Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Retardead (2008)


Fear 2/5
Gore 5/5
Entertainment 5/5
Creepiness 2/5

Before the film starts, a faux 'Let's All Go To The Lobby' song kickstarts the wackiness that is echoed in the forthcoming feature. After a normal list of concession findings are listed, a voice over asks 'Do you want something black inside of you?' while at the same time, showing a cartoon afro-ed likeness of an African American male. 'Then come get some of our fine coffee!' Next, a suggestively animated female grips a hot dog and puts it into her mouth as the voice over exclaims 'Suck down one of our fine hot dogs.' A duo of fake trailers also follow, with each film promising to provide scenes of 'pants-shitting terror.' I laughed myself silly within the first five minutes of putting on the DVD and I hadn't even reached the start of the film! Brilliant!

The movie begins with a little girl telling her father about a series of recurring dreams she is having about a mad doctor who is moving from town to town experimenting on its inhabitants. The police swear that he is dead, killed by one of his own previous concoctions. But in fact he is very much alive, still performing experiments that attempt to increase the intelligence of the brain with a special serum. The only side affect: the serum causes the brain to swell and eventually, turns its guinea pigged host into a cannibalistic crazed zombie. Egad!

On the run from law enforcement, the mad doctor hides out in a small California town and seeks to continue his experiments. Where exactly can he continue to practice on folks while at the same time, hiding out in the least likeliest of places to be discovered? Well at the fine institution of higher learning for the mentally handicapped, of course!

Upon interviewing with the head principal (never mind the creepy look of the doctor complete with eye patch!), the doctor easily convinces him that he is the right man for the job as its high time for the world to no longer underestimate these people. He quickly goes to work on the kids, injecting them with the serum. After a few days, the kids are building robots, solving algebra equations and reading Tolstoy. Much to the delight of their parents and the staff, the kids are now seemingly cured of their mental maladies.

Things get a little out of control when the doctor's subjects start to exude some of the same symptoms as his prior test subjects. Trying to hide the transforming patients, he locks them up in a downstairs storage room. All hell breaks loose when one of the faculty suspects that he is up to no good and opens up the door leading to the storage room. The zombified mentally handicapped go on a rampage in the school, eventually escape, and a city wide alert is issued by the mayor (cameo courtesy of Mr. Dead Kennedys, Jello Biafra).

The local police and FBI band together and catch up to a group of rampaging deadites (their numbers have grown, afterall) for a final standoff. After slaughtering the entire group, a 'shockingly' hilarious conclusion ensues as we find out from a radio broadcast that the serum was only a 48 hour flu bug and that everyone has returned back to being normal. They all throw their hands up and howl ironically in laughter. H-O-L-Y shit. The girl concludes the story and her father claims none of it was actually real. Its only in her dreams. Or is it?

This is one of the funniest horror comedies I've ever seen, loaded with a neverending amount of dick and fart jokes with equal parts bad taste and sleaze (not like this though). As the zombies rip through town, no one is safe. Not even babies. OK, so they ate what was plainly a plastic one but it was still pretty gnarly. This is a great indie, low budget, so-bad-its-good, gorefest. Definitely check this out.

Cortez the Killer

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey Cortez,

Thanks for taking the time to review our flick RetarDEAD. Glad you found some enjoyment out of it! If you haven't seen it yet, you should check out our first flick Monsturd. It's currently on NetFlix. Anyway, just wanted to drop in and say, "Hi."
-Rick Popko
(co-writer, director, producer of Monsturd and RetarDEAD)

Jonny Metro said...

I reviewed this film about four months back or so, and was pretty impressed as well. I enjoyed it even though I hadn't seen (and STILL haven't seen) the first film. Monsturd. Sounds pretty class, though, doesn't it?

--J/Metro

Cortez The Killer said...

Your welcome Rick and thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment (and for making an awesome flick). You have a newly converted fan in me. I will definitely check out Monsturd!

And yes, Jonny Met, it TOTALLY sounds like a classy affair!!!

Dan West said...

Thank you for the kind words about our repulsive little movie. Always nice to hear that someone enjoyed it.

Dan West

(The other co-writer and co-director of that thing)

Toxik Boys said...

really amazing blog

Aaron said...

This is a great movie. The first time I watched it was the hardest I had laughed in god knows how long. I also loved the blatantly shitty effects. The guys that made this had no shame given the budget they had, and you can tell they had a blast making it. I made the mistake of watching it a second time a little too soon and it wasn't funny anymore, so this will definitely be one I re-visit somewhere down the line when I can appreciate it again.