Monday, November 19, 2007

Kalifornia (1993)

Fear 0/5
Gore 1/5
Entertainment 0/5
Creepiness 0/5
Nightmares 0/5

Were it not for the 10 seconds of Brad Pitt's gored up and smashed face in the last scene, this movie would have scored a zero across the board. Not sure if I've ever scored so low. Hmm. Anyway, I'm not sure how I got to thinking this was a horror film - maybe because the subject matter is serial killers, maybe because it was on some show like "100 scariest films" that aired around Halloween, maybe because it was on FearNet - dunno. But, it's not. And, it's not good. Look at that fucking poster for Christ's sake. But, because I spent two hours of my life watching this, I guess I should write something.
David Duchovney (fresh off the Red Shoe Diaries) is a douchebag yuppie writer who is working on a book about serial killers. He and his douchebaggier, yuppie, artist girlfriend (who looks like she was cut from a Robert Palmer video) decide to take a trip across the country exploring the sites of famous serial-murder sites. Since he has blown his advance from the book company and his girlfriend's art is deemed "unfit for mass consumption", they need a little extra cash to help them out. So they put up a posting at the local college to get some people to share the ride and expenses with them as they head for "Kalifornia". Enter serial killer and southern stereotype Brad Pitt and his dumb damaged little girlfriend Juliette Lewis.

This movie is boring, has very bad dialogue and wooden acting from most of it's cast. About the only thing good in the film is Juliette Lewis who is mind-numbingly annoying and stupid (her character - not the real actress whom I know very little about). That's fun to watch because it's funny.

Otherwise, this movie sucked. It is not scary. And they never explained the spelling of "Kalifornia".

-Complaint Department

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