Wednesday, May 16, 2007

The Funhouse (1981)

Fear: 0
Gore: 0
Entertainment: 2/5
Creepiness: 2/5
Nightmares: 1/5

Ever wondered what would happen if John Carpenter invaded the body of Tobe Hooper and made him walk around, going to film meetings and pitching ideas until he finally gets to make his own movie with Tobe's body? No? Me neither but I'm pretty sure that's what happened with this little gem. It's not all bad, there are some genuinely creepy scenes in the funhouse itself, and the main monster is truly gross. But Tobe Hoopers finest, it aint.

We start off by ripping off the opening scene from Halloween where a kid sneaks into the shower to "scare" his big sister by wearing a frankenstein mask and fake stabbing her with a fake knife. Genius, why didn't I think of that? She's too overcome with joy at not being REAL stabbed to think about her kid brother looking at her nakedness.

I'll get to the point: goody two shoes girl has annoying little brother and over-protective parents. Little bro wants to go to the carnival, but little miss has a hot date with "Buzz" who is 40 years older than her, at least.

And where do they go? The carnival. Only this isn't the carnival we grew up with, this one has exotic dancer peepshows, mutated animal freakshows and of course a funhouse run by a dude in a Frankenstein costume, who turns out to be horribly disfigured. So much so, that the Frankenstein mask he wears all the time, is much better than his real face.

So the couple, and their friends (double date time!) after sneaking into the peepshow and getting kicked out of the fortune tellers tent for being too rowdy, decide to stay the night in the funhouse, which is apparently is as easy as deciding it's what you want to do.

While they snuggle down for the night, they realize that the Frankenfreak lives under the funhouse, as they see lights come on through the boards below them and they hear voices. Frankenfreak is trying to have sex with the fortune teller for a hundred bucks, but she backs out on the deal, so of course he kills her. In comes Dad who is going to cover up the crime, until one of our teenagers drops something through the floor and the Dad picks it up. Uh Oh! The gig is up!

Now father and freak son use the terrors of the funhouse to disorient the teens until they can be picked off one by one. Or, until the teens fight back and kill the father and son duo. Who will win? Enter the funhouse if you dare to find out!

the fucking beard

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i've got one word for this movie. wow.

-Hex