^th, Offerings, Edge of the Axe to name a few; to sleazed out affairs like Aerobicide (AKA Killer Workout), Iced, and Evil Laugh. Movies were churned out en masse and this style of film was beaten like a dead horse. But hot damn I couldn’t get enough of them. They’re like horror’s equivalent of a box of chocolates: you always know what you’re going to get (yes, I just quoted Forrest Gump on a horror blog). It’s easy fun that relieves you from the mind numbing likes of horror’s more serious and exhausting fare (I’m looking at you Martyrs!). Even with the recent resurgence of the sub-genre, and its strict adherence to ‘the rules’, I can’t get enough of these films, good or bad.

So I ask you, why is this sub-genre so oftentimes dismissed? Lack of style or substance? Too paint-by-numbers? The films are mostly shit? What say yous?

For a more critical take and perspective, my friend Jayson over at the Basement of Ghoulish Decadence posted his reply: http://www.ghoulbasement.com/2011/08/re-slashers-why-bad-rap.html

Cortez the Killer

Dream Home (2010)

2011-08-18T18:26:00.000-07:00

Fear 3/5
Gore -- It's Off The Mutha Fuckin' Chains!
Entertainment 5/5
Creepiness 3/5
T&A Factor 2/5

Um, wow. I know I can be prone to hyperbole at times. But hot damn! Dream Home is the most zany, over-the-top, 'holy fuck did that just happen?' modern slasher film I've seen since Inside. Along with it's brutal killings it has completely fucknuts crazy scenes that borderline Dead Alive in terms of cartoony-ness. It will alternately make you squirm and laugh in its ridiculousness. And to top it all off, there is a bit of social commentary going on which will make you think it's not completely implausible in our current keeping up with the Joneses society, no matter how extremely grotesque and insane the film gets.

Meet Cheng. She works a thankless call center position and gets yelled at by people daily when she tries to up-sell existing bank customers with a new service. She also happens to work a part-time job to earn extra money. She has a superficial sexual relationship with an old childhood friend who happens to be a married man. She does so with the hope that he'll loan her some money. All of this is done with the hope that she'll be able to own her own condo in a fancy schmancy area of Tokyo complete with a harbor side view.

Interspersed with her day and night activities, is a bit of a back story. It seems her and her family used to live near the ocean. Even after growing up, she has never let go of a fond dream of one day owning her own picturesque place. She continues her goal as she heads out into the work force but now has to accommodate for her now widowed father and younger brother. But dad's health soon deteriorates and he eventually dies from a revealed sickness, acquired from years of working a factory job. So it's just her and broseph now. And a nice insurance check.

But it isn't quite enough for her to get her dream home. Despite pleas from her lender to look for a cheaper place, she's bound and determined to get a specific condo which she was introduced to by her agent only a few days ago. Against all rational thought (including living within her means), she does the most extreme thing she can think of to get her dream home: kill the tenants! But it's not kill the tenants and just squat in their home. No, no. It's a masterfully planned attack with a focus being on a certain section of the building. The goal? Off as many people as possible in order to bring property values down to a more affordable level. Genius!

Her assault actually begins at the start of our film (it does jump around a bit in terms of timelines) when she offs the night security guard in grisly fashion as she fastens a zip tie around his neck and he struggles with a box cutter to remove it and ends up stabbing himself in the neck. Gnarly. But flash forward and we see her take out a pregnant woman, her adulterous husband and their roommate. She primarily utilizes her trusty utility belt filled with hammers but she'll make due with other items she finds in the house: knives, golf clubs and a vacuum sealer which is used in the pregnant woman's suffocation. Yowzas!

Shit goes off the rails when her party crashing antics takes place with the neighbor next door. Two dopeheads are entertaining two completely smashed girls with the hope that a 4-way will ensue. One of the girls passes out on the couch and one of the guys ditches his buddy with the other girl and exits stage left to the bedroom. After another guy enters the house to deal some drugs, enter our determined home owner and all hell breaks loose. She takes a knife to the drug dealer and promptly disembowels him, stabs and hammers away at the passed out girl who's puked all over the place, and does the same to the other kid who's not getting any tail tonight. What a drag. If you're going to go out that way, might as well have gotten some tail beforehand. Right? Speaking of which, our now banging from behind guy gets one through his back AND has his penis removed and thrown onto the pillow next to our face down female. I won't play the spoils for the other, oh, 3 or so more body counts racked up. But lets just say things conclude with one of the best 2X4 impalements ever committed to film. So does Cheng get away with it and get her dream home? Well, you'll just have to watch silly.

You'll laugh, you'll cry (maybe not) but more likely hurl, Dream Home is one of the most insane horror films I've ever seen, slasher or otherwise. I saw it a few days ago and I still have the compulsive need to shower. The most epic tags ever to appear on a post in 5...4...3...2...1...

BTW, you can check out Dream Home now via NetFlix instant.

Cortez the Killer

Ghost From The Machine -- aka Phasma Ex Machina (2011)

2011-08-16T05:00:00.000-07:00

Fear 4/5
Gore 0/5
Entertainment 5/5
Creepiness 5/5

Ghost From the Machine is an original and ultimately heartbreaking ghost story. Subtle and nuanced, the film tells the story of an afflicted young man who's bound and determined to reach and bring back his parents from 'the other side' at the expense of maintaining personal relationships. You hope he achieves his singular purpose because if not, he stands to lose a lot. After many trials and some success, he learns a difficult lesson in that no one is meant to ever come back.

Our story begins with a funeral, our main character, a young twenty-something named Cody, is mourning the loss of his mother and father. Later on in our story, we come to find that they died in an accident that could have been avoidable. We flash forward in time to his home, his younger middle school aged brother asking him about a device that he's spent a considerable amount of time developing. It seems that Cody has been studying what defines supernatural occurrences and has narrowed down the void that prevents spirits from crossing over: the joining of negative ions and electromagnetic activity. This marriage, he believes, will serve as a bridge and bring back dear ol' mom and dad.

After multiple failed attempts, Cody presses on as he visits a local thrift store to fish for parts. He figures that something has to give and that all of his careful planning, mapping, fizzed out and short circuited attempts and re-attempts will finally work out. It must. It has to. His grief has cost him friends including a girlfriend and if he doesn't start being more responsible, protective services is not too far away from removing his younger brother from the childhood home that they share.

A tip from the thrift store clerk finds Cody visiting an old tech nerd, a man who's asked to catalog and maintain outdated military equipment just in case it's ever needed again. In his possession, the man has a solar panel which will provide a better energy source for Cody's machine. The old tech nerd sells him the part and Cody returns to his garage to continue work on his machine.

It seems that his latest addition is the magic trick. Strange noises and voices are now heard regularly in the house. Radios turned off come back on. Our old tech nerd back at home, finds his dead wife's framed picture inexplicably re-positioned in the living room. One particular morning, his breakfast bowl takes a trip across the kitchen table as he's reading the paper. Cody takes note of things happening in his own home but they don't compare to the more violent instances of paranormal activity (sorry, I couldn't resist) that he and his brother are about to face.

