Saturday, October 8, 2011
Kids Go To The Woods...Kids Get Dead (2009)
The title pretty much says it all. Laden with genre tropes and unbearably awful dialogue, the film falls flat on every level and begs the question: 'Do we REALLY need more films like this?' This isn't even fun in an oh so good it's bad way. It's not even the type of film that you can say is an admirable effort because the creators appear to wear their influences on their sleeves or are true fans of the genre. I'm not making judgements here and I'm sure they are (the title cards, credits and artwork are reminiscent of Friday the 13th). This film is just painfully dull and boring. It's paint by numbers horror and it's insulting.
Do I really need to get into a synopsis? I mean the title says it all, right? OK, if I must for some sort of reviewer integrity. A group of kids (cliche riddled to the bone) head out to the woods. They party, drink and have sex. A killer is stalking them. He sounds like Darth Vader and looks like the killer from My Bloody Valentine. A 'twist' is introduced which is supposed to be inventive, I guess, but it just comes off as lazy and contrived (much like the entire effort).
And really that's all I can muster with regards to plot. The sex, dick and fart jokes aren't funny in the least. And curse words are thrown around like a middle schooler thinking it's neat-o. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure a middle schooler (or someone that didn't progress past the 5th grade) wrote the dialogue and script.
Look, you know I love a good cheese and sleaze fest. But when are filmmakers going to learn that throwing together these types of tropes and not even paying mind to things like witty dialogue or interesting kills (the film can't even get that right) is an instant recipe for disaster? And I don't even want to hear the recent argument of 'Well it's a --insert genre staple here________-- movie. What did you expect?' This is becoming a prevalent cop-out and ignores one simple film making truth: you should still strive to make a decent film.
If you're feeling masochistic, you can check the film out for free through the end of the month via its website. Don't say I didn't warn you.