Friday, September 17, 2010

Mutant Vampire Zombies From The 'Hood (2009


Fear 0/5
Gore 5/5
Entertainment 5/5
Creepiness 2/5
Gangsta Factor 5/5
T&A 3/5

Now this is how you make B-movie, schlock full o'nuts, gold. Zombies, gangstas, T&A and loads of over the top gore. How could this NOT be an instant classic? Thankfully faithful readers, it is and it's a lot of retardedly good fun.

Two rival gangs are set to exchange goods: a suitcase of drugs and in return, the girlfriend of the Boyz N The Hood gang leader. But the Asian chopsticks have tricked the Boyz N The Hood and have filled their suitcase with sugar instead of nose candy. But before they can bust out their straps and lay some asses out, the cops bust in, lead by a long forgotten action star who looks like he just came off of a week long bender. C. Thomas Howell everybody!


Gun fire exchanges ensue but before they can finish bidness, a solar flare washes over the earth (with some amazing Atari 2600 graphics at work here) and they're knocked out by the blast.


When they awake and exit the large wherehouse where their standoff took place, they find people roaming the streets, having been turned into flesh crazed monsters. But they're no normal monsters, they're mutating humans that are constantly growing and have an insatiable sexual appetite. Yes kids, along with the ridiculously insane and over the top bodily dismemberments happening left and right, zombie rape also occurs. Yeah, it went there.



So C. Thomas and our gangs band together, along with a drunk old man who lived in da hood who survived the effects of the blast by hanging out in his basement, travel through the city to the house of a doctor who's been broadcasting on the local TV. You see, along with his scientist daughter, they've been working on getting down to the bottom of what's caused all this. The doctor also mentions that he's long prepared for this type of event and has all the necessay tools and equipment to 'start over again.' But on the way there, they run into another group of people who haven't quite turned yet but want the group for sexual party favors. Enter the worst blow job ever received by anyone. EVER.


After getting out of that mess alive, they finally make it to the good doctor's house. And instantly C. Thomas falls for his daughter. In their discussion about the end of the world, they start getting that lovin' feeling. Along with the reunited gang couple in the bedroom next door, they start banging headboards and nasty bits. And in between their moans and bed squeaks, the rampaging zombie hoard trying to storm the gated castle intermingles with moans and squeaks of their own. A symphony of hilarity ensues:








A final standoff then goes down with the zombie hoard who have now mutated in size and numbers, with only a couple of our combatants getting out alive. The ending takes a little nosedive as it does so abruptly and without any clear resolution. But at this point, who gives a shit? This is balls to the wall, over the top fun people.

If B-movie trash is your game, Mutant Vampire Zombies From The 'Hood is your game.

Cortez the Killer

2 comments:

the jaded viewer said...

That looks awesome. The trailer makes it look super duper good...glad it lived up to the hype. I'll have to watch this.

Thunder Levin said...

The Mutant Vampire Zombies From
Thanks for the fun review!

The Mutant Vampire Zombies From The 'Hood! DVD is now available for sale directly from the filmmakers at www.MutantVampireZombiesFromTheHood.com. The price is lower than Amazon or the other internet retailers. We'll also soon be offering T-shirts & caps. After all, doesn't everyone need a shirt that proudly proclaims "I AIN'T NO ZOMBIE BITCH!"???