Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Popcorn (1991)

Fear 0/5
Gore 0/5
Entertainment 2/5
Creepiness 0/5

Continuing down my movie watching path of terrible script writing and convoluted plot development (see yesterday's post), comes this little number from 1991. Ahhhh, 90's horror movies, where just about every one of 'em looked like they were shot with the cast of Saved by the Bell or 90210. I was madly in love with Brenda Walsh and thought she was sexy, in a very badass way. But that is neither here nor there. On with the review.

A group of college film students get an idea from their professor to hold a horror movie festival to raise money for their department. The idea is to show old schlock classics from the 50's that employed some sort of gimmick (i.e. Shock-O-Vision, Smell-O-Rama, etc.) at an old movie house that would be torn down in the next couple of weeks. They meet with the owner of the theater (played by one, Mr. Hand), he approves, and the kids begin to rig up the old place with all the gadgets and gizmos needed to spook and shock the audience.

While setting up the theater, the professor shows an old tape that a 70's artsy fartsy film student friend of his made that was in response to some heavy criticism he was receiving. The student, who also stars in the tape, presents himself as the 'Possessor' and repeats his name over and over and over throughout the pic (complete with fire, medieval swords and blood coming out of his mouth). The film culminates with his effort to stab a woman to death only, before he does so, the film cuts out. One of the female film students freaks out as she awakes every morning after a series of dreams that contain the same images that were shown on the tape. The professor explains that the man who shot it premiered it at a movie house and in his final coup de grace, he attempted to kill a female audience member he had lured onstage to complete the final scene. He was shot to death before he could do so and as he fell to the floor, he knocked over one of his set pieces, setting the entire theater on fire. Everyone died in the fire....or so it was thought. You with me? Now prepare to get mind fucked.

So the kids go about throwing their film fest and the girl begins to think that the film student who shot the film will be coming back to finish the job based on her wacky dreams. And what better venue than an old movie theater with a bunch of packed kids? So naturally, all of the students start getting picked off one by one by some dude who is continuously changing his disguise. He has some hidden lair in the theater and he fashions rubber masks out of some molding contraption, copying the faces of the kids he's killed and running around pretending to be them and killing off the other unsuspecting kids.

The girl comes face to face with the dude, originally thinking its the director of the weird film (whom she now has found out is her father) only its not really the director of the film who tried to kill the girl, who set fire to the theater, and is supposedly her father, rather its some dude who was horribly disfigured in the fire, who also lost his mom, and he's come back to seek revenge and complete the end of the film. Oh, and its revealed that the girl, along with him, are the lone survivors of the fire. Has your head exploded yet?

So cheeseburger face man (who looks like a cross between Mayor McCheese and Robocop w/o his helmet on) reenacts the last scene and tries to finish the film that was never completed. The girl is strapped into an iron dress as he belts out 'And you thought Iron Maiden was just the name of a heavy metal band?' That's the best line and part of the whole fucking movie. So the girl is saved and the man is killed when one of the lone students who hasn't been offed uses one of the festival props and spears the cheeseburger face man. Holy fuck!

Hands down one of the worst horror movies I've ever seen (and I've seen a shitload). Almost zero blood, NO GORE, and the worst fucking plot I've ever bared witness to. Do yourself a favor and avoid this one at all costs.

Cortez the Killer

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