Our widowed tech nerd awakens one night to find his dead wife washing dishes in the kitchen. At first, he can't believe what he's seeing. After a couple of days and some initial hesitation, he begins to settle in to his old life. After all, he had plans and his wife was unfairly taken from him. Although his curiosity gets the best of him one day and he ventures out in search of how this all happened. Being the science man that he is, he takes an EMF reader and scours the neighborhood. Who do you think he bumps in to, working in his garage? Initially, Cody shoos him off but eventually and after another visit, he tells him how it all works.

While our tech guy carries on with his now returned wife, Cody and his brother encounter some spirits that have less than favorable intentions. Instead of welcoming back mom and dad, they come face to face with the previous occupants of their home, an old couple who ran a day care. It seems that some wrongdoings were carried out there and the husband turned to violent action to resolve their problems. Cody realizes there is only one way to get rid of their unwanted guests and that is to destroy the machine. But as he struggles with if he should really destroy it and keeping it going for the tech guy now turned friend, he takes his attention off the one thing he should have taken care of all along: his brother. Our film ends in heartbreaking fashion as Cody loses out entirely. But it seems like someone might be willing to pick up the reins on his obsessive project.

At it's heart, Ghost From The Machine is a more character based film than pure horror. Sure, it has its scares and genuinely creepy moments, but it's the focus on the characters which really drives the film. When I stated that it's subtle and nuanced, I meant it is in such away that it never really force feeds you the 'why' of Cody being so single minded. You just know that he is extremely grief stricken and in some way, feels responsible for what happened. The same with our widowed tech geek. You never really know the ins and outs of his relationship with his wife. You just know that she was the love of his life. The horror elements are balanced carefully with our character driven moments and the filmmaker pulled off this balancing act exceptionally well. Had he not done so, the ending would not have packed as much of an emotional of a punch as needed. Truly not a made for Hollywood ending.

Ironically, it's getting the remake treatment through Universal Pictures. It will be interesting to see what comes of the ending. Regardless, I can't wait to see what else is in store first time feature length filmmaker Matt Osterman.

More info about the film including release info can be found via its website: http://www.ghostfromthemachine.com/

Cortez the Killer

News You Can Use!

2011-08-12T15:46:00.000-07:00

From the folks at Fatal Pictures comes the film Familiar. I'm excited to check this one out for a couple of reasons. The first being the talented folks behind the production. We reviewed their fantastic short Worm not too long ago (click here for the skinny). The second, it stars Robert Nolan who played the twisted lead in the aforementioned film. I haven't seen a performance quite like his in some time and he just played his character with such maniacal brilliance that I couldn't wait to see what he did next. And it looks like I might find out soon enough.

Art for the film can be seen to the very left of this here post and a brief synopsis and more about the film's details can be found below.

FATAL PICTURES presents FAMILIAR

Through a series of tragic events a middle aged man grows to suspect the negative impulses plaguing his mind may not be his own.

Starring: Robert Nolan Astrida Auza & Cathryn Hostick

Cinematography & Co Producer: Michael Jari Davidson Special Effects by: Ryan Louagie Carlos Henriques & Steven Dawley Produced by: Zach Green Written & Directed by: Richard Powell

http://www.fatalpictures.com/
http://www.fatalpictures.blogspot.com/

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Congrats to our friends over at MonsterPants Productions on getting distribution for their zany Christsploitation horror romp, Satan Hates You through TLA 's Danger After Dark imprint.

Be on the lookout for this one in October as it gets a proper DVD and VOD release. More news to come.

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Friend of PoT and fellow blogger Joe Lopez aka the Terror Scribe, is unleashing his first production, a short film, upon the unsuspecting masses! I had a chance to check it out and it's a neat little nightmarish flick with Lovecraftian themes.

More info about it including an upcoming screening can be found below.

A rare book dealer receives a strange book with a small note that reads only, "The world must know." As he attempts to decipher the contents, he finds himself faced with deeper and darker levels of occult knowledge that chips at his sanity.

“Annotated”, a short film of Lovecraftian horror adapted from an original story, is the first film by a dedicated collection of first-time film makers. Calling themselves “the TerrorScribe Mafia,” the group is made up of writer/director Joe Lopez, cinematographer Keith Bates, makeup effects artist Tammy Dupal and producer Stacia Langenheder.

“Annotated” is also an official selection of the 2011 Unnameable Blood Bath Film Festival which will be held August 20th at the historic Texas Theater in Dallas, Texas.

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And last, but certainly not least, the fantastic short Alice Jacobs is Dead can now be streamed for FREE on Hulu (review here).

I've long been a fan of this film and I had the honor and privilege of screening it at last year's edition of the Crypticon Horror Convention in Seattle. Starring Adrienne Barbeau and John Lazar, Alice tells the story of a doctor who's determined to find a cure for a disease that has afflicted much of humanity. But what lengths will he go to find one and will it compromise his life in more ways than one?

Grave Encounters (2011)

2011-08-09T05:00:00.000-07:00

Fear 3/5
Gore 1/5
Entertainment 2/5
Creepiness 3/5

Another in a line of recent films that I've been hotly anticipating, Grave Encounters seeks to put a bit of a spin on the found footage sub genre. How exactly do you say? Well for starters, it's a bit of a mockumentary at the onset. Not really Spinal Tap levels of silliness but its not too far off. After a television exec gives a bit of background around a group who were shooting a pilot for a new paranormal investigation show, we are shown a video which we're told has 'not been doctored in any way.' The beginning introduces us to our cast of characters and they're all what you'd expect, characters ripped straight from Syfy and Travel channel's finest and most hokiest: a female occult expert, a psychic, a tech guy and a cameraman. The team is rounded out by Lance Preston, the lead investigator. He's not too far off from the douchebaggery that is this dude:

Lance begins talking about Collingwood Psychiatric Hospital, the site of mass lobotomies perpetrated by the resident doctor and the location of their most haunted shoot to date. They go through the routine of setting up their equipment and listening to the stories of caretakers and kids who are squatting in the facility. But when the camera stops rolling after a particular segment we see that the whole lot of them are basically full of shit. The girl isn't really a hardcore occultist, the psychic puts on this elaborate act when entering the building and walking through rooms, and our lead doesn't really seem all that committed to capturing real paranormal occurrences. Rather it seems that he's more focused on selling the idea of his show.

As you can imagine, the tables get turned and our group really comes across a horror far greater than any simple bumps and thumps in the night. But before that happens, they get locked in for the evening by the caretaker and he's told to come back at 6am sharp. They spend a significant amount of time surveying the area with Lance completely in character, his hokey, spaced out, William Shatner-like dramatically paused delivery in full effect. You're just waiting for something to happen but nothing does. This is where the filmmakers (dubbed The Vicious Brothers) do a commendable job drawing everything out and creating a bit of a slow burn. They know, that to give you the goods immediately, would ruin the film and render actions completely pointless. For the film truly to be effective, we need to see this hokey, halfheartedly believing group really break down emotionally and come to realize they aren't getting out alive.

Our investigation is in full swing when supernatural occurrences start off pretty tame: a moving wheelchair, a closing door, a brush of someone's hair. But things soon get more violent and our crew comes face to face with some of the institution's lingering residents. The first batch of scares are really effective and you are just waiting for the tipping point where this group just completely melts down and loses all hope and rational thought.

