Friday, January 8, 2010
Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)
What? What's that you say? A Halloween movie without Michael Myers? Poppycock. What are you trying to pull here? Despite a pretty ridiculous plot construct, the film is fun albeit incredibly goofy.
A doctor is seeing an influx of dead bodies running through his hospital, all with Halloween masks either affixed to their face holes or being clutched in their hands as they ramble on about some sort of horror that was exposed. When strange dudes in suits that look all Matrix agent-y like come by his hospital and start trying to dispose of the evidence, he knows something ain't quite right. Along with a girl who's father owns a toy store in town and has gone missing, they decide to go all Hardy Boys detective style. They head out to the Nor Cal countryside to investigate the little town and its manufacturer of said Halloween masks.
Driving through town, they get those 'Them folks ain't from around these parts' types of stares as they cruise through the middle of town. Driving through, they notice the logo of the manufacturer is plastered everywhere. Shacking up (and I mean shacking up because they get to bumping headboards pretty quickly) at the local motel, they are told what a revolutionary and genius inventor the owner of the Halloween mask producing plant is. The doc runs into a drunk who warns him of the evil that goes on in the plant and promptly buys him some booze to get him to cough up more details. After spilling the beans, the drunk heads home and is met by a duo of Matrix agentys. And they promptly perform a head removal service free of charge:
As the doc and lady friend start to investigate more, they find out that.....dun dun dun.....the old man who owns the plant is manufacturing masks that will explode the noggin's of kiddos everywhere on Halloween night. Running commercials every day, the goal is to get as many kids as possible, wearing the masks and sitting in front of the TV for a 'very special' program which will air on said night. Why exactly does the devious developer of ghoulish masks want to off little ankle biters everywhere? Apparently he wants to replicate an ancient Celtic ritual and kill as many of the boogers as possible. Um yeah, that's the ticket. What this has to do with witches is anyone's guess.
So the doc and his female counterpart get captured and are separated by the mad genius inventor. After a demonstration of this fully operational battle station, the doc sneaks out, gets the girl, and heads the fuck out of dodge. But he finds that she was turned into an assassin robot by the mad inventor and she tries to wax him. Not so, as he fends her off by doling out a head severing wicked backhand:
The end sees the doc desperately trying to stop the show from going on and save the kiddos. So does he? Well here is his 'Oh no's' face. You be the judge.
Aside from its silliness, the film is a lot of fun and its a shame that so many people have denounced it (presumably because of Mikey's absence) over the years. Any of our reader faithful care to explain why this wasn't a stand alone titled movie? Carpenter's name is affixed but seems to not have had much involvement by way of writing or production.
Cortez The Killer