Monday, April 30, 2007

The GraveDancers (2006)

Fear 0-5: 3 (only the first half hour)
Gore 0-5: 1
Creepiness 0-5: 2
Entertainment: 0-5: 1
Nightmare: 0-5: 0

Before I review another movie from this series, let me preface it with how this whole series was billed. I could not wait until this series came out. It did not show in any local theaters here in Dallas and was advertised as a series of horror movies, 'too extreme' for mainstream audiences. Finally, a return to good ol' fashioned gore, sick and twisted movies so disturbing, the images will stay with you long after the credits role (i.e. see 'I Spit On Your Grave'). Instead what I've seen thus far is stuff produced for the mass consumption of the teeny bopper mall rats with barely a PG-13 rating. This is the 4th movie in the series to be reviewed on this here site and so far, my sentiments echo those of Mr. K Murphy. Think of a horror cliche and I'm sure you'll find it.

The GraveDancers involve a group of grieving friends, upset that one of their childhood friends has died young by way of car accident. After a night of drinking, they decide to visit their friend's grave. One of the friends finds a 'mysterious' note that has been left at the gravesite. Upon reading the contents of the note, the friends decide to do a drunken jig on the resting places of the buried inhabitants because thats what you do when you read a weird letter that tells you to do so. Apparently dancing on graves is a big no-no and they come to find out that their night of Dance Party USA has unleashed the spirits within. The ghosts hitch a ride home and begin to reek havoc on their lives.

I'll admit, the first 1/2 hour of this movie was pretty damn good. Some genuinely creepy moments especially one that involved a hospital waiting room. But then the movie sharply turns and its like the damn script was hijacked. Someone beat up the original script writer because they thought it would be a good idea to make a quasi sci-fi flick mixed with a really bad episode of Scooby Doo. I was waiting for Shaggy to jump out to pull the mask off of one of the ghosts, only to find out it was old man Withers. Mix in some additionally crappy CGI and you have some seriously bad shit that would make George Lucas puke. So for those of you keeping track at home, that's 4 flicks down with 4 more to go. Lets hope there is one diamond in the rough.

Posted by: Cortez the Killer
Fear: 0/5
Gore: 1/5
Entertainment: 1/5
Creepiness: 0/5
Nightmares: 0/5
Cheeze: 3/5
Stupid, formulaic, by the books. There's a scene where a coffin stands on end by itself and you can see the string pulling it up clear as day. That kind of movie. The kind where a big CGI skull thingy comes crashing through buildings like God in Time Bandits, but worse and cheesier. Doo Doo. I saw it on Fearnet and "Miss Horrorfest" interviewed the director. I fast forwarded, but I hope she asked "So, are you embarrassed by the movie?" And I hope he said "Yes, deeply."
Complaint Department.

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