Friday, February 12, 2010

Detective Story (2006)

Fear 0/5
Gore 2/5
Entertainment 3/5
Creepiness 0/5

Billed as shocking and disturbing, I was expecting Audition or something along those lines. But it's pretty tame actually. Oddly and sort of deliberately tame it felt like. Certainly not creepy. Not like the opening ceremonies of the Olympics that is playing in the back ground as I write this. That shit's just weird.

Detective Story revolves around two guys who live in adjacent apartments who happen to share the same name. They both seem really struck by this, but I don't get it. Maybe if I were Japanese I'd understand.

Remember that sentence - it'll come in handy for this movie.

Anyway, one is a computer hacker whose professional job is to hack into shit for some company. I don't get it. The other is a private detective who dresses like a cross between Fat Elvis and Nicolas Cage as Elvis. The two dudes don't particularly care for each other, but wind up hanging out with each other nonetheless in a series of awkward scenes that are (I think) supposed to illustrate the differing personalities of each. I don't know. I don't get it.

One night, a woman shows up at the detective's apartment having been given the address by the detective's assistant. He tells her it's too late to talk to her and to meet him at his office the next day. She then turns up dead the next day and the detective becomes a suspect. Later, the hacker dude takes the detective's other assistant on a date to a gallery showcasing an artist they both admire. There is an exchange between the man and woman that goes something like this:

Woman: I'll be right back.
Man: Huh? Where are you going?
Woman: I have to pee.
Man (shocked) : OOOOHHH?

Cut to shot of pee pee running down the woman's leg.

Man (still shocked): OOOHHHH??
Woman: Hee hee. I couldn't hold it.

And....scene. I don't get it.

Anyway, there's some more murders, which look like they might be gruesome as shit except that they are blurred out. Like the film was edited to show on TV. But I got the unedited version. So I have to assume that this was part of the movie, some intentional statement by Takashi Miike. I don't get it.

The end of the movie is the two guys with the same name cold-chillin' in one of the guy's apartments - - what the fuck? Two guys with mohawks and a Crass tattoo are wailing away on violins on TV at the Olympics. And now some more Hot Topic style punkers are joining them. Oh Canada.

Anyway, one of the guys has had his fingers cut off in the final showdown between them and the real killer (yeah, that's right, the detective didn't do it). The scene goes like this:

Man: OOOOHHH? My fingers are tingling!
Other Man: OOOOH???
Man begins undoing his bandages. He removes them to reveal his hand fully intact.
Man: My fingers grew back!

END OF MOVIE.I don't get it.

-Complaint Dept (can't find a trailer for this)

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1 comment:

Robert Ring said...

Aw man, I've been wanting to see this movie. Sounds like it might not be worth it, though.