Thursday, December 10, 2009

Rush Week (1989)

Fear 0/5
Gore 0/5
Entertainment 1/5
Creepiness 0/5
T&A Factor 2/5

Like all good things that are enjoyed with a caramel nougaty center, sometimes there is such a thing as too much. Or if you are a heroin addict, sometimes one tie-off is one tie-off too many. Such is the way with one of my favorite decades of horror (the 80's) and sub-genres (slashers). I am not divorcing myself completely (who could?) but I am taking a much needed break. I have seen far too many shit heaps. Enter Rush Week.

During the requisite semester rush week of rituals, someone is killing off college coeds who pose nude for a photographer in the sciences building. Apparently the janitors has a hobby on the side and he entices young girls to pose in the flesh to make a couple extra bucks. But after leaving the building late at night (afterall, you can't exactly do this while school is in session or can you?) the girls are stalked and struck down, by a hooded attacker sporting a battle axe. It just so happens that the president of the fraternity uses a similar looking axe to kick off the week long festivities! Lame red herring #1.

A female reporter for the campus paper falls for the president of one of the fraternities. She later learns that his girlfriend was murdered on campus last year and he keeps newspaper clippings in his room of the incident along with scores of others that reference similar instances across college campuses. And his buddies mention to his new love interest that something is not quite right with him and he doesn't like to party as much as he used to. Lame red herring #2.

The dean of the school happens to be the father of the dead girlfriend, complete with her picture prominently displayed on his desk. He shows all the signs of being crazy including a rant about 'kids today'. But it couldn't be him could it? Lame red herring, and its totally obvious he's the killer, #3.

The film ends with a chase through the school boiler room and we find out in a Scooby Doo 'It was old man Withers all along!' fashion that it was is in fact the dean. The only worthwhile but totally bloodless kill in the film, the frat boy takes the axe and lops off his head. The end.

Missing most of the hallmarks (drugs, gore, amazingly awful dialogue, etc.) that make for a good 80's chock-full-o-sleaze flick, Rush Week is just plain awful. The best scene by far was one in which a hooker had sex with a cadaver that was brought from the science lab to one of the frat house parties. Avoid this unless you want to gouge your ojos out with a spork.

No trailer for this. But I found a clip of the pledges mooning peeps at school on a short bus. That's how retarded this movie is.

Cortez The Killer

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1 comment:

Geof said...

Predictable killer and zero scares. Lame, lame genre entry. Not even good in a bad way. But good review!