Monday, November 23, 2009

Dreamaniac (1986)

Fear 1/5
Gore 4/5
Entertainment 5/5
Creepiness 1/5
T&A Factor: 2/5

Words cannot begin to describe the sheer amazing-ness that is this film. I've watched it two times in as many days. I'll let my notes do the talking.

- Kid into heavy metal summons demon girl from book; haunted by her in his dreams

- Agrees to help girlfriend throw a party for her sister who's trying to get into a sorority

- Girlfriend makes bud brownies, lines up liquor bottles in prep; not true 80's horror film party w/o the coke

- Sorority gal talks to sister, tells her guy she is dating 'Has a big heart but not much else'

- Asks her what she is cooking for Brad: 'BREAST of chicken? COCK Au Verre?' Def. a whore

- Another sorority gal asks 'Where's the phone?' girlfriend responds in negative, sorority gal responds 'Mondo bad planning, what if I had to call my broker?' Yup, def. an 80's horror film

- Demon girl crashes party, oh snap

- Here we go, someone busts out mirror & starts chopping up the nose candy

- Someone asks 'Where did Suzy go?' Another responds 'How should I know?'; no investigation ever takes place

- Party gets boring, charades is suggested, '3 words', woman strangles self, makes choking noises; drunken guy shouts 'Rambo'

- Brad gets w/ whore behind back of sister; comes in about 2.5 seconds, makes silly grunting noise

- Sister gets bummed about Brad hooking up, hits the bottle, says 'I never knew tequila tasted like this. I wonder what worms would taste like in diet soda?'

- Demon gal seduces one of the guys, he wears tighty whiteys; all horny, he strokes his own leg

- She ties him up w/ electric chord; makes him drink water and plugs chord into wall, frying him

- Never good at physics, is this possible?

- Sister gets sick from drinking too much, pukes all over whore and Brad as they lie in bed; whore calls her a 'fucking cunt'

- Other drunk dude and girl start getting frisky, bust out Reddi Whip

- Before penis plow, says needs another drink, dunks head into punch bowl; demon gal stabs him and spears girl w/ fireplace poker

- Whore says 'Birds of a feather flock together'; sister wakes up after passing out, finds out they are back together; starts hitting bottle again

- Find out demon gal is a succubus and made pact w/ metalhead

- Metalhead sold souls of party goers to write better lyrics and get more girls; he's wearing a Def Leppard shirt, he's fucked

- Demon gal plays tonsil hockey w/ dude, goes down stairs and bites off his wee-wee

- Whore runs into girlfriend as she's leaving the party, says 'Maybe I should say goodbye to your boyfriend and give him something better than you gave him'

- Metalhead takes razor to whore's neck before she can leave; bitch served

- Girlfriend and shit-faced sister (w/ bottle still in hand) band together, kill tighty whitey dude who's turned into a zombie w/ ski pole

- Sisters grab power drill and kill metalhead who comes after them w/ knife, drilling straight through neck, taking off head; gore well done

- Demon girl gets pissed and goes after sisters, they're screwed

- WTF? dude from mental hospital barges in, grabs demon girl, and says 'What are you doing out again?'; hellooooo random

- Next scene, script writer talking about film; all didn't really happen

- Knock on door, he opens and gets knifed; movie ends

- Clearly directors ran out of funds

As you can see, this film is all fucking class and brilliance. Goddamn I love 80's horror films. Do whatever you can to track down a copy of this movie.

Cortez The Killer

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Jay Amabile said...

I have a new mission in find a copy!

Planet of Terror said...

Its simply stunning in its unrivaled awesomeness. Jay, check out