Thursday, August 23, 2007

The Hamiltons (2006)

Fear 0/5
Gore 1/5
Entertainment 1/5
Creepiness 0/5
Nightmares 05

Disappointing story about a group of "young adults" whose parents are killed in a car crash or something and are forced to fend for themselves and grown up a little sooner than expected. Early on we are given the impression that there is something "odd" about the members of the family and the rest of the movie is spent exploring their weird behavior and the fact that they kidnap and torture young, attractive women in their basement.

Despite what the above sounds like (cliched and non-original), the previews made this look interesting since it seemed that the family were, aside from the murdering, relatively normal. A neat concept that could have been scary in a "they could be anyone - even your next door neighbor" kind of way. And while the dialogue and acting are amateurish at best, I was willing to put that aside since it is a low budget independent film.

Sadly though, it becomes too silly about halfway through as the writers decided that it would be more effective to make the family members obviously weird and not just in a hidden kind of way. So the twins indulge in a little incest, the oldest brother turns out to be gay (which I'm not sure is really all that "weird"..actually a little offended that I'm supposed to be bothered by it) and the youngest sibling is locked away in a room and fed scraps. Occasionally he tears into an arm or threatens to break down the door while screaming in horrible agony. It's intended to be disturbing (I THINK) but it's all just kind of goofy.

And here's the big spoiler for you (meaning, this is the "twist" of the film) - it turns out they're not murders, but vampires. Yup. Dumb.

While I respect the fact that the people involved with the film tried to make an innovative and smart movie about a subject that is way too often completely botched by bad goth-shit and erotic douchebaggery, I am disappointed to break the news to them that they tried a bit too hard and wound up in dopeyville. Better luck next time.

- Complaint Dept


the fucking beard said...

i went to disneyland last weekend because it was goth day. living next to normal looking folks who might wind up being closet hot topic shoppers who want to drink my blood is a totally rational fear.

Jewcifer said...

ahahaahahhaa hot topic shoppers