But this is where the film ultimately fails. Yes the characters 'freak out' but you don't really feel like they are breaking down and really away all that much from character. Even Lance is more concerned with capturing everything on camera. It's not until the fateful end that we really see him breaking down. For it to break away from the hokey nature it set out with you'd really need to be sold on the fear of the group with their mental faculties just completely breaking down. That never really happens. What would have worked to great effect is if the group actually had more infighting or even more terrifying than that, so determined with his footage, Lance lashes out at one of the group members and causes mortal harm. Something, anything to convey that some or all had completely lost it would have worked wonders. Instead, what we're left with are some effective scares and essentially a long episode of Ghost Adventures.

A tough balancing act and transition for sure, but one that ultimately needed to happen. Unfortunately, the film as a whole just doesn't work. I do appreciate the attempt here at doing something different. And I'll definitely keep tabs on what the meanly moniker-ed Vicious Brothers do in the future. I do think there is enough talent here to pull of something really great.

Cortez the Killer

Start Your Weekend Off Right!

2011-08-06T06:58:00.000-07:00

So you may find this hard to believe but I dig things other than horror films. I know, I know. Shocking. One of them is heavy metal. But this post is the furthest thing from jean jackets and bullet belts. The other thing I like is cheesy electro pop. Stuff that's catchy as herpes and gets your head a bobbin'. So how in the eff are both of these related? Well one of my favorite metal blogs, MetalSucks (irony folks) posted a video by some dude named Miles Fisher. Not only are his videos hilarious, but they also have a horror aspect to them.

First up, is the video for his single New Romance. Not only does it have a Saved by The Bell theme (even lifting scenes from the actual show), but the main characters are offed in Final Destination-like fashion.

Next up, is the video for the single This Must Be The Place (a cover of a Talking Heads tune). It features an American Psycho theme (again lifting elements) and features a pretty dead on ringer and impersonation of Christian Bale by Miles himself. The hooker scene in the bedroom is fucking hilarious! ENJOY!

Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil (2010)

2011-08-05T05:00:00.000-07:00

Fear 0/5
Gore 5/5
Entertainment 5/5
Creepiness 1/5

Jumpin' jehosaphat, wow wee!! Tucker and Dale is a rip roarin', big ol' jug of moonshine drinkin', bust out your banjo and get on down with some square dancin', good time. Seriously folks, this film has instantly become one of my all-time favorite horror comedies. You'll be slappin' yo momma if you miss this one!

Kicking off our backwoods fiasco, is a group of douchey (and I mean douchey of the highest order, like popped Izod collars levels of douche) college kids on their way out to a cabin in the Appalachian Mountains for a little weekend getaway and hanky panky. Why they chose Deliverance Land who knows. Along the way they totally flip out as they forgot the beer! Bummer bro! So they stop at a little roadside shop where they run into some locals and they immediately peg them as hicks. Kids today, so judgmental!

On their way out, they run into Tucker and Dale, two best friends that want nothing more out of life than to drink beer, fish and fix up an old vacation house they bought so that they can enjoy it any ol' time they pleases. Dale is a bit of a shy guy, not too self-assured and definitely not the lady magnet. Tucker dares him to go over to one of the ladies and talk to her but before he can string something coherent together, the kids flip out because (of course) every country dude is out to rape you and make you squeal like a pig.

So the douchey kids head out and eventually make it to their destination. Tucker and Dale find themselves not too far away from the gang but they aren't there to make their weekend hell. Instead, they're focused on fixing the house, doin' some fishin' and beer drankin'. But their peaceful weekend is interrupted that night when the kids go skinny dippin' and one of the girls decides to jump off a large rock. She bumps her head on the way down and Dale jumps into the water to rescue her. He then pulls her unconscious body back into their fishing boat. The rest of the kids think that they've captured her and are intent on carrying out unmentionable things. Unmentionable I say! But all they do is take her back to their place to treat her head knock and let her rest. Awwwwww.

The girl awakes the next day and instantly, Dale is shown to be smitten. Against Tucker's wishes, he insists that she stays there and get some rest. Here is where the fun comes in: the rest of the douchey gang plot multiple attempts to rescue the girl from the perceived evil clutches of our good natured backwoodsmen and in the process, they become the evil that Tucker and Dale find themselves fending against. Sort of. Because the hilarity comes in the form of the clumsy kids who actually fumble and bumble their way to their own demise. It's enough to make Wile E. Coyote blush with jealousy. Self impalement, a head first dive into a wood chipper, a swing, duck and a miss from a lawn edger and subsequent facelift. And even though the kids essentially die by their own idiotic hands, Tucker and Dale come under the scrutiny of the local sheriff. But even that doesn't last long as another series of whacked out, cartoon-y killings take place. And as our film nears its final act, we learn that one of the kids has an unfortunate tie to the local area and why he's so particularly hellbent (even though the other kids want to skedaddle) on killing our reluctant heros.

Smart, funny and just so much damn fun, Tucker and Dale is one of the best combinations of horror and comedy that I've seen in some time. Shaun of the Dead levels of hilarity here folks and it just might be even better. When I first watched the trailer many moons ago, I thought they'd be up against some minions of the undead or horrific monsters. Loved the twist (and I'm not giving anything away by saying that) of the douche baggy kids ultimately being the worst enemy. Classic flick.

Cortez the Killer

Grave Encounters: Coming Your Way Soon!

2011-08-03T17:52:00.001-07:00

We featured the trailer for Grave Encounters on here quite some time ago. It genuinely freaked me out (check it out for yourself below). I mean just look at that face!

After playing a few festivals, it will have a small theatrical run and a showing via Tribeca film's new On Demand service. All the deets are as follows:

The film debuts theatrically with special midnight screenings on Friday August 19^th and Saturday August 20^th in New York (Village East Cinema) and Los Angeles (Sunset 5), followed by a week-long engagement in New York City beginning September 9^th. Do you want GRAVE ENCOUNTERS to come to your hometown? Join the thousands of fans around the country who have already requested screenings via an Eventful DemandIt campaign, which can be accessed via the film’s official movie site. GRAVE ENCOUNTERS also becomes available nationwide via Tribeca On Demand starting August 25, as well as iTunes, Amazon and many other outlets.

Official Synopsis:

Lance Preston and the crew of "Grave Encounters", a ghost-hunting reality television show, are shooting an episode inside the abandoned Collingwood Psychiatric Hospital, where unexplained phenomena has been reported for years.

All in the name of good television, they voluntarily lock themselves inside the building for the night and begin a paranormal investigation, capturing everything on camera. They quickly realize that the building is more than just haunted - it is alive - and it has no intention of ever letting them leave. They find themselves lost in a labyrinth maze of endless hallways and corridors, terrorized by the ghosts of the former patients. They soon begin to question their own sanity, slipping deeper and deeper into the depths of madness, ultimately discovering the truth behind the hospital’s dark past…and taping what turns out to be their final episode.

