Friday, April 16, 2010

What Do Tigers Dream Of....?

Some of you may know, some may not, but I'm fixin' to get hitched in May. Well this weekend is the the official send off into servitude and one vagina-ness: AKA my bachelor party.

Here is the composition of this weekend's festivities:

1. 22 guys

2. 1,600 sq. ft. suite

3. Hard Rock Hotel

4. Rehab (if you don't know what that is, The Hard Rock has a man made beach and they have a huge party there on Sundays, apparently celebs abound).

5. 4 of my good guys friends either got married or had their first kid within the last year; this means they are itching to go bonkers.

6. My dad is my best man and there is a high likelihood he will out party all of us; I'm pretty sure he hasn't seen another pair of boobies other than my mom's for over 34 years.

7. One of my best friends opened up a separate savings account that his wife doesn't know about a year ago and started stocking money away.

8. I have 10 drink tickets for the flight out on Southwest, I hate flying so more than likely I'll be shithoused by the time we land.

9. My friends from Cali are coming out. If you know of anyone from or have lived in Cali your whole life, Vegas is like Disneyland for grown-ups; you know all the ins and outs and the landscape like the back of your hand.

10. Did I mention its MY bachelor party???

Needless to say, I will be MIA on this here blog for a little while. But when I come back, lots of exciting news, some really great interviews and a contest for FREE shit! Until then, pray for me....

Cortez the Killer

HorrorBlips: vote it up!


6 comments:

B-Sol said...

Southwest is a great choice, affordable but good service. And better hope your friend's wife isn't reading this blog, my man!!

Cortez The Killer said...

None of my friends read my blog so I'm 110%* positive it won't be discovered (I'm the only horror nut out of all of my friends).

*Margin of uncertainty +/- 99.9%

Matt-suzaka said...

Yeah, dog! Hope you have a good time and I also hope that Jeremy Piven doesn't ruing it by slamming a stripper's head into a towel hook!

Bryce Wilson said...

Congratulations. Just remember if Zach Galifinakas offers you ecstasy. Its not ecstasy.

Geof said...

Cortez! I missed this post because you know I was on a boat, but I'm glad to see you made it back in one piece. Hope to catch up with you in person one day so I can hear all the gory details.

Carl (ILHM) said...

Vegas + Bachelors parties = trouble, I only vaguely remember waking up in a bathtub, hopefully mine