Sunday, July 29, 2007

Reign of Fire (2002)

Fear 1/5
Gore 1/5
Entertainment 3/5
Creepiness 0/5
Nightmares 0/5
Not really a horror movie, but close enough to qualify. This movie could have failed so easily. It's a movie about dragons for fucks's sake, like Dragonheart, Dragonslayer and, of course, Pete's Dragon. But it had some things on it's side, namely two of the people involved with the production: Christian Bale and director Rob Bowman (of X-Files fame). Ah, but then there is Matthew McConaughey, he of the bad acting, slow-witted drawl and bad movie choices. And again, it's about dragons.
But it's actually pretty good in a late night, only one left awake kind of way. The story is somewhat creative, the dragons themselves are pretty cool (and well executed) and McConaughey plays a total dick-weed so it you don't mind the fact that he's a loathsome person in real life because he's supposed to be a douchebag the movie too. Win-win.
Story wise, you get this: A construction crew digging deep into the ground as they build a new building in downtown London break through into a large cavern, awaking and releasing an enormous dragon who has been sleeping for millennia. The dragon spawns at an incredible rate, and despite the best efforts of all of the Earth's armies, soon lays waste to the entire planet leaving only isolated bands of humanity left to eek out an existence through small farms and non-stop fights with the dragons.
In Northern England, one such group, led by Christian Bale, encounters a "rogue" military group who believe they have found the key to wiping out the dragons forever. The military dudes are led by McCounaughey who looks like he stepped out of bad metal video. Egos clash, testosterone splashes about and tasteful dialogue is shit upon by one endless scene of macho man-festing after another, but who cares? The dragons are awesome, they continue to destroy shit and blow shit up and there's a ton of action that makes the whole thing more of a spectacle than a movie.
The effort is made to keeps things somewhat believable (relatively speaking) and the production values are high, both of which are appreciated, but honestly, all I needed was the non-stop action and destruction being blown forth by the monsters in the movie. That's what I expected and wanted and that's what I got. If you are expecting more from a movie about dragons, you're expecting too much. And you're a dork.
Complaint Dept.

2 comments:

the fucking beard said...

man, it looks like you had the same weekend at home watching cable that i did. i love this movie. i saw it in the theater and i saw it two days ago on cable, and everytime i think of it i get a little warm inside thinking of my man matthew jumping off a castle or whatever and onto a dragon's back with an axe in his hands.

Jewcifer said...

Hmm... I saw this movie a while ago and only remember finding it marginally less shittacular than Dragonheart. Maybe I should give it another spin...