Written and directed by The Vicious Brothers, GRAVE ENCOUNTERS has redefined the found footage horror genre, being hailed as "the scariest film since ‘The Ring’ by New York Press.

Stake Land (2010)

2011-08-01T16:03:00.000-07:00

Fear 2/5
Gore 3/5
Entertainment 2/5
Creepiness 2/5

Stake Land is a film that has been on my radar for quite some time now. It generated high praise when it first started playing festivals last year and it was later picked up by Glass Eye Pix for distribution. In addition to IFC's announcement that it would be featured as a part of it's midnight series, many critics have hailed it as a return to a more serious take on the bloodsucker story along with being one of the most gripping post apocalyptic films ever made. Needless to say, my soaking hot pants of anticipation became even more soiled. Did it deliver? Read on.

Our story starts with a monologue about the current state of the world, painted very vaguely by our narrator. Upon conclusion, we bare witness to a traumatic experience as we see a young man watch the vicious slaughter of his family at the hands of our blood sucking centerpieces. Arriving on the scene is a rough and tumble man who quickly makes work of them. It's obvious that he knows a thing or to about how to get rid of these pesky things. After saving the boy, he takes him under his wing, teaching him all that he knows about them and the 'rules' he lives by. But no rules are ever really explained. All that we know is that a stake breaking the chest plate is the way to go. The boy affectionately takes to him, referring to him as Mister and they form a bond close to that of father and son.

Out on the open road, we learn that the pair are headed to Canada, a place dubbed as the 'New Eden.' Apparently, it's free from vampires and another source of concern, rogue religious cults that are out for their own gain. The downfall of civilization and how the vampires and cults came to be is never fully explained. Along the way, they pick up a nun (Kelly McGillis), a pregnant woman (Danielle Harris) and a black man left to die in a roadside restroom. We follow them on their harrowing trek to the Great White North as they contend with the aforementioned obstacles.

I'm not going to sugar coat anything so I'm going to just come out and say it: this film is painfully boring. None of the characters are interesting in the least bit and they are so thinly painted that it's hard to invest yourself fully. For a post apocalyptic type of film, that is a death sentence. Add in multiple monologues about life, death, and perseverance that sound like fortune cookie inserts and a irritatingly repetitive soundtrack, and you have one of my most disappointing film watching experiences of this year. I can't express enough how maddening the soundtrack is. In any film, a soundtrack should be used to heighten emotional effect. It was exhaustively used in 10 min. intervals throughout the film to make EVERY scene seem as important as the one that preceded it. I don't think I've ever been so irritated by a film's soundtrack.

Sure it was nice to see vampires be a real threat for once (the creature designs were excellent) and not some brooding teen or euro trash douche bag. But this film fails at the two basic principles of filmmaking: tell a good story and make characters that matter. I won't even go into the ending that gave me angry fits and ended the film on a limp note. I think you get the idea. This film was incredibly disappointing.

Cortez the Killer

Good Neighbors (2011)

2011-07-27T12:00:00.000-07:00

Fear 0/5
Gore 2/5
Entertainment 3/5
Creepiness 2/5

Good Neighbors is one of the most bizarre moving watching experiences I've had this year. Labeled as a comedy, crime and thriller picture (in that order) on IMDB, I was surprised to see it be anything but and more of a thriller with a small sprinkling of horror thrown in for good measure. Funny this was absolutely not.

Our film starts by introducing us to our primary cast of characters residing in an apartment building: a quirky, obsessed with her cats woman; a quiet, paraplegic man that she maintains an awkward friendship with; and a young man who's just moved in, equally as quirky and not particularly adept at social situations. After multiple hallway run-ins, our newest resident becomes bound and determined to get to know them better. Despite a few rebuffs, the three agree to have dinner with each other one night.

Our young man is the first to arrive at the dinner party, indulging in a bit of wine and talking to the paralyzed resident, outright asking him how he came to be so. After apologizing profusely and blaming the wine on his sensitive question, the wheelchair bound man tells him he was in a car accident years ago which killed his wife. Our cat crazed woman arrives not too much longer thereafter and the trio end up spending a nice evening together.

In the backdrop of these events, is a serial killer who's running around town, raping and viciously murdering young women. Our socially inept guy becomes found of our feline loving woman and he offers to walk her home every night from her job at the local Chinese restaurant. As the death toll rises, and the local detective becomes interested in our team of three, we start to wonder if someone is hiding a dark secret.

An alcoholic, obsessed about her ex next door neighbor has a seething hatred for her neighbor's cats. After multiple warnings and profanity laced tirades, she decides to take matters into her own hands. Our cat crazed woman awakes one morning to find her cats dead. She quickly hatches a plan to exact revenge to kill her and make the whole thing look as though the local serial killer is to blame. As she executes her plan and then makes her escape from the woman's apartment out through the back fire escape, we find out another person in our trio isn't who they say they are and things take an even more bizarre turn. Of course, I won't play the spoils here.

The main issue I had with the film is that there was no character development beyond the aforementioned surface level characteristics. There was no real depth to them and their bizarre actions are never fully explained. Even when our 'main' killer is revealed, it's a total head scratching moment as there was nothing concrete that you could point to to explain why they acted so against character.

Still, the film kept my attention throughout and had its moments. If you like quirky indie whodunits, I guess you could do a lot worse. I just don't find myself revisiting it anytime soon.

Cortez the Killer

I Spit On Your Grave (2010)

2011-07-26T05:00:00.000-07:00

Fear 0/5
Gore 4/5
Entertainment 0/5
Creepiness 0/5

You ever have those films where you forget about the fact that you've watched it almost instantaneously after doing so, then you reflect back months later and you say to yourself 'Oh yeah, I remember watching that. Meh.' That was me with this flick.

The original exploitation classic, 1978's I Spit On Your Grave (aka Day of The Woman), stands as one of the most difficult film watching experiences I've ever had. I haven't revisited it since I saw it about 10 years ago and I don't intend to anytime soon. When the remake of this film was announced a couple years back, I immediately felt like it was doomed to failure. How could it possibly recreate the intensity of that film and not get an X or unrated tag? Cynicism towards remakes notwithstanding, I just couldn't understand why anyone would want to 'update' this tale and (hopefully) release it to a mass audience. I still stand by my initial assertion that the film has a kick ass title and the only reason why it was remade is because it would make money and put butts in the seat.

The film pretty much follows the course of the original: an attractive young woman heads out to the countryside, in need of some alone time to finish a novel she's working on. Along the way, she stops at the local gas station to re-fill, ogling local men are shown nearby chomping at the bit to get a piece of her. Just when she thinks she'll have a peaceful and productive weekend, her world is thrown into chaos when the men viciously rape her and leave her for dead. And, as is with the original, she doesn't die and it's payback time.

The main issues I took with the film are two-fold. One, the men weren't very menacing. Strip away some of their stubby facial hair and a bit of dirt from them and they could easily star in any day time soap opera episode. Second, when the excrement hit the fan, our lead 'heroine' never really displays any true fear of these men and what it is she may or may not be actually in for. What is displayed felt forced and tantamount to someone just screaming for no real reason. It's hard to actually feel any sort of fear or worry for this woman. What made the original so memorable was that you could actually see the fear in Camille Keaton's eyes. And her screams. So gut wrenching.

