Monday, December 31, 2007

Sublime (2007)

Fear 1/5
Gore 1/5
Entertainment 1/5
Creepiness 2/5
Nightmares 1/5

Nothing, and I mean nothing, is worse than the "it was only a dream" resolution. So, regardless of how good the first 90 minutes of this film may have been, the fact that it was all in the main characters head completes negates it. Not that the first 90 minutes are excellent by any stretch.

Sublime is about a self-proclaimed middle aged, liberal white guy who celebrates his 40th birthday with family fiends the night before he is scheduled to go into the hospital for a routine colonoscopy (sp??). The next day he meets with his doctor, gets a quick overview over what's going to be done and is put under.

Oh but things go horribly wrong as main guy awakens with stitches across his abdomen and remains in a post anesthetic haze he never really comes out of. While he's trying to figure out what went wrong he is visited by a stern African-American nurse who changes his drip bag and then, apparently, kills the patient next to him who had most of his limbs amputated. He is also visited by a nurse in a tiny mini skirt, white fishnet stockings and high heels who wheels him around an abandoned wing of the hospital where poor people and immigrants are tortured and operated on in awful conditions. The he and the nurse get it on. Following so far?

Meanwhile, throughout all of this we are treated to little snippets of conversations he had with his friends and family the night before his operation and we start to see elements of this weave their way into his current situation - he sees his friends on the home shopping network peddling the gift they gave him for example. Then the mean Black nurse returns and starts torturing him and rattling off a bunch of dopey dialogue about how he's named "mandingo" and he's here to fuck him up because, essentially, he's white and Mandingo wants his revenge. Still with me?

So while you're trying to put everything together (and wondering how many times the director actually watched Jacob's Ladder before he made this) it is finally revealed that the colonoscopy was botched and the main guy has actually been in a coma for the last 7 months imagining everything. Yes friends, it's all in his head.

Sublime is supposed to be about what happens when one is forced to face their deepest fears and can't escape from them - in this case, the characters deepest fears being people of color, lesbians, his wife's fidelity and a whole bunch of other things one expects white yuppies to be afraid of.

Fucking weak shit here. A stereotype is a stereotype regardless of who it's used on, and it's insulting to any audience looking for something deeper than 10th grade sociology. And the "all in your head" ending is the worst way to end any horror movie. Period. I hated this.

it did make me not want to visit my doctor anytime soon though, I'll give it that.

- Complaint Dept.

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