Monday, May 12, 2008

Wrong Turn (2003)

Fear 0/5
Gore 3/5
Creepiness 1/5
Entertainment 2/5

By the books, no surprises, no frills low budget film about scary country folk who hunt down naive and shapely college kids. Nothing new or exciting here, but if you're looking for a quick fix of dopey horror with some decent, if computerized, gore scenes then you won't be disappointed.

Wrong Turn's storyline is painfully simple: college kids wind up taking a shortcut through the woods of West Virginia and wind up having to hoof it when their car is disabled. A family of inbred cannibals begins hunting them down one by one with torches, bows and arrows, axes, grunts and snorts aplenty. Oh, and they possess superhuman strength since Natural Selection dictates that inbreeding creates positive traits in people...right? Or do I have my science backwards?

Expect the protagonists to make very poor decision after very poor decision. Expect the villains to be indestructible (fire, axes, arrows, gunshots, giant tow trucks - nothing slows these guys down). Expect rural Southern stereotypes to flow like crystal clear moonshine. Expect girls with big honkers in tight sweaty undershirts and macho dudes who speak more with their fists than with their mouths.

Blah blah blah, Wrong Turn is nothing if not completely derivative of mid 70's rural-paranoia films cranked out by Wes Craven and Tobe Hooper. But it lacks the gritty and nasty atmosphere and reduces the death scenes to dull exercises in technical wizardry. In a word, this movie is "soulless" which sounds funny when describing a slasher film, but it's true.

Complaint Department

1 comment: said...

You mean you guys didn't see this film as the epitome of Red State conservatism and Blue State belly-shirts three years into the Bush II administration?