Wednesday, August 5, 2009

The Collector (2009)

Fear 1/5
Creepiness 2/5
Gore 4/5
Entertainment 2/5

I can't remember the last time I walked out of a movie theater more pissed off. If there were babies around, I would have been doling out haymakers left and right. That's how much this movie incensed me.

First things fucking first: a home improvement guy has been staking out the house of a family that has moved out to the sticks. He's been casing the joint as the husband is a rare jewel dealer. He's gotten close to the family, earning their trust and the sexual advances of their slutty teenage daughter. We learn that the home improvement, soon-to-be robber guy's wife owes some loan sharks about 30 G's or so.

So home improvement now turned robber dude comes back to the house late that night as the family had planned on leaving for a good ol' fashioned family vacation. What should have been a pretty easy grab and go job turns into a nightmare as home improvement robber guy finds out that someone has made it to the house before him, except his intentions are far more sinister.

As robber dude makes his way throughout the house, he finds that the guy who's already there has set up an intricate maze of rigged traps (think Home Alone but way more deadlier and elaborate). I need to rewind a little here. This movie was made by two schmucks who also directed the last 3 or 4 films in the Saw series. Don't ask me which ones because I stopped giving a shit after number 3. Other review sites have noted that the comparisons are far too much to avoid and that this film failed for them at this point. The comparisons can be made for sure, but these traps are not meant to house people, make them find a cruel and often punishing way out, and ultimately, see the error of their ways. Its obvious that this guy has absolutely no intention whatsoever of letting anyone out of the heavily rigged home.
After we see the husband and wife strung up and hog tied, the next hour or so of the film is a total cat and mouse game: between the home improvement robber dude, the family as he tries to help them escape and the masked man who's set up the series of intricate traps. All the while you are constantly left wondering what the hell is the motive behind all this?

What is a great series of thrills and up until a certain point an entirely original affair, got me pissed off in more ways than one by the end. Not because of the similarities to Saw, not because of the constant cat and mouse games that seemed never ending, but for the sheer act of bravado and arrogance on the part of the directors at the end: no resolution to the film occurs and the SOLE purpose for its existence is setting itself up for a sequel and/or series like the Saw films. Way to be original fuckwads. You never understand why it is this guy has planted the maze or more importantly, why it is he is 'collecting' people. At about the midway point of the film, the home improvement robber guy runs into a box that is being stored in a closet. He opens it and the contents spill out, revealing a guy who has been chained together. The chained guy babbles on about the masked trap setting guy and how he collects people and if you are deemed unfit, he kills you. Um, OK.

So the only other conclusion that my feeble mind could come up with is that you find out that the masked trap setting guy was also casing the joint as a pest control exterminator. Could this be a man that is collecting people much in the same way people collect, poke, and stick bugs onto cork boards? He does have a certain fascination with bugs in the film. This is the only modus operandi that I could come up with after I downed about 4 beers to calm my angry nerves. Fuck this movie and the arrogant ass directors that helmed it. I really hope the vast horror populace out there truly sees this movie for what it is. What an insult.

Cortez the Killer


Bill said...

very glad i opted for Orphan over this

Iloz Zoc said...

Pretty much the way I felt, too.
The ending didn't give a payoff. It was a franchise-building, no resolution, keep it going, ending. Which completely rips off any cred the storyline built up to. I felt cheated.

Planet of Terror said...

OK, either this movies flew under the radar as a remake of sorts or its a complete ripoff of an old 1965 movie my pops told me about last night (see link below). I guess I'm leaning towards the former rather than the later. Either way, I'm still incensed and feel cheated.