Outside of an interesting acid bath kill scene, there is nothing here worth seeing. Don't waste your time.

Cortez the Killer

Exorcismus -- aka The Possession of Emma Evans (2010)

2011-07-23T12:20:00.000-07:00

Fear 3/5
Gore 1/5
Entertainment 5/5
Creepiness 3/5

I know what you're thinking after reading the post title: another demonic possession film involving a young girl? Haven't we seen this 1,000 times over before? For the most part, Exorcismus pretty much follows suit with just about every possession flick you've ever seen. But the real kicker comes with the twist which is revealed around the 3rd act. And boy, is it a doozy.

Emma is your typical teenage girl: 'rebellious', a Hot Topic frequent buyer and she loves really bad corporate butt rock. She likes to hang with friends, get high and bust out the ouija board, hoping to conjure up some supernatural shenanigans. After a hard night of partying and not remembering exactly what it is her and her friends did the night before, she awakes in her house. It's not too much longer thereafter, she gets into a fight with dear ol' mum and dad. But before she can storm out of the house, she hits the floor and starts convulsing with foam spewing from her mouth. That can't be good.

Mom, dad and little brother rush her to the hospital where they're met by the girl's uncle who happens to be a priest. After running some tests, the doc tells the fam that he has no idea what befell the young girl. Before they head home, the girl has a chat with her uncle and he assures her that all will be right and that he's there for her should she need anything.

When she returns home, things hit the proverbial fan. Emma starts seeing things, has horrible visions, and comes close to drowning her little brother in the bath tub. Things come to a horrible head when she sends her brother's soccer ball in the direction of the street and he goes chasing after it. What do you suppose happens next?

Not paying heed to her cries of something going wrong or the offer of help from the priestly uncle, mom and dad are now supportive of giving their daughter some divine intervention. The uncle only has a couple of rules: he must be alone when performing the rite and he must be allowed to videotape. Kinky.

At first, the uncle's actions seem to be keeping the horned one at bay and lessening his grasp on the soul of the young girl. But when things don't change for the better and our young girl finds what it is the uncle's been actually recording, well, our story is turned on it's head as his true intentions are revealed. Since this is the greatest payoff the film has to offer (and because it 100% hinges on it), I won't give it away. Let's just say the priest is revealed to have less than good intentions and the video he's captured is for purely self-serving gain. Things get out of hand though as the man from downstairs grows in power and ultimately, our padre is served his just desserts.

A unique take on the possession film (more for the gut punching twist than anything), I was presently surprised by Exorcismus. It's definitely not the same ol' same ol'. Check it out now on various cable VOD services.

Cortez the Killer

TrollHunter (2010)

2011-07-12T16:09:00.000-07:00

Fear 3/5
Gore 2/5
Entertainment 5/5
Creepiness 3/5

With a summer full of franchises, sequels, fighting robots and lots o' explosions, it’s refreshing to find a film that has the ‘big’ summer movie feel to it just without some of the accompanying bells and whistles. TrollHunter is the most fun I’ve had this year watching a summertime flick. And I didn't actually have to step foot into a theater!

The beginning of our story kicks off with us following a group of documentary filmmakers as they cover stories of illegal bear poaching in the Norwegian countryside. Folks are disgusted at the actions of these illegal hunters and will stop at nothing to catch them in the act. Little do they know it’s all a government backed ruse that's steeped in misdirection, aiming to cover up what’s really going on.

Our filmmakers roll into a mobile trailer park later that day after receiving a report of a man who may know more about what’s going on and may have information about this group of illegal poachers. After being met with silence when they knock on his trailer door, they hang around the site until he decides to head out later. When he does so, they follow him out into the now darkened woods and find that our hunter is dealing with a nuisance far greater than any bear.

The group convinces the rugged and rough man named Hans to let them tag along and document his story and what it is that he does. At first, he’s reluctant but the kids charm him a bit and he thinks it’s high time for the people of Norway to know about what’s really going on. He only has 1 rule: they can’t have the blood of Christians (I had to look up this requirement to see how it fit into the overall folklore). After confirming that neither of them are of the Christian faith (with one of them joking as they ask ‘What about Muslims?’), the group head out together.

As we follow our group in their adventures in staving off a troll advancement (which is pegged as rather odd as they are fairly reclusive), we learn more about Hans and the hazards of his job. No extra pay or health coverage. Long hours, fighting crap weather and terrain, his is a job that is virtually thankless. And to make matters worse, to aid him in getting close to these creatures, he has to concoct a body wash that's made from troll piss. Truly, his is a job that is devoid of any sort of glory or sexiness.

Our adventure gets more hair raising as the group is met with certain peril as Hans must get close to a troll to extract a blood sample (this is part of his 'mission' as scientists seek to understand them more). After this and a harrowing trek through a cave, the ultimate objective still awaits them: kill the 'mega' troll who's destroying the countryside and on the verge of making himself known to the people of Norway. A big no-no.

TrollHunter is the quintessential adventure film and surprisingly, it isn't bogged down or cheapened with bad CGI. The effects are incredible as is the sound. It’s having a limited theatrical run currently and if it’s playing in your area, do everything you can to check it out. It's also available through various VOD services. Check it out. Check it out NOW.

Cortez the Killer

Absentia (2011)

2011-07-07T15:51:00.000-07:00

Fear 5/5
Gore 1/5
Entertainment 5/5
Creepiness 5/5

A film is here to save me from the recent string of mediocrity that I've bared witnessed to and it is called Absentia. Atmospheric, captivating, terrifying and full of suspense, it's one of the most original stories to play out on the small screen that I've had the privilege of viewing this year.

Tricia is a wife soon to be formally removed of such a status. You see, her husband has been missing for 7 years. No clues as to where he is. No goodbye note, message or text. No body found as a victim of some cruel crime. We're introduced to her at the beginning of our story, a woman still clinging to (maybe) a sliver of hope as she tacks up the last batch of missing signs to telephone poles and bulletin boards. But it soon becomes obvious that she submitted to the grieving process long before. And filling out a formal 'in absentia' court document is the last remaining seal on the proverbial coffin.

Coming to live with her is her younger sister Callie, a drifter who's recovering from a drug addiction. Callie is there to help seal the deal, getting her to move on with her life and out of the place where she and her husband called home. With the mention of the court document on it's way and insurance payments which will subsequently come, her husband (named Daniel) starts appearing in the house, a ghostly white figure with hollowed out eyes. It's almost as if Daniel doesn't want this last bit of formality to occur to make things 'official.' In addition to showing up in the house, he appears as Tricia is signing the now arrived document at her lawyer's office, Daniel standing over her shoulder in obvious anger and disapproval. What plays to such great effect in these scenes are that there are no jolts which are accompanied by a discordant soundtrack. They're genuine scares designed to rattle your cage without a moment of anticipation.

