Thursday, November 22, 2007

Idiocracy (2006)

Fear: 5/5
Gore: 0/5
Entertainment: 5/5
Creepiness: 5/5
Nightmares: 5/5

Idiocracy is the scariest movie I have seen in years. First it was the horror movie industry in America that started to churn out cookie-cutter, dumbed down movies, but now it is happening across the board.

Did you see the Transformers movie this summer? I dare you to explain that movie to someone with a straight face, especially the scene where the transformers are hiding outside the kids window trying not to be seen by his parents.

Idiocracy shows us the future, and by future I mean tomorrow when you wake up where the world has been populated by insanely stupid and lazy people who try to water plants with gatorade and the president is a WWF style wrestler and starbucks is a place that sells hand jobs. But the real first sign of Idiocracy coming true is the entertainment of the future, where movies like "Ass" win best picture. "Ass" shows an ass for 2 hours, as it occasionally farts.

But people, don't you want to know whose ass it is, and why it's farting? I used to subscribe to the whole "so bad it's good" idea, but now there is just bad for the sake of bad. Movies like Lethal Weapon or Anaconda seem smart compared to the shit coming out not.

If you need a point of reference for how terrifying the future is, go watch the Transformers, War of the Worlds (remake) and The Mist, and then watch Idiocracy. You won't be able to get out of bed. Forget the monster in the closet, the real terror is living next door and is best viewed through Fox News.

I am giving up on Hollywood, an entity I could always count on to take me away from the horrors of the world. Now Hollywood is simply a huge mirror to the horrors of the world.

- the fucking beard

* * * * *

Obviously, Idiocracy is not a "horror film" in the sense that people are killed, monsters attack major cities or powertools dismember idiot teenagers. But, as Beardo says, it is scary. I watched this enjoying how clever it was and feeling bad that it would only get bad reviews from critics. How can it not? When 99% of your cast are supposed to be one step above being mentally challenged and the central plot revolves around a society that has succumbed to the lowest common denominator, there can only be dick jokes, fart jokes, more dick jokes and more fart jokes. Case in point - there is a great scene where the passage of time is measured by how much the hamburger chain "Fuddruckers" evolves over 500 years. If you assume that NASCAR fans will overtake the world, then it's a safe bet to assume that "Fuddruckers" must become "Buttfuckers". It's a childish and lame joke - but that's why it works. It has to be childish and lame for the film's statement to work. And that's why this film failed both critically and financially. Which is too bad. It's funny, clever and, yes, scary.

Complaint Department

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