Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Mausoleum (1983)

Fear 2/5
Gore 3/5
Entertainment 5/5
Creepiness 2/5
T&A Factor 5/5

Holy awesome, what a great little find this was. File this under the 'so bad its good' category. A teenage girl is mourning the death of her dear ol' mum at a cemetary with her aunt when she suddenly flies into a berzerker rage. She runs through the cemetary as voices being to ring in her head. She sees a smoke cloud as it hovers and envelops the large mausoleum in the center of the cemetary and decides to enter inside (common sense be damned!). Upon entering, her eyes start glowing a crazy shade of green and some sort of pointy fingered, rubbery hand emerges from the concrete coffin. A caretaker enters the tomb to remove the girl, he sees the crazy stink eye, and he runs out into the cemetary where his head promptly explodes. Excelente!

Fast forward a few years and the grown woman begins to suspect that she is being possessed by the same demon that inhabited her madre. Apparently every first born woman in her family becomes possessed by this demon (why exactly? its never fully explained other than saying her family is cursed! Egad!). Her husband and psychiatrist don't know what to do about her strange behavior. Namely, she likes to get jiggy with random guys and hack them to pieces. This gal is scorching hot and the T&A factor is off the chain.

So the husband and psychiatrist come to find out that the only way to kill the demon is to put a crown of thorns on her head. Why? Again, its never fully explained. But who cares, by this point boobies abound and dudes are getting hacked to shit.

The only place to find the crown is back at the mausoleum. They lure the woman there, we see her in all her demonic glory (including mini little demon heads poking out of her ta ta's) and they get the crown of thorns onto her head by playing a game of carnival ring toss.

A decidedly goofy and silly affair, with about a '10' on the man-part, pitch-a-tent scale, Mausoleum is a hoot. No trailer for this one. But the aforementioned dude's head exploding can be found below. And I'm also attaching a picture to validate said hotness.

Cortez The Killer

1 comment:

جیم said...

Scary movie & Sexy Lady!