So now that the deal is done, Tricia looks forward to moving on with her life. But things take a turn for the bizarre when Callie goes out jogging one day, through a stretch of tunnel that runs under a highway and connects to a city park. On her return back through, she comes upon a man first believed to be homeless and in need of food. The man strangely asks for a 'trade' and she takes it as nothing more than going home and bringing back some leftovers from dinner that night. She does so, and sets the food near the start of the tunnel when she does not see the man in the same position where she left him. Another man with a garbage bag sets down his own offering and gives the woman a vague warning before running off.

If that wasn't strange enough, Tricia agrees to a date with the lead detective that was working her husband's case. As they head out for the night, they run into Daniel, in the street, pale, bloodied and only wearing underwear. They rush him to the hospital and find him severely malnourished with some strange artifacts lodged in his stomach. Thinking her husband had finally come home for good, she dials family to tell them of the news. When she gets him home, she finds that he's been trapped in another world and the thing which kept him there is not about to let him go.

I won't delve too much more into the story but the reveal of what it is that kept him confined to the tunnel space (along with many other victims) is done really well as a lot is left to the imagination. Sure we see bits and flashes of the creature but the explanation from Daniel of what 'it' looks like, is enough to send your imagination running wild. Which is another element that plays to such great effect. For to have a CGI'd to hell monster or something that is rubbery in the vein of Roger Corman, would have rendered things (and all the great suspense built to this point) all for naught and just plain silly. But do you know what's even more of a mind screw than all of that? By film's end, the sister has resorted to drugs to help her cope and the severly fragile state of Tricia, which very well could have warped her perception of reality, leaves you wondering, 'Was there an actual monster all along?'

See this film. This is the antidote for all things boring, dull, remade, rehashed and unoriginal. Add another to my year end 'best of' list.

For more information about Absentia, check out the film's website: http://www.absentiamovie.com/

Cortez the Killer

Quarantine 2: Terminal (2011)

2011-06-28T16:53:00.000-07:00

Fear 0/5
Gore 2/5
Entertainment 1/5
Creepiness 0/5

The first Quarantine was an exact remake of [REC]. Sure, different camera angles were employed and of course, different actors. But it's pretty much the same exact flick. Both films were great in developing tension and fear (gotta tip my hat in the direction of [REC] as I think it did a better job) and both were really solid films. So when [REC 2] came out, it was inevitable that a sequel to Quarantine would soon be announced. However, Quarantine 2 is it's own beast and doesn't follow the storyline of [REC 2] whatsoever. It's problem lies in the fact that it does absolutely nothing to expand upon the original and it's exceptionally dull.

Our film starts off with a group of passengers boarding a plane. Final destination: Nashville. The passengers are pretty much of the garden variety: douchebag dude, token black guy, little kid who's traveling by himself, an old couple, etc. etc. One of the passengers is supposedly a teacher, carrying on his classes' hamster. Why he's carrying a hampster onto an airplane no one knows. Actually, yes you do. 'Cause guess what spreads our infection?

What's a good infection flick without a case of mouth herpes?

After this piece of ridiculousness is discovered, another one of our passengers who's a drunken mess before he even boards the plane, assists the man with putting the cage into the overhead bin and is subsequently bitten. Guess who's going cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs first? Before that happens and after take off, absolute nonsense transpires as a couple makes out in their seats and the stewardesses get into an argument with a dude who refuses to get off his cellphone mid-air. Who has witnessed anything like this ever happen on a plane before? OK, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit. I once saw a guy dangle his baby over the center aisle while a plane was taking off. Why the fuck would anyone do that? I digress. My point is this took me out of the film at a time when tensions should have risen.

So our drunken passenger eventually goes all haywire and the passengers band together to take him down and subdue him. They then throw him in the airplane's bathroom. The pilots make an emergency landing at a smaller, nearby airport and almost immediately, they're quarantined (duh) and guarded by some military folks. As you can imagine, more of their party gets infected, one by one they're killed off, people make dumb decisions, and only one gets out. The end.

The only connection between the events in this film and the first is one our supposed teacher watches the events of the apartment lockdown from the first film live from his laptop as it's happening. And there is another mention when it's revealed later in the film who he actually is. But that's about it. It doesn't do itself any favors by not expanding upon what we already know from the original. I appreciate the fact that it tried to be it's own animal as I think it would have crushed under it's own weight had it taken upon the concepts presented in [REC 2]. It's obvious this film geared itself toward's a mainstream release. But as the end product shows, it's only worthy of direct to DVD.

Cortez the Killer

Enter The Taint!

2011-06-24T14:45:00.000-07:00

From now through the end of June, you can check out one of the zaniest, most ricockulous films I've ever seen absolutely FREE. Here is a little quote-y, thing-a-ma-jig I said immediately after watching it:

'The most deplorable, disgusting, trashfest I've ever seen. I fucking loved it!'

Check it out on the player below or clicky the little icon in the lower right hand corner after hitting play to fully erect!

The Taint from Dan Nelson on Vimeo.

The Silent House -- aka La Casa Muda (2010)

2011-06-21T16:37:00.001-07:00

Fear 4/5
Gore 1/5
Entertainment 3/5
Creepiness 3/5

Described as being filmed in one continuous shot (no edits or cut aways), with a tagline of 'Fear in Real Time' and with a well cut trailer that piqued my interest, The Silent House got thrown onto my 'must see' list for the year. The claim of one continuous shot is an interesting one (I mean, who could deny such a claim if you were at all involved with the production?). It did feel as though it made no error in what it wanted to do filming-wise as it sweeps and zooms around certain characters and also in the mirroring of their body movements and flow as they explore a house that isn't quite right. Along with some really great use of shadows and sound, The Silent House is a uniquely produced film but one that ultimately falls flat.

We are introduced to an old man and his daughter as they walk through a country field and out to a cottage in the middle of Nowheresville. We learn, as they briefly meet with the owner of the house who's looking to sell it, that they are there to renovate over the next few days. After speaking with him, they head inside and find the house dark and boarded up. They settle in, take brief residence in the study, and make plans to start early the next morning. They have no idea that they won't make it through the night.

As the young woman gets ready for bedtime, and dad has already dozed off, she starts hearing strange noises coming from the room above them. Dad initially shoos her away when she wakes him up but he gets concerned after she does so a second time after hearing even louder noises. He gets up and cruises upstairs to learn the cause of his daughter's fear. From the room below, she hears a struggle and a subsequent yell and thud as daddy hits the floor. Freaked out, she makes a dash to the front door but finds it locked. After hearing some children's music playing from upstairs and investigating it only to find no one, she comes back downstairs and into the study. She finds dad bound at the hands with blood covering his face.

Frantic and trying to find a way out, she explores the rest of the house with her trusty neon lantern. What plays to such great effect in these moments is that she comes across antique mirrors and pictures and as she does, you expect to see something in the reflection or behind her but you don't. You're constantly thinking 'What is it?' in the home and what has done this horrible thing to her father. After heading into the attic, she hears footsteps and quickly finds a hiding place. She sees someone enter with a knife and stays in her spot until he leaves. She makes her way back downstairs and this time, heads out an unlocked front door into the woods.

