Friday, June 4, 2010

House (1986)

Fear 0/5
Gore 1/5
Entertainment 2/5
Creepiness 0/5

William Katt is best known for starring in The Greatest American Hero, a goofbally TV show from the early 80's about a mild mannered, regular guy granted the gift of super powers by aliens via a silly red costume. George Wendt is best known as the affable loser "Norm" on the TV show Cheers (and maybe, to a lesser extent, as Fat Sam in Fletch) while Richard Moll is almost exclusively known as Night Court's "Bull". Why or how anyone thought this could result in anything besides an extended episode of Tales From The Darkside is a mystery to me, but that's the result.

House is centered around Katt who plays a horror author whose wife has left him and whose son has disappeared. He's also a Vietnam Vet whose
latest book, a memoir of his tours of duty, has been a work in progress for much too long. When his creepy old aunt hangs herself, he inherits her big Victorian house and moves in to get some much needed solitude. The house, however, has other plans and he is soon plagued by ghosts and spooky creepy eepies that attack him and cause all kinds of madcap and wacky hijinx.

There's also this strange side story about his time in Vietnam that gets woven into the plot along side lots of tangential scenes that go nowhere and have nothing to do with anything - for example, one day he walks out to his backyard to find a woman taking a swim in his pool. She explains that she is a neighbor from up the road and would love to see him later on - which she does by showing up at 10 PM to drop of her son for Katt to babysit. He does this, a ghost nearly abducts the kid, he saves the kid, she returns to pick the kid up and is never seen in the film again.

House is rife with rubber suits, latex monster masks and the occasional cheap scare. The music is cheesy and synthetic sounding, the sets are cheap and flimsy looking and the acting worthy of an Emmy nomination at best. There's nary a drop of blood and zero gore. The only reason I could think of that this was rated R is that the word "fuck" is used once. Were this released today it would struggle to get a PG-13.

It started well - lots of funny clothes and hairdos, some goofy dialogue and the promise of zombie-like ghosts who resemble Sargent D of the S.O.D. tearing things (and people?) up - see the trailer. But alas, this was simply boring and a tad bit confusing.

- Complaint Department

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Cortez The Killer said...

Isn't there also a cowboy-ish zombie ghost in this one or am I thinking of House II?

Complaint D said...

I think that's House II - but I have no idea since I have not seen it. No cowboy in this one though.