Shameless Band Promotion: 5/5
Starring everyone's favorite vampiric black metaller, Dani Filth, Cradle of Fear is a surprisingly fun and over the top gorefest. At times I was mildly annoyed, feeling like I was watching a Cradle of Filth infommercial and the mere fact that they didn't make Dani look any different than his dolled up, corpse painted, silver clawed ring wearing stage persona, was also irritating. But all the metal band promotion aside, the film still delivers a goofy and insanely fun movie watching affair.
The film itself focuses on 4 different stories all interconnected by main characters that had a hand in sending a child killer to prison. Namely, they all served on the jury that convicted him. The child killer practiced satanism and while in prison, he uses fellow friend and satanist Filth (known simply as 'The Man'; I mean really?, couldn't you think of a more creative name?) as his vehicle to commit revenge.
People die in all kinds of gnarly ways the craziest of which, Filth presides over himself (rather than killing them via various satanic rituals or mind controlling practices). A gothy girl eyes him up and down at a local club (in which everyone looks like a cliched douchey Hot Topic kid) and she gets him to take her into a back room. He starts to munch down on her no-no part when this crazy, tentacled looking monster comes out of him. She wakes up after blacking out, starts seeing demons as she's walking home (thinking its all just a bad acid trip or something) and crawls into bed when she gets back to her apartment to sleep off whatevers left in her system. She wakes up in the middle of the night when she feels something moving in her belly and thinks that Filthy boy has impregnated her with something, and she starts hacking away at her belly with a pair of scissors. Sure enough, a little spawn pops out and its basically a baby fetus with four spider-like legs sticking out as appendages. After the host kicks off, it goes after her roommate and mauls her face. Cue Cradle of Filth soundtrack.
The rest of the stories follow suit in equally graphic and over the top ways none more silly than the actual finale with Filth and the cop that's been trying to catch up with him. Gore hounds will love this one. A totally mindless film thats a lot of fun. Now if Filth (and his band members) would just stop playing bad metal, the world would truly be a better place.
Cortez the Killer