Thankfully, she runs into the owner of the home as he's driving along the country dirt road. But he assures her that all is right and that no one is in the home. Despite her hysterics, they head back to it. After arrival, the owner walks inside while the woman nervously waits inside the car. He looks around and comes back out to tell her that no one is there. He leads her back into the house and she takes him to the study where her father's body was, only they find nothing there. After exploring the darkened house some more, they get separated and the young woman's light goes out in her lantern. She grabs a Polaroid camera and uses the flash to find her way out of the room as she's screaming and frantically trying to find a way out. The best scare in the film comes as the camera flash goes off for the second or third time and we see a little girl in the room.

At this point, I was sucked in, hook, line and sinker. But how does it go so horribly wrong? So our young woman, as she gets out of the room and begins to explore the house some more learns about the family that used to live there. The reveal of what happened there and how she's mixed up in it all, well, it hit with a big, resounding thud. I don't want to get into it too much. I will say that it's very High Tension-like in the revealing. That's all I'll say.

Even though it has a creepy and intense atmosphere and one of the best scares employed in any film I've seen this year, The Silent House is OK when it could have been really great. The ending completely killed it for me. I mean, you can definitely do a lot worse. But this is one I won't find myself revisiting anytime soon.

Cortez the Killer

Pieces (1982)

2011-06-18T12:02:00.000-07:00

Fear 2/5
Gore 5/5
Entertainment 5/5
Creepiness 2/5
T&A Factor: 4/5

Pieces is one of my all-time favorite slasher films. Along with a healthy dosage of 80's sleaze and cheese, it contains some of the most brutal kill scenes that have ever graced the sub-genre (2nd only to The Prowler, IMHO). Throw in four legitimate red herrings for good measure and you have yourself one sweet elixir of gore soaked awesomeness.

Our film starts with a young boy, fascinated by a Playboy centerfold-like jigsaw puzzle he's putting together. Mom interrupts him and flips out, berating the boy and shaming him to no end. The little boy flips out and briefly exits his room. Upon re-entering, he takes an axe he's grabbed to dear ol' mum and pulverizes her. The cops soon show up but our blood soaked kid blames it on an intruder and gets away with it.

Flash forward 40 years and we're introduced to a college dean who's dealing with a recent murder on his campus. The murder is kept under wraps from the kids with the anatomy professor, the lead detective, the college groundskeeper (who always has this look on his facehole....

....) and the dean instantly becoming each the equal suspect. The bodies begin to mount at an alarming rate, each one more viciously sliced than the last. The killer's main weapons of choice are a chainsaw and a large knife. From decapitations to dismemberment, our killer is on one brutal and relentless quest. But it's all for one purpose and one purpose only: he's putting together a real-life puzzle pieced woman, doing his best to match the same likeness he fawned over as a young kid in his room all those years ago. You see, he's taking specific body parts with each kill and sewing together to make a 'real' woman.

A female undercover piece of meat (that's essentially what she is as the lead detective tells her that they need another warm body on campus), soon begins to roam the campus with the goal of getting close to each of our potential suspects. After a news reporter also falls victim, she meets with the one suspect she hasn't met face to face with yet and learns that he's our killer. I'm not going to ruin the surprise if you haven't seen the film although it is fairly obvious who it is around the 3rd act or so. The real fun comes by way of our other red herrings who always seem to arrive on the scene much to quickly after the killings. You know, the kind of just rounding the corner and 'Surprise, I'm here!' and ' Oh by the way, there's a dead body in the locker room.' I know this gets played ad infinitum in slasher films, but I still find it to be a fun aspect, especially in this film.

As mentioned, there is a healthy dose of sleaze and cheese in the film as college kids care about only a handful of things. Namely, getting fucked-up and fucking. Example, this sassy bit of dialogue here:

Lady Student 1: Have you ever been laid on a waterbed?
Lady Student 2: The most beautiful thing in the world is smoking pot and fucking on a waterbed. At the same time.

Later on in our film, our nosy reporter gets waxed on a waterbed which makes for one of the best slasher kill scenes of all-time.

With lots of the red stuff and gore and eye rolling-ly bad dialogue, Pieces is a shit ton o' fun. Check it out ASAP if you haven't done so already.

Cortez the Killer

The Tunnel (2011)

2011-06-14T15:53:00.000-07:00

Fear 5/5
Gore 2/5
Entertainment 5/5
Creepiness 5/5

The Tunnel is a found footage flick that has so much anxiety filled moments packed in it you'll be phoning your doctor in the morning for an Atavan or Prozac prescription. The filmmakers also have a bold and unique business and distribution plan (more on that in a hot minute).

Our film starts off with the mention that what we are about to see is law enforcement evidence, it's confidential, and all that jazz. Along with some news clippings, we are introduced to two primary individuals who will serve as the main narrators of our story: a female investigative reporter and her lead cameraman. The clippings and our central characters talk about the area of South Wales (Australia) and how the government is seeking to use an abandoned subway tunnel which now holds water. Their goal is to turn it into a water recycling facility in order to address their current crisis of severely low water levels. But we learn that plans are derailed when efforts to move the city's homeless (who are the current occupants) out of the tunnel but the officials find no vagrants. Why they're missing or can't be found is never fully explained.

Despite multiple attempts to get the real story of why they ditched their plans from city officials, the reporter and her cohorts are left with no sound reasoning. But instead of being resigned to this, they have an instinct to go all Geraldo Rivera a la Al Capone's vault. But instead of finding nothing, they come face to face with a horror far worse than anything they could have ever imagined.

Along with another cameraman and crew person looking to help them out, our group sneaks their way into the abandoned underground tunnel. Right away, the tunnel serves as a restrictive force and would make a claustrophobe squirm in their seat. The early explorations serve as a means to create atmosphere and dread as you begin to wonder what could be around each and every corner. Primarily relying on flashlights and camera lights to help them see their way, the group goes deeper and deeper into the tunnel and through it's intricate offshoots and passageways.

Getting well into our exploration and learning that parts of the tunnel were used as a bomb shelter during World War II, things take a sharp turn for the strange as our 2nd camera guy begins to hear whispers in his headset. Coming across a large bell which was rung to signal imminent danger way back when, our cameraman again hears a voice in his headset when the bell is struck for amusement by the group. Only this time, the voice is really pissed off. When it's played back for us to hear, it's the first 'WTF?' moment in the film.

So of course our action is then turned to 11 as one of our crew members goes missing. It's a find and escape mission from here on out, our narrators guiding us through what happened combined with the actual footage which was captured. When they come face to face with what it is that's down there, it's a curl into the fetal position moment as not only is it terrifying but it's so expertly pulled off as the shadows and night vision camera combine along with the creature's movements. But what is it exactly? You'll just have to see for yourself.

And that's where the cool part comes in. The filmmakers are encouraging folks to download their film for free. Yes, you read that right. You can download it via Bit Torrent absolutely free. Don't believe me? Click here: http://www.thetunnelmovie.net/ After watching it, it's compelled me to buy the proper DVD version as well as a frame or two of the actual film for a $1 each. Interesting business model, eh?

Check this one out ASAP. You really have no reason not to. One of the most terrifying films I've seen all year. For fans of films like [REC] and The Descent.

