Tuesday, May 8, 2012

The Fields (2011)

Fear 0/5
Gore 0/5
Entertainment 1/5
Creepiness 0/5

Featuring quite possibly the weirdest top billing in cinematic history (Tara Reid and Cloris Leachman), The Fields is a thriller that is short on suspense and long in drawn out situations that really go nowhere. It's the kind of film that is prone to give one a fit of fury as essentially there is no point or eventual payoff. It looks good in that its shot well, there are some decent performances, but overall, it's completely hollow.

It's the summer of 1973 and a young boy named Steven is sent out to the countryside (where exactly is never explicitly stated) to stay with his kooky grandparents, away from an abusive father and a boozing and partying it up mother. The mother is played by Reid who (thankfully) only has about 10 min of screen time and performs one of the worst emotional breakdown moments ever captured onscreen. Steven is worried about reports of the recent capture of one Mr. Charlie Manson and hears over the radio that some of his cohorts have taken off and are nowhere to be found. But mommy assures him that they are no where close by and that he'll be safe and sound and grandma and grandpa's.

 'Hi, I'm Tara Reid. Give me a paycheck, won't you please?'

Steven spends his days playing in his grandparent's fields despite the warnings from his foul mouthed grandmother that he is not to go anywhere near them. Here is where things begin to become slow and plodding: Steven plays out in the fields, he goes into town with his grandfather, they talk with some townsfolk etc. etc. Sure some of them are kinda creepy in a hillbilly backwoods-y kind of a way. But nothing appears to be a real threat until they come into contact with a Volkswagen bus full of hippies. Guess who they're supposed to be?


Despite the constant reminding of not to play in the fields, Steven continues to do so anyways and comes into contact with the group as they're hiding out in a nearby abandoned amusement park. Hearing noises coming out of the fun house, he decides to step inside. But before he can see what it is they're up to (and what was building up to be the only intense scene in the film), the group chase him out and Steven runs back through the fields and to the house. 

The remainder of our film involves the presumed Manson followers terrorizing the family as they run around their house, giggling, and throwing rocks at it. Really, that's about it. There is never a feeling that the threat would turn real. No violence breaks out (save for some retaliatory gunfire from the grandfather) and no one gets shot or injured. The police eventually arrive and the group disappears. The. End. Thank. God.

Aside from some funny, laced with foul mouthed moments from Ms. Leachman, this film is completely devoid of any real tension or scares. I'm at a loss for a point to the entire affair and really don't see one. This is an absolute snoozefest which will cure anyone of insomnia.

Cortez the Killer

3 comments:

Emily said...

That's a shame. I thought the premise and HELLO! casting was interesting enough to make me want to check it out. I'll wait for instant watch and play it while cleaning I guess (that never happens, so it will be a looooooong time).

SLAUGHTER FILM said...

Hey I saw this! It was at last years Eerie Horror Film Festival, and your right, it's a snoozer. One of the scenes that I remember the most was when the Manson impersonator went all pedo on Steven. *Sigh.

If you like waste of time movies that I watched once at the E.H.F.F. you should check out Death Stop Holocaust. You'll be thinking "When is Slipknot going to kill this loud bitch?!". - Cory

Planet of Terror said...

@Emily, I'm not sure it's worthy of background noise. Even whilst cleaning your casa, you may fall asleep while vacuuming. Yes, I said whilst.

@Slaughter Film, even that scene seemed to be devoid of any real tension. It was like the director said 'Ok, now look creepy. Now start panting kind of heavily and hunch over...'

Oh boy, I can't stand Slipknot (I'm a bit of a metal elitist) but I do love me a good time waster. Albeit it needs to be somewhat decent :)