Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Harpoon -- AKA Reykjavik: Whale Watching Massacre (2009)
A once mighty and proud whale hunting family has been reduced to scraping by after their Icelandic town switched industries due to the pressures of Green Peace activists. Instead of hunting the gigantic giants of the sea, they're now stuck with ugly tourists who've invaded their country for an experience of a lifetime: a chance to get closer to these creatures via whale watching excursions. But they're out to make them wish they hadn't made the trip.
Our film kicks off with a group of tourists loading onto and heading out in a whale watching vessel. They are comprised of a stereotypical mix: ditzy Americans, loud and rude Chinese, a drunken Irishman, and a gay black man. OK, maybe gay black man is not a stereotype. It's not long before they begin experiencing trouble with the boat and it stalls out in the middle of the ocean. To make matters worse, drunken Irish monkey man scales up one of the masts, accidentally dislodging a part of it and it falls towards the ship's deck, spearing the captain and killing him instantly. Whoopsie daisy. But fear not! Our trio of family members, an eldest son who looks like a hesher, his Slingblade brother, and their mother who's playing the Anne Ramsey role in Throw Momma from The Train, are here to save the day!
They load the group onto their boat and announce that they are the catch of the day. And pretty much from here on out the film follows our group as they try to escape the boat and are hunted down one by one by this psychotic family. Really, that's all there is to it. Some people make really dumb decisions and some people make smarter ones and in the end, the most resourceful one escapes. YAY!
But why oh why should I watch this you say? It's the kill scenes dummy! Of course, there's some harpoon action (I would have liked to have seen more) and the best use of a flare gun and subsequent eyehole melting scene ever committed to film. Has there ever even been one before? I dunno. Anyways, the film is fun, mindless and I don't think I understood half of the jokes. Oh those Icelanders, such a hoot. They do like to say bitch and cunt a lot though.
Harpoon brings really nothing new to the table but you could do a lot worse. After the endless barrage of shit I've seen recently, it was a welcome, mindless relief.
Cortez the Killer