Cortez the Killer

YellowBrickRoad (2010)

2011-06-09T16:26:00.000-07:00

Fear 2/5
Gore 3/5
Entertainment 2/5
Creepiness 3/5

YellowBrickRoad was my most anticipated film watching experience of 2011. Having gained notoriety through various film festivals and having the mighty Bloody Disgusting step up and showcase it as its first offering in partnership with AMC theaters (more on that here), the film was positioned and poised to be one of the year's biggest indie horror hits. For me, it was my biggest disappointment.

Our film starts with being shown town archived photographs and hearing the audio recording of the lone survivor of a mass town exodus and subsequent disappearance. It seems that one day in 1940, the good folks of Friar, New Hampshire randomly decided to up and leave their little town and walk up a winding mountain road. Why exactly nobody knows but aside from the survivor, the rest were never seen or heard from again. To mark the trail, the words 'YellowBrickRoad' were etched into a rock at its starting point. And the townspeople never spoke of the incident again nor did they attempt to re-take that fateful trip.

After our history lesson, a man enters what appears to be a town's hall of records. Behind a fogged window and desk, an older man slides a file of papers under the window's opening and into the hands of the elated man. It seems like he's waited a long time for this information despite numerous attempts to keep it from him. Upon reviewing the file with his wife and friend, we learn that it contains much more detailed information about that mysterious trip.

We also learn that the man (an aspiring filmmaker***ed. correction, book writer) along with his wife and friend want to make a documentary about that day, complete with interviews from the townsfolk and an actual trip up the ill-fated mountain trail. Along with a group of other tag alongs, which includes a shrink, a botanist, a tracker and a few others (the characters are so thinly painted it was hard to keep track of who was who), they set out on their journey. But why a shrink you might ask? Apparently, the original group was going cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs during their trek and our lead documentary filmmaker thought it was a good idea for one to come along and give random sanity spot checks. Are you with me?

After getting into town and having a few awkward conversations with the townsfolk about the actual locale of the road (after all, it's not outright documented on any map), a zealous worker at the local cinema house forces her way into the group and tells them she'll lead them up the road. Making their way out onto the road and starting off on their adventure, nothing of consequence happens in the early goings.

Here, instead of really focusing on character development to make us empathize with characters and getting us to do what all good movies should (make us care), we are instead exposed to side conversations that are very superficial and really don't reveal too much about who these people actually are. They're akin to 'I'm here and I'm along for the trip because this is what I do as a insert profession here____' types of conversations. Nothing interesting happens until we start hearing the sounds of big band era music pumping through the woods one day. At first, its met with a welcome to break up the monotony as there is a certain charm about it. It's hardly threatening. But what's odd is that no one decides to turn back around or make a run for the hills. Anyways, after a few days, the music becomes grating and representative of the group's rapidly deteriorating psyche.

So of course, our group starts to go nuts and people fly into inexplicable rages. When the proverbial shit hits the fan though, sure there is a brutality about it but in terms of caring, it's completely lacking. Despite the group's turning on each other, our lead filmmaker is bound and determined to make it to the end of the road, even leaving his wife behind to do so. When he makes it to the end, it's both confusing and uneventful. Somewhere, I think a larger message was trying to be conveyed. I thought that some sort of spiritual message was being imparted as one of our travelers mentions God in his conversations but any connection made with how the film actually ends just doesn't make any sense whatsoever. I know I'm being a bit vague here but I don't want to be spoiler-ish in any way.

Overall, YellowBrickRoad is flat out underwhelming. A real disappointment considering how much I was looking forward to it.

Cortez the Killer

Joshua (2007)

2011-06-07T05:00:00.000-07:00

Fear 3/5
Gore 1/5
Entertainment 5/5
Creepiness 5/5

This film should be receiving more fanfare. If there's room in the horror classics category for recent creepy kid films like The Children and Orphan, then Joshua certainly deserves a spot right alongside.

From the start, it's like the filmmaker is messing with the viewer as I'm sure most (when starting the film or viewing the trailer) instantly have visions of little Damien dancing in their heads. As a matter of fact, I'm 110% positive that the filmmaker is playing into our notion of the creepy, possessed, driven by Satan kid. We're introduced to our family who have just welcomed a new born daughter into their lives. Their nine year old son is immediately shown to have a strangeness about him both in how he talks and how he engages his family members. He takes to playing the piano as mom and dad talk to grandma. This is clearly a kid of a certain smarts and born into a certain lifestyle (namely, rich and privileged). Talks of religion begin with grandma being a bit of a bible pusher but mom and dad won't have anything to do with baptizing the infant. Exhibit A in the case of the filmmaker beginning to mess with us. Exhibit B comes in the form of mom (played by Vera Farmiga) who's sporting Mia Farrow hair a la Rosemary's Baby. And it's uncanny how much she bears a resemblance to her. Coincidence? I think not.

It's not too long before we see little Joshua becoming jealous of the baby. After all, he's been the center of attention for so long. Initially, comments and facial expressions here and there don't do much other than display your typical older kid being jealous of the new one. But things take a far more sinister turn when the oblivious dad (Sam Rockwell) starts hearing choking sounds over the baby's monitor.

Things reach a point where actions can no longer be ignored when the killing of the family dog occurs at the hands of Joshua. Dad is still in denial saying he couldn't possibly have done it but mom at this point has flipped out. So much so, that she constantly interrupts dad at work and has turned to full-on paranoia at each and every one of Joshua's actions. It's obvious he's purposefully messing with her. As a result, daddy has to put her in a 'special' home.

A turn for the far worse occurs when Joshua is taken to the local museum with grandma and little sister in tow. Back at home, dad gets an inkling that something just isn't right with Joshua when he picks up the family camera and plays a video recording of Joshua, standing over his sister's crib with a menacing look about him. He rushes to the museum and is greeted by Joshua, pushing the stroller to the edge of the steps which lead up to the museum, grandma running as fast as she can behind. He catches him at the top of the stairs, picks up the stroller and momentarily turns his back, leaving Joshua and grandma standing at the top of the stairs. You can probably guess what happens next. Things culminate with dad taking things out on little Joshua, quite literally as he assaults him in public. This lands daddy in trouble and Joshua in the hands of another caretaker. All seems right until he approaches a piano in his new home, begins to play, and looks into the camera with a grin breaking his face.

With great performances and a foreboding sense of dread throughout, Joshua is a nerve racking little thriller. Not for the blood and guts crowd but if you dig the creepy kid flick, this one delivers. And it may make you think twice about having one.

Cortez the Killer

The PoT Podcast Is Back!

2011-06-03T15:32:00.000-07:00

After a bit of a hiatus due to two pesky things known as work and life, the PoT podcast is back!

In this episode, I talk to writer/director Barbara Stepansky about her atmospheric and brutal independent horror feature entitled Fugue. We talk about the idea behind the film and how it came to be, her experiences as a filmmaker (including working with Christopher Nolan, name drop!) as well as her upbringing in Germany. She grew up with a perfect view to a cemetery just outside her bedroom window. Um, I'd be out of that casa in two shakes of a lambs tale. You dig?

Anywhos, click on the player below and enjoy!

P.S. I need to come up with a better sign off. If anyone can think of a neat-o one for me, there just might be a prize involved.

Cortez the Killer