T&A Factor: 2/5
The film kicks off with a family mourning the passing of one of their own. After the funeral rites, the sister of the departed comes back in to the mausoleum after everyone else has left. She says a few words, telling the casket what she really thought of the deceased. Hands reach out of it, pulling her in. The casket is then mistakenly sent to be cremated with her trapped inside and....and....cut to a boy and his girl sitting in their car in a drive-in theater, watching the events unfold onscreen. Oh, what a ruse! The girl exits the vehicle and heads to the concession stand only no ones there to take her order. She heads back to the car and is attacked by a group of flesh hungry zombies led by her boyfriend. But wait, this isn't a movie within a movie a la Thriller! Its the premiere of the latest video by the Van Halen-esque band White Sister. Let's get this party started. Drop a fat bass line:
After that random intro, our real story starts. A trio of girls are uber stoked as its the final week in their rush events for a sorority. But before they can get started, they find out about a mean prank that one of the fraternities played on their potential sisters. A couple of the guys dumped a jar full of bees into their backyward while they were hanging out in the hot tub (during the middle of a sunny day no less). The boys waited and caught everything on tape as the ensuing madness unfolded.
Once they dole out a hefty amount of middle fingers to the prank pulling boys, the sisters put the pledging trio through their final trials: eating goat eyeballs, making them inhale as many egg yolks as humanly possible and demanding that they say inappropriate things in class.
Professor: 'There is nothing like curling up in bed with a nice big book.'
Jennifer clearly not paying attention in class
Professor: 'Jennifer. I was just telling the class what a pleasure deep reading can be. Have you ever curled up into bed with a nice big book?'
Jennifer: 'I myself prefer a big fat cucumber.'
To get back at their potential sisters, one of the pledges rigs a guillotine she stole from the drama department and fakes her own beheading. That'll show them!
The girls are all elected in and the one who rigged her fake death is asked to repeat the feat at their annual April Fool's Day masquerade party. By this time you are probably asking yourself, 'Dude, WTF? I thought this was a HORROR movie?' The girls decide to have the party in an abandoned fraternity house. Apparently a pledge died there years ago, a victim of a hazing event and the house was closed and has never been reopened.
After a fair amount of warning, the girls proceed to have their party at the house anyways. They set-up shop, get their prank ready and the boys from the frat house show up. The party gets into full swing and just before they flip the switch on their prank, one of the newest sorority members displays the most ridiculous 'Oh shit, I'm possessed!' face ever committed to screen:
At the same time, someone in an old timey diver suit starts spearing people at the party.
Unbeknownst to everyone, people are getting waxed left and right. It gets late into the night, and the party starts to disband. Two of the three newer sisters are left to clean-up and they discover all of the dead bodies. The two un-possessed girls find out that the dive suit guy was actually their friend and have to fend off her Spider-man wall crawling attacks.
The payoff is a long road but the last 10 minutes of this movie are pure comedic (unintentional?) genius. Oh, and the smooth sexing lines that the frat brothers spew during the film are pretty awesome. If only it were this easy.
Sorority sister: 'If I do it with you, will you love me for ever?'
Fraternity broseph: 'I'll love you for as long as I can.'
Translation: 'Or at least until this five minute ride is over.'
Cortez the Killer