Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Captivity (2007)

Fear 1/5
Gore 2/5
Entertainment 5/5
(only due to the Elisha Cuthbert factor)
Creepiness 1/5
Nightmares 0/5

A whole much ado about nothing was made when promotional posters were displayed all across L.A. months before this movie premiered in theaters. Deemed too 'disturbing' by god knows who, they were promptly taken down (this is apparently one of them). If only the movie itself could have lived up to the initial (and unnecessary) hype.
Brought to you by the same studio as the 8 Films to Die For series (so you already know that it has a 50/50 chance of suckage), Captivity centers on a kidnapped supermodel that is holed up in a concrete prison of sorts with all kinds of mazes and 2 way mirrors (think Saw). Starring Elisha 'She will be my wife' Cuthbert, the film is low on suspense and high on obviousness. Just read the press release synopsis for the film: “A fashion model and a chauffeur are kidnapped and held hostage in a small room by a serial killer. While the madman methodically terrorizes them, the victims draw strength from each other and fall in love.” Gee I wonder who's behind the seemingly out of nowhere kidnapping of a fashion queen that every girl wants to be and every guy wants to be with?
With the lack of suspense completely out of the way within the first 20 minutes of the film, there was still hope for redemption. After all, Ms. Cuthbert is ridiculously hot and the scenes in which she is mentally tortured were a little creepy. One in which (again playing into the Saw theme here where people are made to do things against their will), she is forced to decide on pulling the trigger aimed at her own head or another aimed at that of her own fluffy poodle (ok maybe not so grotesque but I love dogs so it was mildly disturbing for me). So aside from that, and another scene in which an ad hoc dental procedure gets a little extra icky, thats all this film has going for it. By this time, if you have not already figured everything out, you obviously were never a road scholar candidate to begin with. The worst part about it is that the movie plays out until the end with its 'ah ha!' moment seemingly done overdramatically just to make sure that the end is truly shocking for those who still have not caught on.
Nothing about this film is shocking or controversial (even though the DVD cover would have you believe otherwise). But I could watch Elisha recite the phone book and be transfixed for hours so I guess the film was not all that bad.

Cortez the Killer

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