Tuesday, December 11, 2007

The Blob (1988)

Fear 1/5
Gore 3/5
Entertainment 3/5
Creepiness 0/5
Nightmares 0/5
Kevin Dillon Mullet Alert 5/5

Seriously people, this one was worth the price of admission just for Dillon's spectacular mullet. I know it's most likely a wig, but I don't care. The fact that someone went to the trouble to make him look like some Hollywood dude's idea of what "cool looks like" makes me believe in the afterlife.

This, of course, is a remake of the 1958 film of the same name with Kevin Dillon in place of Steve McQueen and a shitty motorcycle in place of a nice hot rod. The plot is more or less the same as the original. "More" in that something comes crashing to the earth from space and a gelatinous goo escapes from it devouring everything it can slime itself over (usually people). "More" in that the rebellious teenager and the prom princess are the only ones who seem to know what's really going on and can't seem to convince the adults that something "not of this world" is taking place. Isn't that always the case? "Less" in that there is a lot more blood and melted skin this time around - including an annoying little boy who get partially devoured by the Blob and winds up a slobbery pile of goo. Gotta love that. "Less" in that the Blob is not an alien but rather a man-made virus that mutated within a satellite that came crashing back to Earth.

Still, like the first one, it's a ton of fun. The dialogue is ridiculous and the plot is barely held together by a tapestry of one liners and bad jokes, but you smile the whole way, occasionally pointing and laughing at the "Ghostbusters"-esque Blob itself and having a grand ole time. Plus Crazy Joe Davola from Seinfeld makes an appearance which is also a fun moment.

And the price of admission for me? Nada. Which is why that mullet was worth it.

- Complaint Department

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