Friday, February 13, 2009

Friday the 13th -- 'Re-Imagining' Rant

So I haven't seen this yet but I have a feeling that this is going to bring the suck. I haven't read any reviews yet nor have I consulted the almighty Rotten Tomatoes. The reason why I feel that this will suck is the inclusion of one or more of the following elements:
1. Jason figures to be more prominent in this film. As we all know the mother was the killer in the original and the shock of this, is what really unnerved some movie goers. Guaranteed this 're-imagining' will shock no one.
2. OK so #1 is a tall order to fill. Let's be more realistic here. Michael 'Explosions Go Boom' Bay is directing this. Guaranteed the horror elements of the film will be ruined by overproduction, over the top special effects and an explosion or 10,000. Bank on it.
3. From previews I've seen, it looks like the first person perspective which made the original so terrifying and unique is also absent.
4. So far, each reincarnation of the big three slashers (Halloween, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street) has sucked. OK, so maybe there is only a sample size of one, but the remake of Halloween sucked donkey dingus. Not to mention that the iconic Robert Englund is not even involved in the Nightmare on Elm Street remake, is enough to make me believe this will be another steamy pile of shiznit.
5. Did I mention that Michael Bay directed this?

I could be wrong but I doubt it. And just like the good horror geek that I am, I'll still go see it. I'm actually more intrigued by the Last House on The Left Remake (trailer below).
Cortez the Killer


2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Actually, Michael Bay is just the producer. Marcus Nispel is the director. He did the first Texas Chainsaw remake which I liked. He also did Pathfinder, the viking movie which I did not see. Oh, and a Billy Joel video. But, a point of interest is that it's also co-produced by Sean Cunningham who is responsible for the first (original film). . . and the Last House of the Left remake (dumb).

I've never been a big F13 fan so I already have low expectations. If it's gory and slightly fun, I'm happy.

And the Halloween remake was decent. Actually pretty good. But I get your drift and I agree- enough with the fucking remakes already. Black Friday is slated to be remade for 2010. Wtf.

Cortez the Killer said...

I stand corrected. And this has actually swayed me a bit and hope for something better knowing that Nispel is attached. I loved the first Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake as well.

Agree to disagree on the Halloween remake.

Truly WTF, Black Friday? How are they going to solve for the re-casting of the Karloff and Lugosi roles? I smell poop.