Monday, May 3, 2010

In Spite of Freddy


So I saw the re-boot, re-imagining, re-excrementing, whatever of A Nightmare on Elm Street yesterday. The power went out in the theater that my buddy and I had originally decided upon. So we drove for 20min. to a new location just in time for another showing. That's how dedicated I am to making sure that you don't have to sit through this crapfest.

I'm not going to write a review of the film. Honestly, I'm so enraged by it's lack of energy, suspense and character development that I genuinely don't have it in me to write a decent review. If the filmmakers themselves don't feel the need to put forward any effort, why should I? Aside from a couple of interesting moments (Rorschach Freddy quipping about the brain still being alive for a few more minutes when the rest of you has expired and the pharmacy scene), by and large, the film was a complete waste and truly uninspired. Plus these blogs have already expressed everything that I feel and more.



Things That Don't Suck: http://thingthatdontsuck.blogspot.com/2010/05/long-week-on-elm-st-part-9-nightmare-on.html

Dinner with Max Jenke: http://dinnerwithmaxjenke.blogspot.com/2010/04/evisceration-on-elm-street.html

What I am going to encourage you to do is not only save your $7-$12 (yes, in some parts of Cali, theater goers are being asked to dole out $12) on a movie ticket, but I'm going to ask you to do yourself a favor and support some genuinely great, wholly original, indie horror instead. It makes me sick to think that lifeless and uninspired shit like this gets made and makes a killing while original, non-mainstream and non-made for the riddled with ADD masses, doesn't get anywhere near the same attention or notoriety. That's not to say an indie filmmaker can't be successful nowadays, its just a harder in an environment such as this to do so.

So I am going to use my tiny forum to encourage all of you, whom I appreciate and respect so much as fans and readers of the blog, to check out some great indie horror films. We DON'T get money to spotlight any of these directors and we DON'T get money for the ads that we place on the site. We are just genuine fans of their work. And they are amazing people to boot. I guarantee a better hour and a half will be spent with these instant classics.

1. Summer School: Charles is a horror fanatic who's spent way too much time watching films and reviewing them for his blog. Due to a lack of sleep, he can't stay awake during his summer school classes. Everytime he dozes off and wakes up, he finds himself in a new horror-themed scenario of which he's the main victim. Will he make it out of school alive?

http://www.randomcreatureface.com/

2. Blood on the Highway: A road trip gone sour soon turns to desperation as a group of friends fight off scores of vampires that have overrun the town of Fate, TX. But they have a few advantages on their side: their reckless but heroic friend Bone and the fact that these vampires are totally inept. And they're also powered by the most amazing one liners ever committed to film.

http://www.bloodonthehighway.com/

3. The Commune: Jenny is sent away by her mother to live with her new age religion wacko father along with his group of followers for the summer. Despite her initial resistance, she comes to terms with the situation and views it as an opportunity to reconnect with a father who's mostly been absent. However, she comes to find that he and the other members of the group have a far more sinister plan for her.


4. Dawning: An estranged family ernestly tries to reconnect during a weekend camping trip in the woods. Things seem to get off on a good foot but their peaceful first night is quickly derailed when a stranger stumbles into their cabin and holds them hostage while claiming that something in the woods is after him. The family comes undone as they try to figure a way out and whether or not there really is something in the woods. A slow burn that will keep you guessing until the very end.

http://www.dawningthemovie.com/

Much Love,

Cortez the Killer

HorrorBlips: vote it up!

16 comments:

Bryce Wilson said...

Thanks for the shout out Cortez.

This was a really fantastic idea, doing something constructive rather then just bitching about it like certain other lesser bloggers (me). lol.

My hat is off to you for this one sir.

Chris Hallock said...

Good channeling of your rage into something positive here, CtK.

Excellent list of indies for people to explore!

What the hell, 500 of these could have been made for the price of one NOES.

Cortez The Killer said...

@Bryce, no not lesser at all. You already said everything that I was thinking and needed to be said in one nice long rant :)

But thanks. I really love these films and think others will too.

@Chris, thanks dude. And ugh, it makes me sick just thinking about it. I won't name names but some of these fine filmmakers are having financial problems right now. And this piece of shit film makes $15 mil. in one day?? I know there has been a significant drop off since day 1, but still. Such a travesty.

Erik said...

I've red all the reviews of ANOES also,sad that I was excited for this,Im actually going tommorow but won't be paying so at this point I have zero expectations.
Anyways I definitely want to check out dawning if I can find it

Cortez The Killer said...

Erik, I just realized that Dawning hasn't hit DVD yet. Massive fail on my part.

BUT, the director is redesigning the film's site and will be selling copies of the film through it soon. I'll post a news blurb once the updated site is a go.

Erik said...

No problem,I'm pretty excited to check that one out.You and a few others have recommended it.Thanks.

B-Movie Becky said...

You go boy! :P

the jaded viewer said...

OK as a horror blogger am I not obligated to see this crapfest? Hehehehe I elected to see The Human Centipede rather than the garbage last Fri. Yay me.

OK, well CTK, I'll go with your advice and NOT watch it.

So I might as well VOD Survival then.

senski said...

Many thanks for the linkage, my friend. It's a sad state of things that the most enjoyable element of the new NOES was the trailer for Splice that was attached to it. Us horror fans, always looking to the horizon, hoping that something better comes along...

BTW, will there be a Horror element to the Big Day in two weeks? Don't spoil any surprises...

Emily said...

Um-nevermind.

(shuffles away with head hung low)

Cortez The Killer said...

@Becky, yeah boyeeeeee. Go ninja, go ninja go....

@Jaded, no, you are NOT obligated at all. Excellent review on Human Centipede, BTW. Hoping to catch a midnight showing in Dallas. Thank god for ORIGINAL and progressive horror.

@Senski, how great does that film look? I can't wait to check it out.

I wish. My fiance and I couldn't be more polar opposites. She's Twilight and top 40, I'm horror films and heavy metal. She puts up with my love of horror. Good thing we have two TV rooms in the house.

@Emily, oh sweet Emily. I know you liked it. For the life of me, I can't figure out why ;)

Theron said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Theron said...

I appreciate your dedication, Cortez. I will probably catch at least part of this on cable at some point in the future...by accident. Thanks for shining a light on lesser-known, more-deserving fare. You're doing God's work, friend...

senski said...

Cortez, there's an old saying - "If you don't cultivate it, you marry it." All in the search of completeness...:-)

Cortez The Killer said...

@Theron, why thank you good sir. I might us that as a quote for the blog if you don't mind :)

@Senski, you are a wise man my dear friend.

Theron said...

Use what you choose shall be the whole of the law...dude.