Saturday, February 9, 2008

Troll (1986)


Fear 0/5
Gore 0/5
Entertainment 2/5
Creepiness 0/5
Puppets and Claymation: 5/5

Truly awful film. I mean a shitfest to end all shitfests, and yet, it completely held my attention because of how bafflingly terrible it is.

Troll is amazing for several reasons. First, it's about a wizard who was changed into a troll back in the middle ages who now haunts the laundry room of a San Francisco apartment complex. His goal is to change all of the inhabitants into trolls like him so he can take over the world. He does this by pricking them with an enormous green ring he wears. This not only puts them through a gooey metamorphosis into a pod that pops open to reveal little puppety trolls, but also turns the apartments into miniature forests covered with pot plants. It's mind blowing. If Sid and Marty Kroft had made a feature film in the 1980's, this would have been it.

Second, the main characters are both named Harry Potter (Sr. and Jr.). JK Rowling claims to have known nothing about this when she started her series and I believe her. I just don't see her as a big "Troll" fan, but who knows.

Third, the cast is fantastic: Shelly Hack from Charlie's Angels; June Lockhart from Lost in Space; Sonny Bono from crashing into trees; Noah Hathaway from The Neverending Story (one of the creepiest films I've ever seen); Michael Moriarty from Law & Order; Gary Sandy from WKRP in Cinncinati; and of course, in all of her partially nude forest-hippie glory - Julia Louise Dreyfus aka Elaine Benes.

Fourth, and finally - Dad (Michael Moriarty) performs this lewd/awkward air guitar dance to Blue Cheer's "Summertime Blues" that must be seen to be believed.

Worth seeing once. But never again. . . Ok, I'd watch it again.

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