Tuesday, June 5, 2012

The Boogeyman (1980)

Fear 0/5
Gore 3/5
Entertainment 5/5
Creepiness 1/5

Jumping jehosaphat kiddies! This is one insane slice of 80's demonic slasher pie. That's right kiddos, you get TWO horror films for the price of one. It's like a cross between Halloween and Exorcist except way more cheesedick and downright idiotic. But it's just oh-so-bad-but-sugary-sweet goodness.

Jake and Lacey are brother and sister, as close as close can be as far as two siblings go. They pretty much have to raise each as their always shit faced mom is a total inattentive whorebag. One night, they see her mackin' (and soon to be skin smackin' it) with her boyfriend on the couch, the two of them exchanging swigs from a whiskey bottle during the process. Little Jake gets disgusted and decides that he's had enough and takes a kitchen knife to his mom's boyfriend. Lacey turns away so as to not witness the entire ordeal but she can't help but catch a glimpse of the massacre through a large bedroom mirror which directly faces her.

Flash forward a few years and we see the pair (now in their 20's), living with a good God fearin' family out in the middle of who knows where. By all accounts, the kids are happy and things are going well for them. However, something strange is never explained during the course of our film. What is that you ask? Oh I don't know, like maybe HOW THE FUCK DID THEY GET AWAY WITH MURDERING SOMEONE??!!

However, Jake and Lacey aren't without their problems: Jake has strangely taken on a vow of silence and flies into a violent rage when women make sexual advances; and Lacey is going cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs as she sees the dead spirit of her mother's boyfriend trapped in a mirror inside the family's house.

Things take a turn for the whole lot weirder as the mirror breaks one day and the evil spirit is released. Here is where the stalk and slash comes in: the spirit terrorizes the inhabitants of the house including their non-adoptive kids as well as some dopey teenagers that are camping out at the nearby lake. From charcoal grill skewers to flying off the hinges medicine cabinet doors to self-induced suicide, this maliciously mischievous spirit is resourceful in his vengeance.

Along with a pastor and psychologist, the family decides to fight back as the demon comes to manifest itself in human form. A valiant standoff ensues as the demon's efforts are thwarted but not until after an amazing (read: cheap and ridiculous) sequence occurs in which only the best in Atari 2600 special effects are used.

The Boogeyman is the absolute finest vintage of cheesdick 80's horror and it's a lot of ridiculous, the script writer had to be fueled by coke (and I'm not talking about the beverage), over the top, insane fun. You can do no better when it comes to painfully bad but oh so good horror.

Cortez the Killer

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